The Subject
by LambGraceless
Summary: Boy saves girl from alternate universe on a whim. Girl knows things. Boy is intrigued. A complete rewrite of my other attempt at a self insert. I AM REWRITING
1. Forestland

Author's note: Heeeey guys! Long time no seeee! This is a complete rewrite of "I Don't See Any Appeal to This" with a new title and a completely different plot (complete with a new leading man!) Also, hopefully less embarrassing to read. I wrote myself in a corner last time and this time I have a clear rough plot outline. So there is a severe lack of fics featuring Kabuto and I find that absolutely shameful. I may be the only one who finds this shameful but whatever. Probably because he's a bit weird to write. I tried to maintain his healing nature mixed with his sadistic curiosity and (of course) thirst for power. I've been watching the Fourth War arc and dear lord if he just had a friend or a girlfriend or something before he took the path of no return he wouldn't have turned out this way. Enter bookish anomaly girl. Perfect.

Also the language barrier I found so hard to write could've been easily fixed by just making English the official language of one of the Great Nations. Duh. Goodbye magical language fixings! I made Kabuto fluent because he spent a shit load of time in Earth country (where coincidentally is where his "mother" tried to kill him) this also makes characters like Deidara also fluent.

* * *

Chapter 1

Forestland

I've never considered myself to be an "outdoorsy" sort of person. Sure, nature is a beautiful and wonderful gift that should be treasured and preserved for those who wish to experience nature in its purest form as long as they wish. People like my father believe that everyone should spend at least thirty minutes a day in the throes of nature, no matter how terrible the heat index or humidity get. Those who disagree and prefer to live their lives in temperatures under 80 degrees Fahrenheit are labeled as no-life, overweight depressed trolls; though I'm pretty sure he only thinks of me in that way.

I've gotten off topic. I could brood about my piss poor family situation later. At that moment, I was in a forest. A very thick and deep forest that looked nothing like the forest behind my house. For one, there was a severe lack of "No Trespassing" signs that I always ignored.

For another, the terrain looks as if it had not been maintained for hiking. I also don't remember falling asleep in the forest, which is where I found myself at that moment.

I blink in confusion as I surveyed my surroundings.

Actually, I don't even remember falling asleep. If I was asleep, I wouldn't have been wearing pajama shorts, socks or (thank Jesus) my glasses.

I clean my glasses with the hem of my gray tank top as if it would make any difference in my location. Nope, still in Forestland.

Thankfully, the weather was perfect with a nice cool breeze blowing through the trees. I lower my head to gaze at my pink fuzzy socks that were now soiled by the ground. Oh well, I guess they'll have to do for foot protection.

Without proper shoes, my hiking distance was severely limited due to my lack of arch support.

I estimated my distance limit would depend on how much my feet could take without giving out.

Logically, there was bound to be civilization in any direction I walked, if I didn't die of starvation or dehydration before I found help.

I mentally slap myself. That's quitter talk. Even if I was on a vast wildlife preserve, there was bound to be rangers or something.

In America, every scrap of land is owned or maintained by someone. Ah, the benefits of living in a capitalistic, post industrial society.

If I had lived anywhere but Northwest Louisiana, I would have been worried that no one would find me before death by the elements eventually took me. There are no mountains to lose myself in and in every forest a road is bound to be nearby.

I chuckle. I'd be rescued in no time.

Two hours later I was singing a different tune. My feet hurt, I had tripped over about half a dozen rocks and I was starving.

My hair, which I had attempted to keep in place with a stick I had found, admittedly had worked for awhile but didn't stop blobs of sweaty hair from sticking to my body.

I was desperate enough to wish for a pair of scissors so I could chop off my lovely long reddish brown hair that I worked so hard to grow. I was probably due for a trim anyway.

My feet were about to give out from exhaustion, but my stomach pains persisted and I found myself continuing to journey in hopes of finding any sort of civilization.

My brain had ceased to function properly as it does when not properly nourished.

Maybe if I wasn't so blinded by hunger, I would have noticed the gigantic rock my foot hit that forced me to fall to the ground, except this time instead of catching myself, the ground was too steep for me to maintain my balance and I fell down the slope until my head hit yet another rock that knocked me unconscious.

* * *

In my 25 years of life, I had never fainted or knocked unconscious.

Honestly it was something I was glad to never have experienced. I tendto stay out of any trouble that would cause me any physical harm, minus the 'toe hairline fracture ' incident of 2014.

Being knocked unconscious felt as if I was forced asleep for an indeterminate amount of time.

Except when you wake up, you get this headache which feels like the most painful hangover headache in existence, minus the trademark hangover tongue numbness.

When I open my eyes, I was no longer in the forest. I was a dimly lit room, and missing my glasses. I rub my eyes and temples. I contemplate sitting up to assess my surroundings but the throbbing in my head and feet protested this decision.

I ignore the pain the best I could so I could push myself up using my elbows. Suddenly, a man appears at my bedside. He pushes me back on the bed lightly as he mutters something in another language.

He hands me a remote with one of those little buttons that I assume could lift the bed into a sitting position. I press the button, and that's exactly what it did. I smiled weakly and turn to face the man who I assume saved my life.

He looks to be about my age, give or take a few years. Despite his young face, the long hair that he kept in a low ponytail was an unusual silver color. He wears large round glasses that honestly worked for him in a cute, nerdy sort of way. He kind of reminded me of a character in Naruto, Kabuto.

Ah, memories. Kabuto was actually one of my favorites, despite the fact he was a dirty traitor and worked for a creepy pedophile. Still, I always found him to be an interesting and relatable character.

"W-what I didn't catch that?" I mumbled. "Kabuto" smirked.

"I said, don't sit up. Use the controls." he advises in near perfect English.

There was a hint of an accent but it was hard to catch if you weren't paying attention.

Which I was.

"Mmkay. My head's killing me. Where am I?"

"Orochimaru-sama's hideout" he answers

"...bullshit."

"I'm sorry, what?"

And that's when I lost it.

I start cackling uncontrollably. Oh my GOD I was just saved from certain death by a couple of freaking LARPers.

"Kabuto" gapes at me until I stopped laughing.

"So. You're telling me. I'm in the hideout of the great Snake Sannin. Lemme guess. Your name is Kabuto Yakushi. I call bullshit."

The urge to continue laughing was hard to resist, but somehow I did by controlling my breathing. In. Out. In. Out. Don't laugh. In. Out.

"Kabuto" gives me a bewildered expression. Obviously he was caught off guard by my acknowledgement of him.

"Uh, yes. That's my name. Why don't you believe that you are where I say you are?" he asks.

I roll my eyes. Of course I was rescued by a crazy person.

"Orochimaru and Kabuto are fictional characters. I'm saying there is no way in hell you are who you say you are." I speak slowly, as if I were speaking to a child. "Look kid, I'm not into the whole Live Action Role Playing thing. I appreciate the rescuing and the treatment, but I refuse to play along with your Naruto Shippuden LARPing routine. So, what's your real name, hm?"

"Kabuto" mouths the word LARPing and I thought he was going to ask me what it meant but I think the mention of Naruto's name made him reconsider and save his question for another time.

Instead he chuckles. "I guess you hit your head pretty hard. Alright, since you refuse to acknowledge your surroundings, I feel inclined to ask you some questions. Just standard head injury stuff."

"Mmkay Doc. May I call you Doc?" I ask.

"It's fitting, I suppose." he mutters, procuring a notebook and pen from his lab jacket pocket. "Alright. What is your full name?"

"Marie Anne Baxter."

"Age?"

"Twenty-five."

"Birthday?"

"May 26th, 1991."

"Blood type?"

"A negative."

And it went on like this for awhile. "Kabuto" asked me the standard post head trauma questions followed by several Naruto themed questions. At those, I would roll my eyes and refuse to answer.

Surprisingly, he didn't react to my refusal. Instead he would give me a blank stare and scribble something in his notebook and continue on to the next question.

Afterwards, "Kabuto" closes the notebook and pulls a pill bottle out of his lab jacket pocket.

"Here, take these." he directs, taking two small white pills from the bottle and holding them out to me.

"Please tell me that's Ibu Profien." I gushes, taking the pills from his hand.

"Ibu..what?" he mutters as he hands me a glass of water from the bedside table.

"Ibu Profien. Pain meds" I swallow the pills with the glass of water, silently praying that he didn't put anything weird in the pills.

Canon Kabuto was excellent at healing but he was a bit of a mad scientist. Hopefully fake!Kabuto ignored this character trait to help a girl in need.

"Oh..well. I suppose you could call them that." "Kabuto" drawls, a sinister smirk forming on his face.

The pain slowly starts ebbing away and I actually felt as if I would be able to stand...but once I try to stand, the world immediately goes black.

* * *

Author's note: This is the Kabuto/OC SI fic no one asked for. I'm actually rather proud of it to be honest, despite the lack of feedback I've gotten for it.

I'm in dire need of a beta at the moment, so if you're interested, please contact me

Edited 7 May 2017: word changes;format changes. I got a fancy writing app to try.


	2. Operation Friendship

Author's note: I forgot the disclaimer last chapter! I don't own anything but the OC. Naruto does not belong to me. Also the character Samantha Carter is mentioned. She also does not belong to me

* * *

Chapter 2

Operation Friendship

** **Kabuto** **

After knocking out the girl, Kabuto picks her up and deposits her on the bed. She was proving to be more interesting than he thought.

He'd originally rescued the girl to study her continued existence despite her lack of chakra signature. Studying unique occurrences in humans was somewhat of an ongoing project.

Like his master, Kabuto was constantly searching for measures to improve himself. He was always looking for new abilities and developing experimental procedures in obtaining these abilities himself. Eventually Kabuto would surpass Orochimaru-sama in power, but that would require time, patience, and of course, lots of hard work.

The girl was yet another of his experiments on masking chakra, but she had exhibited a clairvoyant ability while she was conscious. She knew his full name when he mentioned their location.

Not many people knew of his existence, not even those who worked for or were being experimented on by Orochimaru-sama even knew his name. He was a nobody. He'd always excelled at keeping a low profile. Yet she automatically associated his identity with his master's name, as if it were common knowledge.

How had she done that so easily? He observes the girl as she slept. She looked like the average talentless civilian, most likely overlooked by everyone. Yet she was bestowed with such unique abilities. Once she had recovered, he would begin his investigation. Marie Baxter was going to be a lot of fun.

* * *

** **Marie** **

When I came to, my headache had vanished and my feet felt as if I could stand on them again. I felt...refreshed. Such a strange thing to feel after being roofied by a cosplaying freak. Said cosplaying freak was sitting at a small desk by the bed, scribbling away in that notebook of his.

I sit up with no ill effects and stretch my arms, and I notice a shiny new pair of glasses on the bedside table. I put them on and relish in the gift of sight that they gave me with a happy squeal.

"Kabuto" looks up from his scribbling and smirks.

"Feeling better?" he asks.

"Much. What the hell did you give me, Yakushi? You know where I come from, drugging a girl against her will is seen as a crime." I grumble.

"Kabuto" chuckles. He has a nice laugh. Honestly, despite the fact that he thinks he's an anime character,"Kabuto" was actually a really good looking guy.

"No one forced you to take the pills I gave you." he counters.

"Well, no. But I didn't know they'd knock me out again!" I retort, sending him a disapproving look.

"Kabuto" rolls his eyes.

"Well, what'd you expect them to do? Take away the pain instantly?" he asks.

"That's beside the point. You could've warned me. Worst doctor ever." I fume.

"Kabuto" chuckles again and rolls his chair to my bedside.

"Let me check your head. Face me, please" he orders. I reluctantly swing my legs over the bed to face him.

"Kabuto" makes a couple of those stupid Naruto hand signs in rapid succession and suddenly his hands start to glow green.

My eyes widen. Oh shit. Ohhhhhhhhhhh shit. I inch away towards the wall, away from the glowing green hands of doom.

The man who I thought was a crazy LARPer who may ACTUALLY be Kabuto Yakushi (or a really REALLY rich, REALLY dedicated fan) frowns. "Something wrong? This isn't going to hurt."

"...shit. I think I may have hit my head harder than I thought." I mutter.

"What do you mean? Come closer, I can't reach you from over there"

"Hands just don't GLOW like that on their own!" I exclaim. Shit. I hit the wall. There's nowhere to run.

"Of course they don't. It requires lots of chakra control to use medical ninjutsu. Now come here." he says as he pulls on my arms forcing me back to the edge and in his range. "Hold still, this isn't going to hurt." he insists.

I whimper as I watch. He places his glowing green hands on the top of my head and they slowly work their way around my skull. I could feel a buzzing sensation ebbing from his hands which actually felt kinda soothing. His face was focused not on me but on the movement of his hands. The more he scanned the more perplexed his expression became.

"Um...what's wrong? Is...um..my brain okay?" I inquire.

He wordlessly withdraws his hands from my head, and rolls back to his desk to jot down notes in his notebook.

"Hey, I asked you a question."

"I know. I can't answer that question. Which is why I didn't answer." he divulges, not looking up from his work.

"Does that..head thing usually work?" I ask.

"Usually, yes. But you're a special case. You don't have chakra." he explains.

"...and that's...bad?"

"Actually it's why I picked you up in the first place. Every living thing has chakra. You don't and yet you're alive. I thought it was because you were masking it but you actually don't have any whatsoever."

"Wait a sec. You picked me up so you could experiment on me?"

Honestly it was just now sinking in. This guy, was actually Kabuto Yakushi, right hand man to the Pedo Snake himself. He was actually one of my favorite characters when he was first introduced during the Chûnin Exam arc. Even when he was revealed to be a spy, my 14 year old fangirl heart still loved him. I still see the appeal. Glasses, wicked smile, ponytail, and knowledgeable about how the human body works(*hint hint wink wink*) But I moved on from the Naruto franchise long ago. It was a phase I'm not entirely proud of.

"I prefer the term 'study' rather than 'experiment'. I want to study you the way you are right now."

"Um...why? Are study subjects allowed to ask questions?" I ask. Hell, if he wasn't going to do anything to me I might as well go along with it. Might be my ticket home if I played my cards right.

"So you're willing to submit yourself for study, then?" he queries,a smirk forming at the corners of his mouth.

"I mean...I don't really have a choice, do I?" I lament.

"Well, the process will be easier on me if you were willing." Kabuto admits with a maniacal grin on his face.

I give him a disapproving look. Kabuto may be cute but I had forgotten how creepy he gets when he talks about his work. Still, he was smart. If anyone could figure out how to get me home, he'd be my best bet.

"Sure, yeah. I consent to be studied as long as you involve me in the process. As in, you share the data you've gathered and more importantly, if you do anything to me, you tell me what effect it's going to have on me before you do it, got it?"

Kabuto laughs. "Oh, don't worry. It'll be purely observational for the first few weeks. Months, even. I've never seen anything like this."

"Physically, I've always been normal, though I've actually been working on a crazy theory if you want to hear it." I say tentatively. I was about to explain the alternate universe theory to a fictional character, which could turn out really disastrous depending on his reaction.

Kabuto nods. "Go ahead."

"Okay. There's this scientific theory called the multiverse theory that states anything that can happen, will happen and that there are infinite alternate universes that are being created constantly based off of different paths people take in life, historical events, or even different evolutionary factors, such as chakra existence. What if, I accidentally travelled from my own universe to another by accident." I explain. Lt. Colonel Samantha Carter would be so proud of me right now.

"And in this universe, I am a fictional character, I assume." he theorizes.

I groan. "Aw, geez I hoped you had forgotten that I said anything about that. I guess I thought your English was worse than it actually is and you wouldn't understand me."

"I'm fluent in Western Common. I spent years in Earth territory as a child. It's almost as familiar to me as my native tongue. Though I do occasionally have issues understanding your word choices. English must be a special dialect of Western Common." he answers, smirking.

"You're a clever bastard, you know that, right?"

"I've been told that several times, yes. And you're avoiding the question." observes Kabuto.

Curses, foiled again!

"You..may be a character of a popular manga series, yes." I mutter in defeat.

"Oh? Is that so?" he asks. Dear lord he's loving this. It's creepy and endearing at the same time.

"...yeah. I'm actually not super comfortable with the fact that I mentioned this."

"Let me guess, you don't want to reveal future events to someone who may have an impact on this world?" he theorizes.

"Well, that and I actually don't know anything past a certain point. I've heard how the story ends and a couple of events but to be honest it's been at least a decade since I even glanced at the source material. I kind of grew out of it. It's extremely long and honestly I don't really care for fighting stories. The characters were interesting at least." I confess.

That was a half truth. I had watched a good chunk of the anime recently as well and I knew that the man sitting in front of me would eventually become a major player in the Fourth Great Ninja War. If I could somehow stop him from going off the edge, maybe Madara would find some other schmuck to bring him back to life.

"I see. Well I'd appreciate it if you told me what you know regardless. I'd hate to have to turn this relationship hostile. I've never had such a willing subject before." Kabuto was smiling, but his eyes held a hostile gleam.

I shudder, and he notices, his smile growing darker.

"Are you afraid, Marie-chan? I've been nothing but kind to you. Is there something you're hiding from me?"

I visibly gulp. "Um, no not really. I just know what kind of person you are." Shit. Shit. Shit. Why did I say that? I mentally kick myself.

I have issues with lying. I am a terrible liar. Honesty was drilled into my brain as a child and even though I was able to lie as a kid; little stuff like chores and bad grades and stuff. I always ALWAYS got caught. So as an adult, my ability to actually tell a lie convincingly was outweighed by my desire to tell the truth. The guilt always got to me.

Now that guilt was literally going to kill me.

Kabuto laughs his evil (and much less cute) laugh. "Really, now? So you've gotten me all figured out, have you, Marie-chan?"

"Are you asking me to psychoanalyze you? I mean I probably could but I don't think you want to hear it. We just met, after all. I think it's a bit early in our relationship for us to have the tragic psyche conversation. I could psychoanalyze Sasuke instead. He's a lot more fun."

"Hah! Sasuke-kun is a bit of a head case, isn't he?" Kabuto relaxes slightly, but there was still a sinister look on his face that worried me.

"Oh, you have no idea. Kid's going to alienate everyone who ever cared about him. I'm sure you've already predicted that for yourself, have you not?"

"Of course. I am the boy's medic after all and that includes his mental health. Anyway. I hate to cut this lovely conversation short, but you're not my only test subject on this base."

I mock gasp "Are you telling me that you're seeing other subjects? What will the neighbors think?"

"We may have known each other for a short time, but I think I've figured out a few things about you already. You're scared. I can tell because humor is your shield." he observes.

"Wouldn't you be if you were me? I'm nobody. I have nothing."

Kabuto's sinister aura fades. He stares at me with a blank face, and says, "Then you and I have something in common."

With that, he leaves me with my thoughts.

Kabuto may be a very very dangerous man, but I desperately wanted to befriend him. Not only would he be a valuable ally in getting me home, maybe I'd be able to save him from himself.

He needed someone to tell him he was worth something, that he didn't have to add anything else to his skill set to be useful. Maybe I could become important enough to him for that to mean something. The only thing I could do at the moment was build up his trust.

I could actually save a ton of lives if he's the only one capable of pulling off the Resurrection Jutsu and I didn't even have to become a ninja extraordinaire.

I take off my new glasses, put them on the bedside table and plop my head down on the pillow and stare at the ceiling. I needed a plan, which I named Operation Friendship. (lameness intentional. Go cheese or go home dammit)

Step one, be a good little test subject and engage the target in deep conversation. Gain his trust in the time allotted.

Step two. Once he starts talking about experimentation, depending on the situation and trust level there are four options.

A: If trust is gained completely: Tell the entire truth. Get him to help. Go home. See baby cat. Cry.

B: Friends, but trust is not fully gained: find ways around treatments. Steal knock out pills. Kidnap him and tell the truth once he is sufficiently restrained.

C: If merely acquaintances: incapacitate and escape.

D: if all else fails: seduce him.

Operation Friendship is go!

* * *

edited 7 May 2017


	3. Awkward

Author's note: I'm having too much fun with this story to stop now. I was worried Kabuto was OOC so I looked up his wiki page for guidance and luckily according to the personality entry, so far I've kept him mostly in character. He's super hard to write because he's naturally polite and kind but at the same time he has a gigantic cruel streak especially when it comes to achieving his goals. Boy's a contradicting nightmare. But I love writing him all the same.

Warning: Cliché romance plot lines and innuendos ahead. I felt the need to turn up the heat a little bit. It's gonna be the slowest of slow burns as far as working toward an ACTUAL healthy romantic relationship though. Strap in folks, it's gonna be a bumpy ride.

* * *

 **Kabuto**

"I am nobody...I have nothing."

Those words resonate in Kabuto's mind as he locks the door to his newest subject's quarters.

Those were the words he always used to describe himself. Words he used to propel himself forward in his research. Kabuto had the distinct feeling that Marie chose those words deliberately.

It was true at that moment she literally had nothing of value and was nobody of importance in this world besides her strange existence.

But Kabuto wasn't stupid. He knew that Marie had foreknowledge of his world and major events and people. She chose those words to send a message. But the message she sent had a very ambiguous meaning depending on her current intentions.

If she wanted to be friendly, she could have meant it as a sympathetic gesture of good faith. She had said she knew what kind of person he was. If she had hostile intentions, she could have used those words as a way of displaying her knowledge. She knew the weak point in his personality, his desire to be unique and the lengths he was willing to go to achieve his goals.

Either way, she had made a mistake. He didn't make a habit of befriending his test subjects; he preferred to keep himself emotionally distant from his work. If she wanted to antagonize him, she was definitely playing with fire. He would not tolerate belittlement from a powerless girl. He had to keep his distance and force her to abandon whatever she was plotting.

Perhaps he'd ask Sasuke-kun for tips on how to alienate potential friends during his next check-up.

Kabuto heads to Orochimaru-sama's office with his completed report. He intentionally left out any information about her clairvoyant abilities but gave detailed information about her lack of chakra network. That way she'd be interesting enough to remain a test subject but not interesting enough for Orochimaru to supervise the study in person, leaving the foreknowledge Kabuto's for the taking.

He figures she'd be easy to break if he pushed hard enough. The girl was an open book. If he plays his cards correctly she'd tell him everything she knows and he wouldn't even have to resort to torture.

He'd have a much easier time getting information from her through more...pleasurable means. In the little time he had known Marie-chan, he concluded that she was a passionate individual who would completely trust a close friend or more likely a lover with her deepest darkest secrets.

Seduction espionage was never his forte, but he's had success whenever he'd used seductive methods to gain information.

The main problem with seduction, of course, was the chance of developing actual feelings for the target. Kabuto excelled in keeping people at a distance in the emotional sense. This girl would be no different.

* * *

 **Marie**

I feek dirty. Literally. Sure, my quarters had a shower and I would love to use it but I wouldn't be truly clean unless I had a change of clothes. And clean underwear.

So I sit in my filth until someone remembered to bring me clothes. The door was locked, so I couldn't go search for clothing myself.

It had been a few hours since I started Operation Friendship and I had yet to make any progress. Mostly because I had yet to see my target since the operation began.

Finally, the door clicks open and Kabuto walks in carrying a plate of food.

"Good evening, Marie-chan." he says, placing the tray on the table.

"It's evening?"

"That it is. How are you feeling?" he asks. I noted that Kabuto was in polite hospitality mode rather than the maniacal mad scientist mode he was in earlier today.

"Dirty. I feel dirty. Is it too much to ask for a change of clothing? Underwear included, please? No purple bows."

Kabuto smiles. "I think I can arrange that. I'll be right back. Eat your dinner while I'm gone. You need your strength." He bows politely and leaves the room, leaving me with my plain ramen and orange juice. Such a weird combination.

The ramen was actually delicious, but then again, if you've been fed through a feeding tube for a bit and hadn't eaten in awhile, anything was delicious.

Kabuto returns with a pair of black sweatpants and a t-shirt.

"I'm sorry I only have boxers as far as underwear goes, I hope that's alright." he says as he handed me the clothes. My hero!

"Dude clean underwear is clean underwear. I'm not complaining at all. I'm gonna go and shower now if that's alright."

"That's fine...I'll wait here. I need to run a few tests on you once you're clean." says Kabuto, taking a seat and pulling out files from the drawer of his desk.

I retreat to the bathroom. It was actually pretty swanky for a secret hideout bathroom. Luckily there was already shampoo and conditioner set aside for me along with soap and even a loofah. I shed my clothes and sat under the water for a few minutes in pure bliss.

Until I reach for one of the bottles. Shit. Which one was shampoo? The labels were in Japanese. I turn off the water and wrap a towel around myself and slowly slid the door open a crack.

Kabuto was still at his desk, too wrapped up in his work to notice the door opening.

"Pssst. Yakushi."

Kabuto glances up from his work and at me, completely unfazed by my state of dress. Must be a medic thing.

"Need something, Marie-chan?" he asks.

I grab the bottles from the shower and thrust them out towards his face.

"I can't read this. Which one is shampoo and which one is conditioner?"

"Oh, I forgot you can't read Eastern Common, Marie-chan." He laughs. I glared. He specifieswhich one was which and afterwards I slunk back to finish my shower in shame.

The clothes he gave me fit me alright as far as the shirt went, it was extra large and fit me like a tent but the pants were too long and narrow in the waist Luckily the boxers and pants were made of enough stretchy material for me to wiggle myself into them.

I don't consider myself fat, but I do have a little bit of extra curves around my stomach and thighs. The ass doesn't count as large because modern American beauty standards glorified women with well endowed asses. Plus it's genetic it's not like I can get rid of it. I just wish I had boobs to match.

Once I had dressed I left the bathroom smelling less like ass and more like soap. I gingerly pick up my dirty clothes with my fingertips and held them out to Kabuto.

"Do you mind...burning these?" I ask.

"I'd...rather not touch that. Put them in the basket next to the sink and eventually they'll be washed." Kabuto grimaces.

I hold my dirty clothes at an arm's length and toss them into the basket with perfect accuracy.

"Alright, I'm going to need to do a full physical on you, so I'm going to need you to sit on the bed for me." orders Kabuto.

I did as I was told. "I've never had a ninja physical, is it any different than a non ninja one?"

"Well, for one, it's more hands on as far as checking vitals go. Though I'm not sure if it'll work on you so I brought civilian tools just in case this doesn't work."explains Kabuto. He rolls over in front of me and starts signing rapidly until his hands were a glowing green.

"This isn't going to be ridiculously intimate is it? You don't actually have to touch my skin to check anything right?" I ask nervously.

He chuckles softly and shakes his head as he places his hands lightly on my chest, presumably to check my pulse. After a few seconds he frowns and his hands stopp glowing.

Kabuto mutters something in Japanese under his breath and stands up to open another drawer, pulling out a stethoscope. He returns and sits next to me on the bed instead of returning to his chair.

"I'll have to reach your back when I check your breathing so this position will be easier for me since we're on the same elevation level." he explains.

"Oh, if you wanted to get in bed with me all you had to do was ask. No need for fancy explanations." I croon jokingly.

Kabuto smirks seductively in response and puts the stethoscope in his ears. As he presses the stethoscope bell to my chest he leans in close.

"Careful. I may take that as an invitation." he murmurs softly near my ear and withdraws to a safer distance afterwards.

I blush slightly and give him a disapproving look. "I never invited you."

"Ah, but you said-"

"I was joking!"

"And I was playing along. Turn around for me, please."

I huff and turn around. "You were so not playing along. You saw a opportunity to make me uncomfortable and since you're a sadistic bastard, you took it." I was totally bluffing. That whisper stunt he pulled sent shivers down my spine. Not the creepy kind. The sexy kind.

He ignores me and places the stethoscope on my back, instructing me to breathe in and out slowly.

"You know, a person's heart rate goes up if they're experiencing fear, discomfort," he pauses and rests his face at the crook of my neck near my ear, "or arousal." he whispers in a lower voice, placing a light kiss at the nape of my neck. With that he gets off the bed and puts the stethoscope back in the drawer and pulls out a blood pressure pump.

* * *

After that, the physical was relatively mundane and normal. I tried to stay silent during the rest of the ordeal.

If Kabuto was trying to make me uncomfortable with his presence, he succeed by dialing up the sexual tension from a comfortable 6 up to a stifling 12.

Once he finished filling out charts with the results from the physical he glances over at me and chuckles.

"What's so funny?"

"You've barely said a word since the incident with the stethoscope. Did I make you that uncomfortable?" he asks.

"I just...wasn't expecting you to drop your professionalism just to play a mean joke on me. Kinda hurt my feelings, y'know?" That and now I want to climb you like a tree. I think.

"I see. Any way I could make it up to you?"

"Hm. I'll think about it. Is dinner and a movie too much to ask for? Maybe a book or ten so I'm not so bored in here?"

'Or you could finish what you started and just bang me' demands the slutty voice in my head. I hurriedly suppressed that part of my brain before I said it out loud.

Shut up, slut voice. I KNOW we hadn't gotten laid in years, but we can't just sleep with any attractive man that shows slight interest in us.

"I think I can arrange something. I truly am sorry." Kabuto bows in farewell and left me alone for the night.

"Yeah, well the books had better be in English. And the movie better not suck!" I yell after the door shut behind him.

* * *

Author's note: And chapter three is finished. I had a ton of fun with this chapter.  
To recap: Both of them have agendas involving using the other for their own gain. Kabuto is planning on seducing information about the future from his target. Marie just wants to go home and she thinks Kabuto can help her because dammit if he can pull off raising the dead he find a way to send her home.

I have yet to get a review for this, and that is kinda disappointing but TWO people are actually following this terrible story so I call that a win. But still, I look forward to getting feedback from you guys. Until next time!

EDIT: 4/20/2017: Tense changes


	4. Plan B

Author's note: so I finally got that AO3 invitation, so you can also read my story there under the name GracelessLamb.

* * *

 **Marie**

It had been two days since The Incident with the stethoscope and the hormones and as promised, Kabuto brought me a pile of novels in my language of varying genres. The one at the top was, of course "Icha Icha Paradise".

"Wow, Yakushi. You brought me porn. I...don't know what to say." I comment, raising my eyebrows at Kabuto who shrugs in response.

"Jiraiya-sama's books are quite popular. I would've thought you'd like to read them for yourself. I believe he wrote this translation as well."

"Well Kakashi is reading them all the time, I think I'll trust his choice in literature despite the fact it was written by a pervy middle aged man who peeps in women's bath houses for 'research'." I say, drawing air quotes around the word "research."

"Hold up, didn't you fight him once? I vaguely remember you fighting a sannin. Like I said, I don't really care much for action scenes."

"I've never had the pleasure of facing Jiraiya-sama in battle, but I did fight Tsunade-sama before she was named Hokage." Kabuto clarifies.

"I'm assuming she kicked your ass. I love her so much."

"I..was defeated, yes. I'm assuming Tsunade-sama is your favorite Sannin." guesses Kabuto.

"Tsunade is the best. When I was sixteen, I-"

"It's Tsunade-sama or Tsunade-hime, Marie-chan. You should really respect your heroes by titling them appropriately." interrups Kabuto.

I glare at him. "You don't get all pissy when I call you Yakushi with no honorific"

"You use my surname as a sign of respect, do you not?"asks Kabuto.

"Mm, actually I just like the way it sounds and to be honest I'm still not entirely comfortable knowing that this world is real. You're never referred to by your surname in the story, so that's why I use it. I'm separating the man from the character in a way. I know it's weird."

"It makes sense, I suppose. You don't use terms of respect in your universe?"

"Well, yes and no. They still use them in certain parts of the world. Not where I'm from, though." I explain.

Kabuto nods. "I see. Your culture seems very different from mine, Marie-chan. Perhaps one day you'd like to discuss it over dinner sometime?"

"...are you asking me out on a date, Yakushi or am I interpreting that wrong?"

"I recall you asking me to give you a nice dinner and a movie to make up for taking advantage of you. To be more accurate, you're the one who asked me out on a date, not the other way around." said Kabuto, wearing a smug look on his face.

"So, not a date then." I felt my cheeks reddening.

"Has anyone ever told you that you're extremely easy to fluster, Marie-chan? Personally, I find it quite...adorable." Kabuto was in full smug mode.

"Hmph. You're such a douche sometimes, ya know?"

"I meant it as a compliment." Kabuto says.

"You said it in your 'I'm better than you' voice. Anything in that voice just sounds so condescending, compliment or not." I clarify.

Kabuto sighs. "Sorry...let me put it another way. I find it very attractive. Better?"

"I suppose. It's less demeaning." Inwardly I may have squealed in delight. Outwardly, my cheeks burn redder.

"I guess that's as much of a thank you as I'm going to get. I need to leave; I have a lot of work to do, so be thinking about what you want to eat and let me know during my evening visit, alright?" Kabuto closes the distance between us and lightly kisses me on the cheek. "Ja ne, Marie-chan."

Then he leaves the room, leaving me suspicious as hell.

All the culture talk had sparked a realization about Kabuto's personality. Eastern culture is a lot more taboo about physical displays of affection and respect and all that jazz.

So how come Kabuto was so comfortable with heavy innuendos and a blatant sign of physical affection when at the same time, he was so anal about using proper honorifics?

It didn't add up unless he was plotting something. I knew that he wanted certain information out of me, and that he knew I wasn't willing to reveal anything about the future.

Suddenly, an epiphany hit me like a freight train. Dear god he was trying to seduce me. This was his way of trying to get information out of me. Hm. Gotta give him style points for going the sexy route.

I pondered about what to do.  
I could either  
A) Immediately call him out. Probably not the smartest thing to do. If he knows I know what he's doing he could make my life a lot more miserable. OR  
B) Go along with it, let him pamper me, get laid. Then, when the time comes, and he believes he's gained my trust and he starts his interrogation...uhhh lie? Maybe. As I said before I'm not very good with the whole lying thing. I suppose I'd cross that bridge when I have to.

Knowing Kabuto, he probably had a plan B, so I definitely wouldn't let my guard down.

I settle down on my bed with a copy of the first Make Out Paradise book and I was hooked by the first chapter. The pervert actually knew how to write a compelling story, and surprisingly the sex scenes were actually super tasteful, who would've thought?

I was well into the second book when the door opens and in whooshes a new face.

He was in his mid teens, with spiky blue-black hair shaped like a chicken's butt. His face was the stuff of fangirl legends. The one...the only...

"My...name...is Sasuke Uchiha. It is nice to meet you." he says.

...Kabuto's Plan B.

* * *

Author's note: This chapter is shorter than the others because I, also had an epiphany after writing Marie's epiphany. It was time to bring in the Uchiha. Favorite, review (still not a one, but I'm churning these chapters out daily so I'm not really surprised) and enjoy the story!

EDITED: 4/20/2017: Tense changes


	5. Enter the Uchiha

**Kabuto: a few hours earlier**

"Hey, Sasuke-kun?"

"...what?"

"How is your Western Common?"

"...why?"

Kabuto smirks. The boy really loves his one word answers.

"Because, I have an assignment for you. I have this test subject, pretty thing with no chakra whatsoever, who has some very interesting information about future events."

"And?"

"And I want to know what she knows."

"What does this have to do with me?" asks Sasuke.

"You see, I already have a plan set in motion to get that information. What I need for you to do, is practice your conversational Western Common with her."

"...and why would I want to do that?" demands Sasuke.

Kabuto scoffs. The boy was a selfish prick with a one track mind. But he knew Sasuke couldn't refuse what he was about to offer.

"Because, dear Sasuke-kun. She knows a lot about Itachi-san. How he lives. What he's done. And...she may even know how he dies. But the problem is, she's very very sensitive. She won't reveal this information to just anyone."

"What exactly do you need me to do?" says Sasuke impatiently.

"It's quite simple, really. Learn from her. Befriend her. Earn her trust. She may tell you what you want to know if you are patient."

"And what if she doesn't?" asks Sasuke.

"Don't worry about that. If both of us play our parts correctly, we'll get exactly what we want. So. Are you in, Sasuke-kun?"

Sasuke hesitates, clearly giving it some serious thought.

"I'm in."

Kabuto grins. "Excellent. You meet her today."

After Sasuke leaves his office, Kabuto feels a bit more secure. Now he had a back up plan.

He'd already set up the foundation of his main plan. The seduction of Marie-chan was proving to be quite enjoyable. Already she was opening up about her own world and he hadn't even gotten her into his bed yet. He had to be careful and pace himself so the relationship would progress naturally or else she would definitely be suspicious.

He didn't believe her to be stupid in the least bit. She was actually quite intelligent in his opinion. But, she had proven, to his delight, to be easily flustered by his close proximity. He could definitely use that to his advantage.

Marie-chan was an impulsive creature as well as one that was easily distracted. She frequently said whatever was on her mind the moment it popped into her head despite the consequences and social taboos, his polar opposite. He preferred to stay silent and consider his word choices before he said anything.

Admittedly, he did find her beautiful , she had giant expressive blue eyes that displayed every single emotion she experiences with perfect clarity. Though, he found the information she potentially possessed even more beautiful.

* * *

 **Marie**

You know that guy in middle school that you had a crush on for the longest time and you wanted to date him soooo badly because he was sooo hot but dating him would be impossible because he was fictional?

That was Sasuke for me. Now here I am, 25 years old staring at Sasuke Uchiha in the flesh and yeah I still think he's quite pretty but...now he's a child. And I've definitely outgrown him.

"...huh. I'd thought you'd be taller." I say. For the record, I am almost 5'3. Sasuke is roughly about two inches taller.

The kid stares at me.

"I'm sorry, I'm a little star struck. You're kind of famous where I'm from." I explain.

"I see. What is...your name?" he asks. I get the feeling that he doesn't speak English very well. Poor baby.

"My name is Marie. It is nice to meet you, Sasuke-kun." I say, adding the -kun for the annoyance factor.

"I was...sent here to learn." he says.

"Learn...what?" I ask. Poor kid. He probably memorized what he was going to say before he left.

"Your...language." he answers.

"Oh is that so? Well, Sasuke-kun, you and I are going to have a lot of fun together. Have a seat. Let's talk."

* * *

 **Sasuke**

After spending several hours with his new "sensei" as she has demanded to be referred to as, Sasuke theorizes that Marie-sensei may in fact, be one of his former teammates, most likely Naruto, in disguise.

On second thought, he realizes, Naruto is too stupid to learn another language. Instead it was probably Kakashi-sensei pretending to be Naruto pretending to be a girl named Marie who only knows how to speak Western Common.

He spends the session pretending to barely understand her language, as he was instructed to do by Kabuto.

"If she thinks you can't understand her, she will let her guard down and ramble, more to herself than you. Just be silent and listen to her."

The girl is quite enthusiastic with the concept of teaching "one of the most popular characters of all time" her language.

"You know, I never understood why you left the village, especially after what Orochimaru did to the Sandaime and how he ruined the Chūnin Exams. I mean, you had super strong people at home who would help you get stronger as well but what do I know?" she says, more to herself than to him.

Sasuke stays silent, as he was instructed, but also out of shock. How does this girl know his entire life story?

"Now, I get you wanting to kill your brother, I really do. But honestly what is that going to accomplish? It's not gonna bring your clan back. Hell, I don't think it'd even bring you any closure." she continues.

Definitely Kakashi, he thinks.

When he reports back to Kabuto's office and tells him his theory, the medic-nin laughs.

"Trust me, if Marie-chan was secretly Kakashi in disguise, I would know. She is incapable of producing chakra. There is no way she isn't who she appears to be." he says.

"Then, how does she know so much?" Sasuke asks.

Kabuto smirks suggestively. "That is a secret between me and Marie-chan."

"..I see."

Sasuke leaves the office more confused than he was when he arrived.

Kabuto is right about one thing, she has to know something about Itachi and his fate.

* * *

Author's Note: Someone stop me. I can't stop writing this story, whenever I stop, more comes to me. I decided to try and use present tense in this last chapter and I kinda like how it flows. I may continue to use it. I promise this is the last chapter I will post today. It's been fun guys! Read, review, favorite, follow, etc.

EDIT: 4/20/17 Tense & Style changes


	6. Food and Culture appreciation

Author's note: I GOT A REVIEW! I GOT A REVIEW! I LOVE YOU! I'm glad you're enjoying my stupid story.

Nicknamer: ehehehehehehe dude if anyone needs therapy, it's the Bastard Squad. We have a guy who invades bodies, a guy who strives to be the "perfect being" by any means necessary and a kid who just wants to kill his brother (at first *sigh*) I do plan on bringing in Orochimaru eventually but at the moment Kabuto is keeping her away from him since he thinks she knows something to help him surpass his master. (Spoiler: She doesn't since in canon Orochimaru is still alive I think) and yeah this story is an exercise in relationship and character building rather than an actual plot, which will probably be predictable as hell. In the good way, of course.

* * *

 **Marie**

Kabuto pays me a visit with my evening meal a few hours after the visit with Sasuke. He places the food on the table and sits down in his usual spot.

"So tell me, how was your visit with Sasuke-kun ? I hope he behaved himself. The boy can be difficult to converse with in his native tongue. I can't imagine how awkward he must be conversing in a different language." he says.

I look up from the third volume of "Icha Icha Paradise" and roll my eyes.

"I'm really not a teacher. I considered it once upon a time but once I started education classes in college I realized it wasn't for me and dropped out. I dunno what you want me to do with him. Yeah sure he definitely needs a friend but we can barely understand each other." I say, waving the book in Kabuto's general direction.

"I figured you wanted someone else to talk to besides me." says Kabuto. I raise my eyebrows in response.

"So you send me Sasuke 'Monosyllable' Uchiha? I thought you were smart, Yakushi." I scoff. "It's like talking to a wall to be honest."

Kabuto chuckles. "Well, honestly it's more for his benefit than yours. I'm sure you've noticed that Sasuke-kun has some issues." he says.

"That's an understatement." I close my book and pull up the second chair and plop myself down in it. Today's meal was ramen(again) and water.

"You know, ramen isn't really that nutritional. Can you get me something like catfish or chicken thighs too? Something with protein?" I ask.

Kabuto sighs. "You refuse to eat any vegetables, so at the moment this is all I can give you until you give me specifics on what you like to eat and I've never heard of a catfish. Is it a fish shaped like a cat?"

"Well, they have whiskers. It's a Southern delicacy. Very delicious when cooked any way. Fried, cooked grilled..." I say, while attempting to not drop ramen from the chop sticks, a tool I hadn't really had much experience using.

Kabuto nods. "I see. Speaking of dinner, is that what you want for our 'date'?" he asks.

I laugh. "Nonono. My mom would always cook that sort of thing so I don't consider it a fancy meal. What I really want, is Italian food, something I'm not entirely sure we could replicate."

"Is Italia one of your universe's countries?" asks Kabuto.

I shake my head. "The country's called Italy, and they make excellent pasta, kinda like ramen except wider and there's more variety in shapes and types. Like I said I don't think Western style food exists in this universe."

Kabuto smiles. "Well, actually the areas beyond Earth and Sand have a very different style of cuisine than the land of Fire."

"There are areas beyond Earth and Sand?" I ask.

"Of course, the Five Great Nations are only one continent out of several." he says.

"Well...I guess that makes sense. What are the shinobi like on the other continents?" I ask.

"It's a bit different over there. They call us 'knights' and 'mages' over on the western continent, among other things. The fighting styles are vastly different as well." explains Kabuto.

"Hm. That actually makes a lot of sense. So over there you'd be considered a 'white mage' or a 'warlock'?" I ask.

Kabuto nods. "I've actually studied white magic and I've applied a lot of their concepts to my own medical ninjutsu. Earth was once occupied by the Western Continent, hence why they still speak the language, albeit the accent is different."

"Fascinating. My country was actually a colony of a country called England, hence why English is still our main language hundreds of years later."

"You really enjoy history and culture, don't you, Marie-chan?" asks Kabuto with a smirk.

"I'm in school majoring in history, did I not tell you? Eventually I want to get my masters degree in Library Science." I say.

"A librarian, hm? Aren't you a bit too talkative for that?" Kabuto smugly raises an eyebrow.

I glare. "I'm only talkative with you because I have nothing better to do. I'm usually the type of girl that prefers books to people."

"Seems that we have yet another thing in common, Marie-chan." says Kabuto.

I finish my ramen, and place my chopsticks in the empty bowl.

"If only there was a way we could make fettuccine alfredo or tortellini. Hell, I'd even be happy with a pepperoni pizza." I lament.

"Hmmm. I think I can arrange something. It'll take some time, since this hideout is far from any village. Perhaps next week. In the meantime I'll make sure there's more poultry available. You prefer thighs over the breast, I'm guessing?"

I nod. "Chicken thighs grilled with some spices sounds amazing. Not too spicy, though."

"I'll keep that in mind." Kabuto stands up and takes the tray from the table, leaning over to kiss the top of my head. "Sleep well, Marie-chan." With that, he left me alone.

I sigh and flop onto my bed. Stupid Kabuto and his stupid seduction methods. All he wants from me is stupid information that may or may not help him in surpassing his stupid boss.

If only the stupid boy realized that he was already a genius and strong shinobi by his own talent. Sadly, he both lacked the confidence in his own abilities and had an abundance of confidence in his ability to obtain means of power.

If only I could get through to him, but he's way to far up his own ass to listen to me, a girl who is nothing to him but another way of obtaining his ultimate goal.

Sure, he was pursuing a physically intimate relationship with me under the pretense that there was an emotional connection between us.

But in reality, that emotional connection was forged with ulterior motives on both sides therefore tainting the genuine feelings that usually developed in such relationships.

Ugh, so complicated. Why can't these things ever be easy. I couldn't tell him that I knew what he was up to right now. He's so much more powerful than me.

I turn over on my belly and scream into my pillow.

* * *

Author's note: I'm gonna stop here since it seems fitting to stop here. Next chapter will be much longer since that will be The Date chapter. At long last. This was kind of a transition to that chapter. I'll admit writing this is an exercise for me to write my term papers that are due in the next week or so. If I can write ten thousand words of this stupid story in a week, I can finish two ten page papers in a few days. So that's all for now, folks. Review, follow and favorite!

EDIT: 4/20/2017: Rock is now Earth. Style changes


	7. The First Date

Author's note: Damn it. So I had half the chapter written and I accidentally deleted it, so I had to rewrite the entire thing from memory so now it's not as good as it could've been and arghhhh.

Anyway. Thank you to Tabue2000 and lilxrose for reviewing this time around. I love you guys

I'll be raising the rating to M just to be safe because...well you'll see.

* * *

 **Marie**

Several days passed and I had gotten into a routine: Wake up, breakfast with Kabuto, Reading time, lunch and English class with Sasuke, more reading time, dinner with Kabuto, shower, sleep. Lather rinse repeat.

Sasuke was an excellent language student, thanks to his Sharingan. His vocabulary had expanded and he was able to copy pronunciation from me with his Sharingan, which was totally unfair. He had obtained a standard Midwestern American accent, with a slight Southern twang courtesy of yours truly. I intentionally taught him certain words in the dialect of my relatives from Arkansas. His "what" sounded like "whuuut" and his "right" sounded like "rahhhhhyt" in addition to adding "y'all" to his vocabulary. Honestly it made me want to giggle every time he used those words. Yes. I'm terrible.

Speaking of terrible people, it had been a week since I was propositioned a nice dinner prepared by the handsome and talented (but still terrible and mean) Yakushi Kabuto. I suppose he had to plan every single detail because this event would set his plan to get into my pants for the sake of informative power (and the nice addition of getting laid consistently for awhile, I suppose)

"Marie-chan, would you like to have dinner with me at my apartment tomorrow evening?" he asks me during dinner one evening.

"Don't we have dinner together every evening?" I quip while playing with my noodles.

Kabuto sighs. "Yes, but as a researcher it is my responsibility that my study subjects are well fed every day. Even though I owe you a nice dinner as penance I also want to have a dinner as equals rather than subject and researcher."

"Wow, Yakushi, that was like soooo deep." I say in a sarcastic tone. "So do I gotta dress up for this or no? Coz I hate to break it to you but my wardrobe consists of only large t-shirts and sweatpants that I'm pretty sure are from your closet."

"It's just going to be me and you and as you said, we do this every day. It's not as if I'm taking you to see Orochimaru-sama." says Kabuto, blatantly dodging my other question about where he got my clothes.

"Speaking of which, am I ever going to meet...Orochimaru...sama?"

"Not for awhile. Orochimaru-sama usually doesn't involve himself in the observational portion of research. For now, I have you all to myself." he says, winking suggestively.

"I see. Yeah sure, sounds like fun."

I finish my dinner in silence. Tomorrow was going to be interesting.

* * *

 **Roughly 24 hours later**

In preparation, I scrubbed every inch of my body. I may not have any makeup to make myself look more appealing but dammit, I could be super clean instead.

I opted to pull my hair into a half up, half down style, my standard dating hairstyle. I stare at myself in the mirror and frankly I look like a extremely clean homeless person.

The door opens and Kabuto walks in wearing a simple black shirt and some very nice fitting jeans. His hair was pulled back in his usual standard ponytail but it was slightly damp from a recent shower.

"Ready to go or should I give you a few minutes?" he asks, flashing me a rare genuinely pleasant smile.

"I'm ready. Let's get out of here." I say.

Kabuto holds out his hand and I take it. He entwines our fingers together and leads me out the door into the hallway.

As we walk, his thumb traces light circles around the back of my hand, causing pleasant shivers down my spine that I promptly tell myself to ignore. Too soon.

"So...do you ever get lost in this place? It seems that you would." It was actually my first time leaving my room since I arrived here. To be honest I actually don't mind not being allowed to wander the hideout because the place is freaking huge with rows and rows of turns and doors that all look the same and if I tried to get out, I'd probably end up lost.

"Actually when I first moved here, I'd keep a map on me at all times. Eventually I memorized it." he answers.

We walk in silence for a few minutes. Kabuto stops at random door that has a nameplate written in kanji that I assume says "Yakushi Kabuto". He pulls out a key ring with his free hand and fumbles with the set until he finds the right one. He unlocks the door and leads me inside, giving my hand an affectionate squeeze before releasing me and closing the door behind us.

He turns on the lights and I take a quick look around his apartment. It's small, but not as small as the place I currently reside in. The kitchen is covered in beautiful black marble with a mini bar complete with built in bar stools that face the living area, which has a 90s era big screen tv with an accompanying VCR player and a couch that seems ideal for...*ahem* moving on.

The walls of the living area are covered in shelves of books of varying sizes and shapes. A hallway with several doors that I assume lead to Kabuto's bedroom and bathroom are connected to the living area. The entire apartment was spotless and honestly I was kind of jealous of the amount of cleanliness this man had achieved.

"Your apartment is very...Western, Kabuto. I never would've guessed." I say.

"I suppose all my time traveling in the west made an impression on my interior decorating preferences." says Kabuto as he walks towards the kitchen, which is abnormally absent of any sort of food.

"So..where's the food?" I ask as I follow him into the kitchen.

Kabuto opens the fridge and pulls out a giant pizza crust.

"I figure it'd be fun if we made dinner together." he says.

My mouth waters. I hadn't had cheese since I got here.

We sit down on the bar stools and spend the next half hour preparing the pizza, which by my demands (since this pizza is supposedly an extremely late apology for a mean joke, such a flimsy excuse in hindsight) would only consist of light tomato sauce, an excess amount of cheese, and pepperoni.

"So..my family likes to put this super sweet tropical fruit called a pineapple on their pizza. It's super weird and super gross." I say as we're spreading the tomato sauce.

"I guess I'll take your word for it, but you may be the most sensitive eater I've ever met, Marie-chan."

"Oh, psh. I just can't stand certain food textures. Well, most food textures. My gag reflex is sensitive."

Kabuto raises his eyebrows. "Is that so? Or maybe you're just too afraid to try new things due to some sort of childhood trauma."

"Are you seriously psychoanalyzing my eating habits right now? You're such a nerd, Yakushi." I say while shoving him playfully with my shoulder.

"So I'm right, then?"

"Okay fine, yeah. My parents were so adamant about me eating vegetables that I developed a gag reflex and never got over it. Happy?" I growl.

"You poor thing, so tragic." Kabuto says, his voice laced with sarcasm.

"Well, both of them are nurses so nutrition is a big thing. I'm kind of the family shame." I confess.

"Is that so? I'm assuming for something other than your terrible eating habits."

"Well...yeah. But I'd rather not talk about my failures as a person right now."

"Fair enough."

After that conversation, there was an awkward silence during the placement of the cheese and pepperoni. Once the pizza was in the oven, I attempted conversation again.

"So...do you have anything to drink?"

"Alcoholic or non-alcoholic?" he asks.

"Non. I'm not much of a drinker. My tolerance isn't great."

Kabuto pours me a glass of milk and a glass of wine for himself.

"Do you drink often?" I ask.

"It really depends on my mood." answers Kabuto, before taking a sip from his glass.

"Date's going that bad, huh? Damn shouldn't had brought up the family. I've driven you to drink."

Kabuto chuckles. "No, no, this is more for my nerves. Nothing to do with you."

"I make you...nervous? That totally has something to do with me."

"I'm not very good at socializing or relationships in general. I'm way too work oriented. Sometimes I feel I need to loosen up if I want to make connections with others."

"Meaning...? What exactly?" I ask.

"Nothing at all, Marie-chan." he murmurs, slowly inching closer. Here it comes. Don't screw it up. I also inch closer in preparation. Kabuto puts his hand on my cheek, and the other around the small of my back, pulling me to him. Our foreheads touch. He leans closer, about to close the distance between us-

"BEEP! BEEP!" We jump apart in surprise.

"Fucking a!" I curse, while Kabuto gets the pizza out of the oven, placing it on the stove to cool.

"It should be too hot to eat for a bit, do you want to move to the couch?" asks Kabuto.

"Uhm, yeah sure. That's fine."

We sit on opposite sides of the couch. No words are said. We stare at each other.

I finally break the silence.

"What..was that just now?"

Kabuto smiles. "I think you know."

"Well, I want you to say it. Just so we're all on the same page and there are no misunderstandings."

"I was just about to kiss you."

"...why?"

"Because I wanted to. Obviously."

"Do you still want to?"

"Hm..not sure. The moment may have passed." Kabuto muses as he inches closer to me.

"I dunno, I think I'm still feeling it." He's nose to nose with me at this point. I throw my arms around his neck and he puts both of his hands on either side of my face and finally *finally* our lips meet.

Despite the knowledge that Kabuto was only kissing me because he had an evil master plan involving killing his master with the information I possessed, (and turning into a dragon *sigh*) that first kiss was perfect.

It was gentle, it was slow, and it was long. He was careful, didn't try to stick his tongue down my throat like a lot of guys try to do on the first kiss. After we broke for air, he presses his forehead to mine and we stay like that for awhile.

"So, was it good for you?" I ask.

Kabuto kisses my nose and smiles. "Good enough for me to want to do it again and again. And again." He punctuates the "agains" with short, light kisses.

"I think I'd be okay with that. Your technique is superb." I say.

"As is yours, Marie-chan."

The poor pizza lay forgotten as we spent the next hour and a half making out on the couch. I'll spare you the details.

Eventually, we did end up eating a piece, saving the rest for supper tomorrow since in my opinion, cold pizza is better than warm pizza. Not an opinion that Kabuto and I share. When I asked to have it for dinner the next day he was scandalized.

We spent the rest of the night in new (fake and we both knew it) relationship bliss. Kabuto ended up carrying me back to my room (stopping every now and then for kisses), where we passed Sasuke, who had just gotten back from a mission sporting a very scandalized look on his face when he caught us mid kiss. I think he just figured out Kabuto's Plan A. Still, the look on that boy's face was probably worth this entire façade.

"I wonder how poor Sasuke-kun will handle this." says Kabuto after Sasuke was out of earshot and we had both finished cackling hysterically at his facial expression.

"I dunno but I did not expect that face. Dear god I am crying. Am I?" I look over at Kabuto who nods and kisses both of my cheeks.

When we finally arrived back at my quarters, Kabuto put me down after he carried me over the threshold.

"Last kiss before you have to leave. Make it count." I say.

Kabuto pauses and picks me up, securing my legs around his waist and started walking towards the bed, his lips glued to mine. He plants me down on the bed and crawls on top of me, the frames of his glasses pressing into my frames. He takes off his glasses and places them on the bedside table, then he takes off my glasses and puts them on the table next to his.

"Planning to stay the night, are we?" I ask, smirking.

"I would love to, but unfortunately I think I would be incapable of controlling myself if I stayed." he says.

"I would totally not mind that. Really it's fine. I don't mind. Nothing I haven't done before."

At this, Kabuto smirks. "Nothing I haven't either. But I want to savor this."

"No sex on the first date?"

"Something like that."

"I understand."

Kabuto smiles and closed the distance between us for one more long breathtaking kiss. "Ja ne, Marie-chan"

And then he was gone.

* * *

Author's note: So I hope this didn't turn out too terribly. Tune in next time for Sasuke therapy and Kabuto's plotting! Reviews are love. Seriously it makes me so happy that someone is enjoying this.

EDIT: 4/20/2017 Style changes


	8. Tragic Backstory

**Sasuke**

Last night, Uchiha Sasuke saw a sight that could not be unseen.

When he returned to the hideout at the dead of night, he was not expecting to run into anyone. Usually, everyone is asleep. Usually the hallways are empty. Usually.

He was not expecting to find Kabuto Yakushi, medic and Orochimaru's right hand man and Marie Baxter, Sasuke's English teacher and clairvoyant in the middle of the main hallway, clinging to one another in a lover's embrace, kissing as if their lives depended on it.

Sasuke blanched in disgust. Suddenly Kabuto's primary plan was revealed to him in perfect clarity. He was playing on the girl's feelings. For power. Sure, Marie-sensei was a bit annoying at times but he did find her to be a positive and kind woman who cared deeply. She didn't deserve to be used like that.

He stalked towards his room, ignoring the couple's laughter at his expense.

* * *

 **Kabuto**

The moment Kabuto left his new paramour's room, he made a beeline to the Uchiha's quarters to tie up some loose ends.

While Sasuke-kun's obvious disgust at the sight of him and his target locked in a rather intimate moment, he had to make sure that Sasuke-kun was not emotionally compromised.

The Uchiha pinned Kabuto to the wall as soon as he opened the door, Sharingan ready.

"Why, hello, Sasuke-kun are you having a lovely evening?" Kabuto croaks as the wind was knocked out of him.

"You bastard. What do you think seducing Marie-sensei is going to accomplish?" Sasuke growls.

"A lot,actually. As you know, Marie-chan knows quite a bit about us."

"And? What does that have anything to do with what I witnessed earlier?" Sasuke presses his arm tighter against Kabuto's torso.

"It's merely a countermeasure. I know she wants something from me so I put my plan into motion to extract what I want from her without getting myself emotionally involved but instead making her emotionally vulnerable to tell me everything she knows." Kabuto chuckles weakly

Sasuke glares. "Marie-sensei isn't an idiot, Kabuto."

"Oh please, I'm sure she's already on to me. This...dalliance we're currently engaging ourselves in is one of mutual deception. Whoever breaks and develops true feelings first loses. I intend to win."

Sasuke blanches. "And what if it isn't?"

"Then feel free to tell her. Break her heart, Sasuke-kun. Then I'd have to resort to more unpleasant means of getting what I want from her."

Sasuke releases Kabuto in shock. "You're terrible, you know that?"

"Ah ah ah, Sasuke-kun. What's going on between me and Marie-chan is our business. I'm sure she'll reveal that she knows about everything during your lesson tomorrow." says Kabuto.

"If she does, keep me out of it. I'd rather not involve myself. If she doesn't. I'm going to kill you." threatens Sasuke.

"Oh, I'd love to see you try. Don't forget I'm almost as strong as Orochimaru-sama. Ta ta, Sasuke-kun. Sleep well." With that, Kabuto leaves Sasuke to his thoughts.

On his way back to his apartment for some much needed rest. Kabuto ponders on the task at hand. He was almost 90% certain that Marie-chan knew his plan, yet she still gave in to forming a...relationship with him. Like Sasuke-kun pointed out, she was not stupid. She also knew his job was to extract information through espionage and that he was very good at his job.

Yet when he kissed her tonight, she responded with equal enthusiasm despite knowing that he had no actual feelings for her. It was odd, but he wasn't complaining.

In fact, it was even more wonderful that she knew. Instead of being seduced, she was challenging him to a battle of seduction. The more time they spent in each other's presence, the longer he kept up the façade, the more likely she would believe it and truly fall for him.

He also was secretly looking forward to the sex. It had been years since he'd had a woman in his bed. If tonight was any indication, she was going to be amazing.

* * *

 **Marie: Next afternoon**

Sasuke arrived at my quarters on time as usual the next day wearing a very off look on his face.

"Hey, Sasuke-kun. Sorry about traumatizing you last night. We didn't realize anyone was still awake." I said, chuckling at the memory of Sasuke's face when he caught me and Kabuto making out in the hallway.

Sasuke shudders and says nothing.

"So, how are you doing with your language studies, Sasuke-kun? At the rate you're progressing you may be fluent in another week or s-"

"He's using you" says Sasuke, his voice hoarse.

"I know." I say.

Sasuke looks at me in shock.

"You know?" he asks, his voice wavering slightly.

"Yeah. I've known all along." I say.

"Then why are you..?" His question trails off because he's not actually sure what we're doing.

"Because I want to save Kabuto from himself. If I'm close to him, I can make a difference in this world. Also him and Orochimaru are my only hopes of getting home since they're the only two mad scientists that I know."

"I guess that makes some kind of sense. I still don't understand why you need to be physically intimate with Kabuto to do these things."

I sigh. "Sasuke-kun, sweetie. That is our battlefield. I can't beat him physically so I gotta endear myself to him. Plus, I have needs. I find him extremely attractive. In my world, sex without feelings is normal. It's not optimal, but it's normal."

"So you...want this?" asks Sasuke.

"I want it. If you know how much he's gone through, you'd want to save him too. I'm gonna tell you a story. Kabuto was found with amnesia by an orphanage that took him in. He had a caring former shinobi as a mother and adopted siblings whom he cared for deeply."

"His mother taught him medical ninjutsu and he showed great promise. He attracted attention from a Konoha elder named Danzō, a terrible man who basically takes children into his program, called ROOT, makes them into the perfect spy without any identity of their own. Have you met Naruto and Sakura's new teammate, Sai, yet?"

Sasuke shook his head.

"Well, you will. He was raised by ROOT as well. I'll tell you about him later once you meet him. Anyway, Kabuto was taken into ROOT and became a spy for Konoha traveling from place to place for years and years having no ties to anyone. The only thing keeping him going was knowing that his mother cared for him."

"Eventually it was decided that he knew too much, so Konoha sent assassins after him. Of course Kabuto fought back in self defense but he ended up killing the operative. That operative was his mother, who had ceased to recognize him because Danzō and ROOT brainwashed her into thinking another boy was her beloved son. That's how Orochimaru found him and took him in."

"Kabuto now wanted to reclaim his identity but everything about his identity was lost. So he decided to make his own by becoming an all powerful being. That's his drive. He experiments on himself so he can achieve this goal. It's not going to turn out well for him in the long run. If I can, I want to get to him before he's too far gone and involves himself in something that will kill a lot of people." There were tears in my eyes near the end. Kabuto may be a prick most of the time, but he never deserved any of what he went through. No one did.

After the story finishes, there is uncomfortable silence for a few minutes as Sasuke processes this new information.

"I...think I understand now." he says.

"In my opinion, you should abandon your vengeance on Itachi and kill Danzō. Fight the real enemy."

"Why would I want to do that?" he asks. The intensity that he was originally channeling had gone down to normal levels. Finally he was his usual, sullen self.

"Oh, that's not my story to tell. It's Itachi's. Let's just say he's the true killer of your clan and leave it at that." I say not so cryptically.

"You have to tell me more than that!"

"I don't think I will. Spoilers."

* * *

Author's Note: Not much to say except thanks to Tabue2000 for reviewing again. Glad to know you're enjoying the story.

Reviews are love. Please love me. C:

EDIT: 4/20/2017: Word changes, style changes


	9. Bed Hair

**Warning: There are limes!** I've never written a lemon before so I'm going to start with a few limes first. This one only goes to second base.

* * *

 **Kabuto**

The moment Sasuke returns to his quarters after his daily lesson, Kabuto is there waiting on him with a smug smile playing on his lips.

"So, Sasuke-kun. Are you going to try and kill me,?" he asks.

Sasuke glares at Kabuto with disdain.

"Shut up." he snaps.

Kabuto's grin magnifies as he howls with laughter. So Marie-chan set him straight like he knew she would. Ah, so predictable.

"Glad to know that my hunch was correct. Now, if you'll excuse me I have errands I need to run for Orochimaru-sama. I wanted to check in on you before I left just in case you wanted to try and kill me."

"Just go away."

With another laugh, Kabuto makes his way to his apartment with glee. Today he had a very important mission involving exterminating the Akatsuki. His first meeting with his contact was today and he had to hurry if he wanted to make a good impression.  
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx  
[Marie]  
Kabuto arrives with my leftover pizza that evening much later than he usually does.

"Well it's about damn time. Where were you?" I say and my stomach growled angrily in accordance.

Kabuto places the plate on the table and pulls me to his chest and before I could protest, he captures my lips with his.

"Good evening to you too, my dear. How was your day?" he asks, releasing me so I could go stuff my face with pepperoni goodness.

I chew angrily, swallowing before I spoke. "Where were you"

"I had a meeting."

"How vague. I'm assuming you're not going to tell me anything else?" I ask.

"Not unless you do." he replies in a singsong voice.

I roll my eyes and continue eating my pizza. He observes me eat with his arms crossed around his chest, obviously amused by my annoyance. Bastard.

"Fine then. I'm gonna guess. Is his name...Sasori?"

He grins. "Perceptive as usual, my dear."

Shit. That means I was on a time crunch. I think. I'm not sure how many times they met in canon.

"Was it your first meeting with him?" I ask leaning on the table with my arms.

"Not telling!"

I sigh, get out of my chair and sit on my bed with my arms crossed. Kabuto smirks, removes his glasses and joins me on the bed.

 **LIME START**

"Don't give me that, Marie-chan. All you have to do is tell me one of your many secrets." he whispers into my ear, then he proceeds to lightly nip at my earlobe , then starting from the skin under my ear, leaving a trail of teasingly slow and light kisses down my neck.

I sigh and remove my own glasses, putting them out of harms way, pulling away from Kabuto's teasing for a second to put them out of harms way.

"You are *very* good at that" I murmur, and put my arms around his neck to undo his ponytail. Kabuto chuckles softly and resumes his assault on my jawline, applying slightly more pressure as he moves down my neck with every kiss. Once he reaches the curve of my shoulder, he begins to lightly suckle at the skin he encounters.

I fall on the bed and bring him on top of me, and I move my arms to his torso, attempting to find the hem of his shirt as Kabuto works his way up my neck, his hands moving to my waist.

Then he returns to my lips and I find the hem of his shirt and place my hands under so I could feel the warm skin on his back. He gasps a little when my hands make contact with his skin.

I feel his tongue brush the bottom of my lip softly before challenging my own tongue to join it in its exploration.

Eventually Kabuto breaks away from my lips to discard his shirt, revealing a toned torso built by his years as a shinobi. I take a second to admire his physique and waggle my eyebrows in his direction to which he shrugs in response.

"Dayumph-" Kabuto cuts me off with another long oral assault that takes both of our breaths away. I explore the contours of his back as we kiss. His skin is warm and firm and I wanted it all over me.

His hands find the hem of my shirt and when I lift myself to take it off, he stops me.

"Not tonight, Marie-chan." says Kabuto and I pout.

"But I wanna be half naked toooo" I whine.

Kabuto laughs and kisses me lightly. "Don't worry, I can compromise."

With that, he pushes me down on the bed, moving himself lower. He lifts the him of my shirt to reveal my stomach. Placing his hands on the sides of my stomach with my shirt still in his hands, he kisses the area under my belly button, slowly working his way up, revealing more skin as he goes.

When Kabuto reaches the top of my stomach, he places his head under the fabric and continues to kiss the valley between my breasts. He stops, removes himself from under my shirt and returns to my lips, leaving my stomach exposed to collide with his uncovered torso.

His hand snakes up my stomach and under my shirt to lightly caress the underside of my right breast. I gasp and he moves his mouth to my neck. as his hand cups my right breast, deliberately avoiding the center.

I growl in anticipation and he laughs, moving down again under my shirt to kiss the underside of the same breast, his other hand repeating the action on my left mound.

"You're a gigantic tease, you do realize this?" I murmur between pants.

Kabuto says nothing, but kisses the side of my right breast and his left hand tweaking lightly at the nipple of my left. Finally he places his mouth on the center of my right breast, sucking lightly which pulls a string from my nipple to between my thighs. I moan slightly and he nibbles at the peak lightly. Then he switches breasts repeating his ministrations on the left breast.

Finally he comes out from under the shirt tent, his silver hair ruffled and a smug smile on his face.

"Was it good for you too?"he asks and flips us over so my head is on his bare chest. I giggle and kiss his torso.

We lay in silence, breathing heavily.

 **[END LIME]**

It's Kabuto who breaks the silence. "I should go. Orochimaru-sama is expecting me to finish my report by tonight." He untangles himself from my arms and searches for his shirt, which was thrown halfway across the room.

I giggle again because his hair is in complete disarray and it's adorable.

"It's a shame I didn't leave any marks on you this time." I say.

Kabuto laughs and puts on his glasses. "I'm sure that'll happen eventually. Where's my hair tie?"

I search the bed and find it off to the side. I hand him the tie and he puts his hair back in a ponytail, but he still maintains his adorable bed hair.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Marie-chan." he says, giving me one last long kiss before he leaves.

* * *

 **Orochimaru**

"Kabuto-kun..."

"Yes, Orochimaru-sama?"

Orochimaru pauses to choose his words. How do you tell your right hand man that he is sporting sex hair without sounding nosy?

"Are you...seeing someone?"

"...why do you ask, Orochimaru-sama?" asks Kabuto.

"Your hair...?"

Kabuto puts his hands on his hair and realizes it's in disarray. "Oh! I thought I fixed that. Apologies, Orochimaru-sama."

"Oh it's none of my business. I was just pointing it out. Usually you are so well put together. I assumed it was a new lover."

The boy laughs a little. "Yeah, I met a girl and things are going well." he smiles sheepishly.

"Obviously. Good for you, then."

"Thank you, Orochimaru-sama."

EDIT: 4/20/2017: Bolded some stuff


	10. Moving day

**Marie**

Bored. I am so bored. I've read through every book Kabuto's given me twice over and now I have nothing to do with my time after Sasuke leaves except stare at the ceiling and wait for dinner.

Kabuto walks in with my dinner as I am lamenting my monotonous existence on my tiny bed.

I wave apathetically at him and he frowns.

"That's not usually the reaction I get from you, Marie-chan. What's wrong?" he asks.

"I'm boooooored." I lament.

"Heh. Well I can fix that." says Kabuto with a cocky grin.

" Noooo I mean like, all the time. There's nothing to do. I don't even have a TV in here. I know I'm like..a lab rat but. I neeeed something to doooooo!" I whine.

"Actually, I was thinking about that earlier. I have a proposition for you. It may not help your boredom, but think of it as...an upgrade." he says.

"Um, okay? Am I getting a bigger room or something?" I ask.

"If you want. You'll have to share it with someone, though." he says.

"Oh my gawwd, Yakushi are you already asking me to move in with you? We've only been going out for like, a few days. Gasp. So sudden!" In reality I was actually kinda excited about getting to have an actual apartment with an actual television and food WHENEVER I WANTED.

"I'm in." I say. "When can I get out of here?"

"Whenever you want." he says.

"Wait. Aren't I still like an experiment or something. Aren't there rules?" I ask.

"Actually...not really, no. You're willing so I guess you can stay anywhere in the hideout."

"Well you DO have a pretty swanky apartment. I guess I accept."

"Alright then. Let's go." Kabuto takes my hand and we get the hell out of there.

"So, since I'm willing, do I also get to roam around freely?"

Kabuto shrugs. "There's really not much here except the lab. I can get you a map if you want."

"Please?" I ask. Kabuto nods and I squeal in delight.

We finally arrive at Kabuto...I mean MY apartment. I skip inside gleefully.

"You know, this place is going to be so much messier now that I live here. I apologize in advance."

Kabuto laughs. "I figured as much."

"No, you don't understand. I'm a slob. Like I can't even keep my room clean for a week. Speaking of which, where is my room?"

Kabuto smirks. "*Our* room is right down that hallway."

"Oh my. I'm already blushing."

Kabuto laughs and leads me down to his...my...our bedroom.

It was actually a very spacious room with a king sized bed and...an upright piano in the corner.

"You play?" I ask.

"Hah. No I don't actually. I've been meaning to learn for a long time but I've never gotten around to it. Do you play?" he asks.

"I've been playing since I was five. I'm actually not very good though. I'm kind of a mediocre musician in my opinion." I admit.

In fact, I almost became a music teacher. My main instrument wasn't the piano, it was the violin. I loved the violin and I though I'd love teaching kids how to play. I didn't. I was terrible at it. I hadn't picked up a violin in years out of shame.

"Can you play something for me? I'd love to hear you play." says Kabuto.

"I have a couple of songs memorized." I walk over to the piano and begin to play "Arabesque" by Bürgmuller. One of the few songs I can play by heart due to its repetitive themes.

The piece is fast paced and the rhythm is difficult to get right but I manage to make it sound somewhat decent with only a few slip ups here and there.

After I finish, I get off the bench and bow. Kabuto claps, as is proper.

"You're quite talented, Marie-chan."

"I'm...I'm really not. That was a very easy song. A kid could learn it. Hell, I learned it when I was thirteen." I say.

"It didn't look easy to me."

"You don't know how to play piano, though. Trust me, it's for middle schoolers."

"You're downplaying your talent, my dear." says Kabuto.

"Don't you do the same with your own talent?" I ask.

"I guess when you put it that way there's no argument."he says.

I walk away from the piano and flop on the bed. Super soft but not too soft. Firm but not too firm. I sigh in delight. I could get used to a bed like this.

Kabuto joins me on the bed, smiling.

"So..now that you have me here, are you going to have your way with me?" I ask, my eyebrows wiggling suggestively.

"Hah! All in good time." Kabuto says, stretching his legs and arms before bonelessly relaxing his limbs. "I'm actually quite tired. I'm afraid that I cannot ravish you in the way that I want to in my current state."

"That sounds hot."

Kabuto chuckles and leans over for a kiss. I move myself onto his chest and he drapes his arm around me.

"Speaking of ravishing...does protection even exist in this universe? You're cute and all but I don't think I'm ready to have a bunch of silver haired children."

Kabuto chokes down a laugh. "My dear, I am a medic-nin. Contraception is a non-issue with me."

"Right. Duh. Forgot you were like a doctor or something."

"There's a distinct difference between practicing medical ninjutsu and practicing medicine, Marie-chan." Kabuto explains.

"Don't you do both?"

"I dabble in medicine, I'm an expert in medical ninjutsu."

"How can you 'dabble' in medicine?" I ask.

"You forget I'm also a scientist. We use all knowledge at our disposal."

"You're a lot of stuff. Scientist...ninja...spy...doctor...must be nice to have so many talents."

"Talents are nothing if you aren't the best." Kabuto muses.

I laugh. "That's bullshit and you know it. Look at me. I play nine instruments. Sounds cool right? Well guess what? I play them all terribly. That's literally my only talent. And I suck at it."

"You don't have a very high opinion of yourself do you, Marie-chan?" asks Kabuto, his voice actually laced with sadness.

"I may seem cute and quirky around you but in reality I'm a worthless human being. I can barely take care of myself."

Kabuto sighs. "I'm sure that's not true."

We sit in silence for awhile. Eventually we decide to actually get in bed. I take off my pants, Kabuto takes off his shirt and we nestle ourselves under the covers, having short sleepy conversations until we both fall asleep in each other's arms.

* * *

Author's note: dear god the fluff. I'm sorry it was so fluffy and depressing. I just started writing and...it happened.

Thank you to Kejmur and Tabue2000 for reviewing. I sent you guys a reply via pm if anyone actually checks those anymore. I don't think they do.


	11. The First Time

Author's note: Holy..crap. You guys really like this story! Excellent! Since no one replies to my PMs for literature feedback and discussion (waah) I will reply to reviews here for your convenience.

Ashthetyto: AND I LOVE YOU! THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT!

Pika5490: Dude. I don't care if you spam the review page. I'm flattered you reviewed every chapter! I actually loved it. As to answering your question "why doesn't she just tell him how already powerful he is?": She desperately wants to but she knows how dead set he is and how little he thinks of her. If she tries now before he actually finds her opinion to be worth hearing, she'd basically kill all hope in him taking her seriously. And yes, Kabuto is a prick. A giant prick.

Tabue2000: You know how they say "write what you know?" Marie is literally me with sliiightly more sexual confidence. Her entire backstory is my life. When I was 18 I went to school for instrumental music education for two years and I dropped out. I do actually play 9 instruments but I think the number has dwindled down to seven since I failed brass class. Basically, if you play one string instrument, theoretically you can play them all. Eventually I plan on expanding her backstory because she is literally Kabuto's opposite when it comes to obtaining power. It's why I think they work so well together. They're actually quite similar but completely different at the same time. And as for your question if Naruto and company will meet her…yes. I am planning on it. But right now I'm still character building between our leading man and leading lady.

Also, since I'm currently typing this from a library computer and not my phone, I have gone back and edited tenses and bolded words that needed to be bolded and such. Nothing about the content has changed, it just looks prettier.

Warning: LEMON warning

* * *

 **Kabuto**

Kabuto woke early, as is early rising is a part of his daily routine. Today was the first full day of sharing living quarters with Marie-chan, who was still sleeping soundly on top of him, her legs entangled with his. She radiates a comfortable warmth around his person, making the idea of leaving his…their bed felt like a terrible idea.

He lay in silence for a while, enjoying the feeling of another warm human body next to him. Kabuto congratulated himself on the superb idea of asking Marie-chan to share his apartment since they were now technically in a romantic relationship. She was given the illusion of freedom while he kept a close watch on her since now they were living in such close quarters. It made his observation of her condition easier as well. Giving her free reign of the hideout and outside would also give her a false sense of security, as if he trusted her to move about freely.

He glances at her sleeping form. As if sensing his eyes on her, she rolls over on her back, mouth open, as she starts to snore softly. Kabuto laughs silently. His target was a walking contradiction. Beautiful, but flawed in so many ways. He wonders how she had managed to live to the age of 25 with all of her nutritional deficiencies and lack of awareness. Still, he muses silently, even though he considered Marie-chan to be his polar opposite, she was also his kindred spirit in many ways.

It wasn't something he wanted to dwell on, as she simply a means to an end. He would figure out what she knew about his world, by any means necessary. Still, he wonders why she would go along with such a thin farce such as this. Kabuto theorizes that perhaps he becomes important in the future.

Or, more than likely, she wants to go home and she believes he could somehow transport her back to her world. While he empathized with wanting to return to her own world, and admittedly he had started to research the possibility of alternate universes out of his own curiosity. So far, he hadn't produced anything useful, but there was always a glimmer of hope when it came to research like this.

He sighs and rubs his eyes sleepily, retrieving his glasses from the headboard. It was time to start a new day.

 **Marie**

I woke up alone. Since I have had not had access to a clock since I arrived, the friendly clock on the headboard stating that it was 8:30am was a refreshing change. There was a note next to the clock

" _I made eggs for you in the kitchen, I hope you like them scrambled. I'll be gone for several hours. Don't sleep the day away!_

\- _Yakushi Kabuto"_

His handwriting is neat and clean, I note. Because of course it is. He was a perfectionist to the highest degree. He had signed his name in sprawling calligraphy to top off the perfection.

"Arrogant prick," I mumble.

I throw the covers off of my body and search for my pants which were neatly folded on the dresser.

Obviously my new roommate/ "boyfriend" picked them off the floor this morning because I don't think I've ever folded an article of clothing that neatly before.

Deciding not to put on pants, since dammit, this is my house too, I waltz out of the bedroom to the kitchen. Sure enough, a plate of scrambled eggs was waiting for me to devour on the bar table. Bless Kabuto's tiny dark heart, he even added cheese to the recipe to my delight.

It was a shame that this relationship was completely a farce. If I didn't know that my new "boyfriend" was a power hungry and sadistic psychopath, I'd consider him as the most thoughtful boyfriend I've ever had. Stupid tragic backstory screwed him up for prime relationship material.

I finish my breakfast and skip over to browse Kabuto's VHS section. Sadly, there were no movies in my language but one cover did catch my eye.

It appeared to be a low budget horror movie from the country of Cloud. Plastered across the cover were images of tailed beasts (I think, they were all poorly made)

In the center, I shit you not, was Killer Bee doing a rap pose. Lack of subtitles be damned, I had to witness this masterpiece.

* * *

Kabuto came home roughly near the end of the film. At that point I was howling with laughter because...the entire film was basically a rap video with a """plot""" of which I don't think I would understand even if I knew the language.

Glancing over at the tv, Kabuto shot me a knowing smile.

"I see you found...that movie..." he says.

"Yakushi...what the fuck is this and why do I find it so funny?" I ask through labored breaths. I turn off the television to get off the couch and greet him with an embrace.

Kabuto gives me a peck on the lips and laughs. "It's..something I found while visiting Cloud. Killer Bee himself was selling copies of the...uh, 'film'."

"It's...a very different kind of special that's for sure." I say.

Kabuto nods in agreement.

"Speaking of special...is there a reason why you haven't put on pants yet this morning?"

I grin suggestively. "Are you...busy?"

"Well, I have a couple of hours to spare at the moment. I'm running an exper-" I cut him off with my mouth.

* * *

 **LEMON START**

He gets the message and lifts me into the air, I wrap my arms around his torso and he secures my position by holding my rear.

We make out way towards the bedroom where he deposits me on the bed, discarding his shirt and glasses immediately before discarding of my shirt and glasses in a similar fashion. We kiss for awhile, reveling in the feeling of bare skin colliding with bare skin.

My legs wrap around his legs, securing his hips against my own. We both gasp at the sensation of our hips colliding, only a few layers of cloth separating the sensitive areas.

Kabuto breaks away from my mouth and I assault his neck in the process of removing his hair band so. He groans when I hit a certain spot and I concentrate my efforts, sucking and licking the area of sensitivity with a little nibble every now and then. He tears me away from his neck to engage me in a heated kiss that is accompanied by his hands roaming my sides, making their way to my breasts.

He breaks away from my mouth to assault my neck in a similar fashion as I did, a hand finding a nipple and rolling it between their fingers. I moan at the sensation and I can feel the smugness radiating from him as he smiles against my neck as he kisses his way down to attach his mouth to my other breast. The free hand, that is not currently fondling me is making its way down my stomach slowly.

When Kabuto's exploring hand reaches the elastic on my underwear, he starts kissing his way down my body, starting between my breasts, and ending at the elastic. I gasp when his thumbs caress my hip bones under the elastic as he pulls the offending garment off of me, leaving me completely naked.

Kabuto kisses down my right leg, starting at my hip bone and slowly works his way down to my knee. At the knee, he parts my legs, placing them over his shoulders as he kisses the inside of my left thigh, starting at the knee working his way towards my center.

I wiggle impatiently because the burning had gotten to the point where each kiss to my thigh increased the pressure in my center.

Finally, he reaches the beginning of my lower lips kissing my clit lightly and beginning his assault.

I couldn't tell you exactly what he did because at that point all I felt was fire and pressure and warmth. My brain had ceased functioning due to overstimulation The boy was good with his tongue bringing me over the edge quicker than any of my previous lovers. I screamed when I climaxed and Kabuto untangled himself from my legs and returned to his position on top of me, kicking away his pants and boxers, leaving both of us completely nude. He presses his forehead to mine, as he catches his breath.

"Damn...that was..." I whisper. Kabuto smiles. "I'm not done with you just yet" he whispers between ragged breaths.

"Are you completely sure you have protection?" I ask.

Kabuto rolls his eyes in response, sitting up to retrieve a condom from his nightstand. He shows me the package, splits it open with his mouth and places the condom on himself.

"I'd use a medical ninjutsu instead but I don't think that would work with you since you're...different." he says.

He climbs on top of me and lines the head of his member up with my center.

"Ready?" he asks. I nod, and he slowly pushes himself inside me.

We both gasp at the sensation. He pauses to catch his breath before he starts to move. I lift up my hips to meet his resulting in the sound of skin slapping against skin with accompanying moans and grunts. Sweat slicks both of our bodies as we move together in unison. When I climax again, he picks up the pace resulting in his own release that triggers my third and final orgasm.

He collapses on top of me, pulling the covers over our sweaty, naked bodies.

 **END LEMON**

"I could get used to this" I sigh. Kabuto rolls off of me, placing my body against his chest.

"That...was quite nice." he concurs, his hands migrating to my hair.

"It's been awhile for me." I say, basking in the afterglow of the best sex I'd ever had in my life.

"For me, it's been several years." agrees Kabuto.

"How long do I get to have you?" I ask.

"Another hour or so. Then I have to go and check on my experiment and report my findings to Orochimaru-sama." he says.

"So...enough time for another round in the shower?"

Kabuto chuckles. "I love the way you think, my dear."

* * *

 **Orochimaru**

Hell had frozen over.

Kabuto was ten minutes late in returning with his report on the ongoing experiment. Kabuto was never late. Orochimaru actually thought he was incapable of being late.

Ten minutes later, his favorite spy rushes into the office, glasses askew, hair damp, and ...oh my was that a love bite?

"Orochimaru-sama! I apologize for my tardiness. Please forgive me!" says Kabuto, panting heavily.

Orochimaru smiles. "It's quite alright. I'm sure you were...busy with important matters. I see you've caught yourself quite a little vixen, Kabuto-kun. Will I ever get to meet her in person instead of gazing on her glorious handiwork?"

Kabuto blushed and laughs. "Well, I'll see if she wants to arrange a meeting. She's quite shy, you see."

"Is that so? Well I'd love to meet her." retorts Orichimaru. His little Kabuto was growing up. Ah, young love.

"I shall ask her, Orochimaru-sama."

"Excellent."


	12. Retail Hell

[Marie]

I collapse on the bed, breathing heavily. Kabuto laughs weakly as he pulls me towards his chest.

"I think that's enough for the night." he says, catching his breath.

"I gotta say I think that's the most sex I've had in one day. I probably won't be walking straight for a week after this." I say. Kabuto nods in agreement.

We lie in silence, basking in the afterglow of our fourth (yes, *fourth*) time together in the span of 24 hours.

"Say...Marie-chan?" Kabuto breaks the silence.

"Drop the -chan, stamina boy. You've earned the right to a first name basis."

Kabuto laughs. "I guess you're right, Marie."

"Damn straight, Yakushi. So what were you about to say?"

"Well, Orochimaru-sama wants to meet you."

"...why? Is he wanting to start experimentation on me or something?"

Kabuto laughs again. "No, actually. He wants to meet my lover."

"...okay? So is this like me meeting your dad or something?" I ask.

"I guess you can put it like that. I wouldn't, personally."

"So, what am I going to wear?"

[Ino]

"I can't believe you made me sign up for this stupid mission, Ino-pig! There's so much more interesting things I could be doing right now. But instead, I'm working retail. Why the hell is this on the mission list?" Sakura fumes.

Ino sighs. "Forehead, we need to do our service to the community by lending our fashion knowledge for a few days. Relax, it'll be fun. Besides, they're paying us a B-rank salary for this. They were that desperate for extra help."

"But Ino-!"

"Hush, forehead. We have customers."

A young couple dressed in all black walks into the front door and boy did both of them need some serious fashion help. Ino puts on her game face on and approaches the tragically dressed couple.

"Welcome! May I help you?" chimes Ino. The girl looks at Ino in shock and starts babbling excitedly to her boyfriend in another language. Great. Foreigners.

"Yes, thank you. My girlfriend is meeting my father tonight and she needs to make an impression. Can you suggest anything for her?" asks the boyfriend. He was nice looking with gray eyes and black hair. His face looked vaguely familiar but Ino couldn't remember where she'd seen him before. The girl was on the short side with an ass that was made for tight fitting jeans, though not much else going for her besides her cute face and gigantic blue eyes. She desperately needed some new shampoo and a haircut.

Ino squeals inwardly. "Of course! I would be happy to help!

[Marie]

You'd think I'd be used to running into beloved anime characters by now.

Kabuto had decided to take me shopping in the village near the hideout which took us half an hour to reach by ninja speed. Since the village was so close to Kabuto's hometown, he opted to go in disguise, dying his hair black with a jutsu and wearing colored contacts.

Of course we'd run into members of the Rookie 9. Once we walked into the clothing store I immediately recognized Ino and off to the side I saw Sakura, who did not look too pleased to be there.

"Oh my god oh my god. I'm so star struck right now." I squeal to Kabuto as he's conversing with Ino who apparently worked at the store.

Ino gave me a once over and pulled me over to a rack of nice blouses. She said something to Kabuto who nodded.

"What's she saying?"

"She's telling me to buy you some new shampoo as well if you want to make a good impression on my father." he translates.

"That's the cover story you went with?" I comment dryly.

"Tell her I agree with the new shampoo thing. Ask her for recommendations."

Ino made me try on several blouses that apparently "looked terrible because they clashed with the damn sweatpants" So she made me try on a ridiculous amount of jeans which I honestly considered cruel and unusual punishment.(Kabuto stays silent throughout this ordeal, only translating for Ino and ogling my ass. Men are useless)

Finally, I had the "perfect pair of jeans" (I made Kabuto buy several) and then the onslaught of blouses that were entirely too frilly for my taste. I ended up buying a few at Ino's enthusiastic insistence. Hell, it's not like I'm paying for them. For Orochimaru's meeting I insisted on having at least one dress. I ended up with a simple yet comfortable navy and white dress with bright yellow shoes to match, all of which I picked out by myself.

Poor Sakura was manning the cashier machine, and she looked miserable. I felt her pain. I used to work in a medical bookstore that barely sold any books but did sell a ton of office supplies and candy. I worked there for five years and it was miserable.

I look over at Sakura with sympathy and say "I feel your pain, dear." I wasn't sure she understood my words, but I made sure to display that sympathy on my face as well. Sakura smiles at me and nods in thanks.

As we leave the store with my purchases Kabuto breathes a sigh of relief.

"Did they make you nervous?" I ask amusingly.

"It's a good thing that you needed so much help because if that Ino girl wasn't so focused on you, she'd have recognized me for sure." Kabuto says.

"No she wouldn't have. You were a guy who participated in the Chūnin exams three freaking years ago. I don't even think you'd be a blip on her radar. I would be more worried about Sakura if I were you. Luckily I think she was too miserable to notice."

"How could you tell she was miserable? She seemed pleasant to me." says Kabuto with a puzzled look on his face.

"You've never worked in retail so you don't understand. Trust me. She was in agony. I could see it in her eyes." I say.

[Sakura]

"Hey, Ino-pig. Didn't that guy look a bit familiar to you? I swear I've seen him before." says Sakura after the young couple had exited the store.

"I know! I was about to ask the same thing. Like, crazy familiar. I can't exactly put my finger on where I've seen him before, though..." Ino replies while folding a shirt that a careless customer had left in the dressing room.

"It's going to drive me crazy...Did we get any security footage of him?" asks Sakura.

Ino rolls her eyes and laughs. "Well probably, but isn't that a bit creepy to go that far, Forehead? Like, it was just some guy and his girlfriend. We've been seeing couples like them in here all day."

"But none of them looked THAT familiar." insists Sakura as she rewinds the tape and pauses to get another good look.

It takes a while for her to study his face, looking for any familiar features. Then, it hits her after she unpauses the tape and hears his laugh.

Chūnin exams. Forest of Death. Sasuke-kun's curse mark and the assassination attempt carried out by a Oto spy before the final tournament. She had seen his face in the final report filed by Kakashi-sensei after the incident since at that time, Sakura was interested in helping out the investigation in whatever way she could.

"Ino...do you remember that one Konoha genin during the Chūnin exams back when we were 12? The one with all the cards?" asks Sakura.

Ino ponders in thought for a moment before answering.

"Oh yeah! The one in glasses with the creepy teammates?"

"Yeah, that guy. I think that was him! He works for Orochimaru!" exclaims Sakura.

"Wait. Seriously? We're in the middle of nowhere. I thought Sound was farther away from here." says Ino.

"I have to go after him before he disappears. He may know where Sasuke-kun is!"

"Woah woah woah, forehead let's think about this!"

Sakura shakes her head. "I have to go before he disappears. I'll be right back." With that, she rushes out of the store.

She searches the village from top to bottom and around the outskirts. The young couple was nowhere to be found. Sakura groans in frustration and takes out her anger on the nearest tree before returning to the store.

"So, any luck?" asks Ino. Sakura sadly shakes her head and returns to her post.

[Kabuto]

Kabuto decides that he and Marie cannot risk staying in the village any longer, so he immediately starts traveling to the hideout, Marie secured safely on his back. As he runs, he plots how to handle the impending situation with his master.

Orochimaru-sama to his knowledge was unaware that Kabuto's new lover was in fact one of his own experiments in chakra masking. Would he be able to sense her lack of chakra?

Honestly it didn't matter if the Sannin noticed her condition or not. What really worried him was the possibility of Marie accidentally giving away vital information about the future during the meeting.

Marie was usually good at being tight-lipped about her knowledge of his world. He'd only been able to get her to mention past events and hints that she knew something big was about to happen, such as his ongoing meetings with the Akatsuki member, Sasori.

She knew something about those meetings and it was driving Kabuto insane knowing that she knew something about them and wasn't telling him. He was due to meet Sasori again in the next couple of days, so he figured he could get her to tell him something with some...recently acquired knowledge of her body's sensitive spots after the meeting.

He would easily be able to tease the information out of her very easily and he'd enjoy it immensely and so would she...once she told him what he wanted to know. He smiles at the image of how the interrogation would play out in his head and he accidentally laughs softly out loud as a result.

"Hey, Yakushi. What's so funny? Care to share?" Oops. Probably best not to think about it while the target is in proximity. Kabuto thinks.

"Nothing...just thinking about what I'm going to do to you when we get home." he says smugly.

Marie laughs. "Does it involve our kitchen counter and nudity? Because I think we're thinking the same thing."

Kabuto smirks and starts to run faster.

[Marie]

Kabuto and I finally got home from shopping in the village and after we violated the kitchen counter a couple of times in several positions, it was time to get ready for the dinner with Orochimaru.

We washed each other thoroughly as if both of us were going on a date and wanted to make an excellent impression. Kabuto braided my hair and I made sure he wasn't sporting any scandalous marks. Our relationship may be completely a farce, but that doesn't change the fact that we still act like obnoxious newlyweds in every aspect.

"So where are we going?" I ask as I'm brushing Kabuto's hair.

"Orochimaru-sama's quarters. He's cooking us dinner." replies Kabuto.

"...should I be worried?"

"He's actually an excellent cook...well. Actually. One moment." He speeds out of the apartment, probably notifying Orochimaru of my strange eating habits.

Ten minutes later he was back.

"Now you have nothing to worry about." says Kabuto, smiling.

"My hero!" I say, wrapping my arms around his neck and giving him a quick peck on the lips.

He responds by giving me a longer kiss and leading me to the couch. He sits down and I straddle his lap.

Kabuto laughs. "We really need to stop having intercourse so often."

"We're a new couple, so we should allowed to bang as much as we want in the first few weeks." I say, kissing the tip of his nose.

"You're insatiable." he says, kissing the tip of my nose in response.

I giggle. "You love it."

"I do find it incredibly attractive, yes."

"We're disgusting." I say.

"Are we?"

"We're the worst kind of couple. The kind that's all over each other all the time and does everything together. They're the worst to see in public. Never thought I'd be in one of those relationships." I lament.

"It's not my fault you can't keep your hands off me." Kabuto says with a grin.

I shove him playfully. "Oh my god you're such an arrogant prick. But...I can't help but notice you're doing the same, hypocrite."

"Guilty as charged."

After much temptation to ruin our hard work in actually looking presentable to engage in acting on our primal desires, it was finally time for The Dinner.

Author's note: I really really need to stop writing this so quickly because my papers are due next week and I'm writing this faster than I'm writing them.

Tabue2000: Thank you so much! Well..I haven't written the chapter yet but I think he will give off an "overprotective dad" vibe just a little bit but not too much. Orochimaru's actually pretty chill to be honest. He just wants to have his lab and his experiments.

Reviews make me super happy, guys! I'd love to talk to you guys about the story one on one as well. I'm still looking for a beta, obviously since I post these chapters literally after I finish writing the last sentence. It's kinda not a good habit to have.


	13. The Dinner

[Marie]

I wish that I hadn't had given into Ino's insistence that I wear heels. In hindsight, it would've been better to go the safe route and just have bought the flats as I was planning on doing.

But Ino was persistent. "They'll make you look taller and give you a more dignified look!" she had said, or that's what she had said according to Kabuto, and her body language mirrored his words.

"Stupid...stupid..stupid.." I mutter as I cling to Kabuto's forearm for balance.

"You alright?" he asks, playing the part of the concerned boyfriend. He does it so well.

Inwardly I curse Danzō yet again for turning this naturally kind, good-natured man into a crazy person.

"I'm fine, I'm just regretting my choice in footwear. I'll be fine once I sit down." I assure him, stumbling as I try to walk in a straight line.

Kabuto smiles and tightens his grip on my arm.

"You look stunning, by the way."

"It's a shame we didn't get any make up before we had to leave because of Sakura." I lament. "Coz then I had the potential to be gorgeous."

"You're gorgeous now."

"But you're sleeping with me. You're supposed to say that." Ugh. Does he have to be that charming?

Stupid Danzō and his stupid program and his stupid brainwashing. Mark my words I will make Sasuke hate you more than he currently hates his brother and he will END you. I scream inwardly again.

"Fair enough." he retorts. "We're almost there. Don't be nervous."

"Who said I was nervous?" I stammer.

Kabuto gives me a look that translates as "Honey, it's written all over your face."

"Okay...I am nervous. Orochimaru is kind of an important figure." I confess.

"Don't worry, he will love you." assures Kabuto as he approaches a door that I assumed led to Orochimaru's quarters.

He knocks on the door and a pale, slim man answers. He greets us in Eastern Common and I wave in response.

Kabuto says something to Orochimaru in the same language and Orochimaru nods and ushers us inside.

It's always weird for me to hear Kabuto speak in Eastern Common, since sometimes I forget English isn't his first language.

My mind immediately goes to the gutter as I remember a particular passionate moment last night when Kabuto softly whispered words in Eastern Common (and most likely something very dirty) in my ear while he took me.

My mind snapped to the present as I walked inside Orochimaru's quarters, suppressing my blush hurriedly.

"Have a seat, my dear." says Orochimaru as he pulls a chair for me. I smile at him as I sit down.

I love Orochimaru. He may also be a crazy person but his intellect is something that I admired and he always seemed to treat the people under him with respect and dignity. Plus, I loved his part in the upcoming war. The four resurrected Kages were the best thing to come out of that arc besides resurrected Deidara and Itachi. (For the record, my favorite kage is Hashirama Senju)

Orochimaru and Kabuto have a seat next to me on either side. Dinner was already served. Chicken and several vegetable plates along with some sort of pasta and rolls.

"Apologizes, but what is your name? Kabuto-kun never mentioned your name." says Orochimaru.

His English is much more accented than Kabuto's, who sounds as if he were born and raised in America most of the time. But it's still extremely understandable.

"My name is Marie, sir." I reply with a nod.

Endearing yourself to your significant other's parents step one: Use sir when addressing them directly. My father is ex military, so sir and ma'am when addressing authority figures was usually second nature.

"So polite!" exclaimed Orochimaru. "Wait a minute. Kabuto-kun, isn't that the name of the young woman you found in the woods two weeks ago? The one with the chakra issue?"

"Hai, Orochimaru-sama."

A smile flashes across Orochimaru's features. "Fascinating. You never told me she was so beautiful and charming."

"It wasn't relevant to my research, sir." Kabuto says.

"I suppose it wasn't my business. Tell me, Marie-chan, what is your occupation?" asks Orochimaru.

"Before I was found, I was a student of history. I'm from the west, so schooling is different there. I was planning on getting my degree in Library science." I answer.

"A lover of books, I see. Kabuto-kun, have you shown her our library here in the hideout?"

"Sir, she can't read or speak our language."

"Oh, right. Apologies Marie-chan. I'm certain Kabuto-kun could make some time to teach you our language. Though I assume he'd be a little...distracting as an instructor." giggles Orochimaru. "If you wish it, I'd be happy to teach you."

I smile widely "You would!? That's amazing! Thank you, sir!"

"It is no problem, my dear. After all, you are the lover of my favorite student. It's my way of getting to know you a little better." says Orochimaru.

"She's actually the one who helped Sasuke-kun improve his Eastern Common, Orochimaru-sama." says Kabuto.

"Is that so? I sent Sasuke-kun to Earth today on a mission actually. He impressed me enough with his language skills. I suppose I should thank you for that."

I beam. "Thank you, sir."

"So tell me about your family. If you have any, if not, my apologies."

"Well, my father is an ex military medic, and my mother is a nurse. Both are alive and well."

"I see, I see. Very medical family you have. I'm assuming you didn't want to follow in your parents' footsteps?"

I laugh, "Well, actually I have a younger sister who is studying to be a surgeon. I didn't get the medical gene, I'm afraid."

"We all have our unique talents, my dear. I understand completely."

And so the dinner maintained that atmosphere for the rest of the evening. Orochimaru was a gracious host and actually an amazing cook.

As we walked home that evening, Kabuto was sporting a strange look on his face.

"What's wrong?" Now it was my turn to ask.

Kabuto smiles weakly. "It's nothing for you to worry about."

My eyes narrow. Liar.

"Okay, whatever you say."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Author's note: I wanted to make this longer but I kind of wanted to give Kabuto's brooding its own chapter. That one's gonna take longer since I plan on including a lemon but I've posted two chapters today already so I guess that's not really a big deal. Also I LOVE writing Orochimaru. I'm not sure if I'm doing his character justice since his portrayal in the Lee spinoff kinda warped my impression of him.

Thanks to Tabue2000 for reviewing! Thanks to my followers for putting up with my constant updates. As I said last chapter: still beta-less. Still review hungry.


	14. Confessions

Warning: There is sex in this chapter, BUT it has plot relevant dialogue. Sorta. Sorry.

[Kabuto]

In Kabuto's opinion, he muses after Marie falls asleep post-coitus, the dinner with his master went about as good as he could had expected it to go.

Still...he was worried. He intentionally kept his master away from Marie because of what she knew.

Now Orochimaru-sama had offered to teach her the local language on a near daily basis. There was no harm in Marie learning Eastern Common, in fact he had been meaning to teach her himself.

But as Orochimaru-sama so shrewdly pointed out, Kabuto would be a...distracting instructor since they were currently experiencing a stage in their relationship where sexual hormones controlled much of their interactions.

Theoretically if Kabuto had tried to teach Marie himself during this special time, all of their lessons would end in nudity and entangled limbs.

He wonders if he should tell Marie to not reveal anything to his master except that would probably sound extremely suspicious and she had already suspected something was wrong.

Then again, maybe on this matter Marie should be trusted? She had refused to reveal anything from the future to anyone since she had gotten here. Why should Orochimaru-sama be any different?

'Except,' a voice nagging in the back of his head insisted. 'You know Sasuke-kun hasn't looked at you the same since he confronted her about the kiss he witnessed in the hallway. When he does look at you, it's in pity and disgust. What did she tell him? You must know.'

He observes the nude young woman sleeping peacefully on his bare chest. What exactly did she tell Sasuke-kun? It must have made a very large impact on the boy, as he had dropped the subject of what he witnessed altogether.

Kabuto hated not knowing things. He was trained to find secrets and as a result he felt as if he had to learn all secrets. The woman currently in his arms was a treasure trove of secrets and at the same time she was an open book when it came to herself.

Kabuto lightly traces circles on his lover's back as he contemplates his current life situation. She stirs and slowly opens her eyes to look up at him.

"Hi." she whispers and stretches a little.

"Hello." He buries his face in her hair as he continues to stroke her back in circles.

"Mmm..that feels nice." she purrs sleepily. "Can't sleep?"

"I have a lot on my mind." he replies.

"Care to share?"

"I wouldn't want to worry you."

Marie scoffs. "Yeah right. Just tell me."

"I'm meeting Sasori again tomorrow."

Silence.

"..oh" she says softly after a long pause.

"Is something wrong?"

"I-It's nothing. Just be safe, okay?" she says, her voice wavering slightly. She knows something. He's almost sure of it.

"You know something, Marie."

"...yeah."

"You're not going to tell me?"

"...it's not relevant right now." she says cryptically.

"It's not?"

"...no. The conditions are wrong. It's not time."

"That's helpful." deadpans Kabuto.

"I want to help. I really do."

Kabuto sighs. "Then just tell me."

"It's not time. I will tell you when the time comes. I promise. Just be careful okay? And let me know what happens. If you don't tell me anything about the meeting today, I can't tell you anything because I don't know if it's the right time."

"How do you know that now is not the right time?" Kabuto decides to play along with her cryptic routine.

"It's..just not. The stars aren't aligned right or some shit like that."

Kabuto smiles. Finally his hard work was starting to pay off. That is, if she delivered on her promise.

"I guess I'll take your word for it." he says.

"Kabuto..."

"Yes?"

"Can you do something for me?" she asks weakly.

"I make no promises. My job requires occasional unpleasantries."

"It's not about your job, you dork." she deadpans.

"Then what is it about?"

"It's about you." she whispers sadly.

"What about me?"

Marie is silent.

"I...really shouldn't say anything but I may be running out of time." she mumbles.

"Marie, what are you trying to say?"

She sighs. "Whatever you do, don't alter yourself from the way you are right now. This Kabuto is perfect enough."

His eyes widened. She knew about the experiments. She knew about what he was going to do once Orochimaru-sama tried to take over Sasuke's body.

"A very deliberate choice of words. You know." he says.

She buries her face into his chest in defeat.

"Yeah." she mumbles. "I know."

"I suspected you might." he says, absently running his hands through her hair.

"I know your entire life story too, you know. The orphanage, ROOT, the brainwashing. All of it." she confesses.

Now that surprised him. Kabuto thought he wasn't important enough for such focus.

"And yet you willingly got into bed with a man who accidentally killed his own adoptive mother?"

She laughs, without any trace of humor. "You don't want my pity. That's why I didn't say anything."

"Very perceptive of you, my dear. I don't need pity. Soon I'll have everything I've ever wanted."

"...so you're still planning on going through with it?"

"Of course I am."

"Of course you are..." she mumbles sarcastically. "Just so you know, I'm not sleeping with you once you absorb your boss. It's icky."

He laughs. "Don't worry I will still be me."

"That's extremely debatable." says Marie. She unburies her head from Kabuto's chest and stares at him with her ridiculously gigantic eyes.

"Do it for me." she says, leaning closer to his face. "Please."

Kabuto closes the distance between them and she straddles his chest as they kiss.

During the kiss, Kabuto quickly makes the seals for the contraceptive jutsu with his right hand and applying it to his shaft. Marie breaks the kiss and stares at his hand.

"Oh my god is that a mystical condom?"

Kabuto chokes down a long and complicated explanation about the medical contraception jutsu he just performed to a simple "...No."

Marie shrugs and leans in for another kiss, lining herself up with his shaft. Breaking herself away from his lips, she slowly sinks down on his shaft, burying it inside her with a satisfied grin on her face.

"I mean it. This will not happen anymore if you go with your plan." she says. She grinds her hips against his. Kabuto bucks his hips upward to match her rhythm.

"Why do you...need to ..ah..absorb him anyway?"

Kabuto sits up and places his hands on her rear, in an attempt to control her pace.

"Because...I...worked so hard for...years to achieve my goal..and now it's..ah..within my grasp." Kabuto gasps. She's on his lap, her hands bracing herself on his shoulders as she rides him.

"Screw...your goal. You...are a damn fine shinobi...ah...already and you know it."

Kabuto flips them over and pistons himself into her at a rapid pace.

"But...I am not the ...best."

Marie growls as she tried to flip them back in their previous position but her civilian strength fails her, so she instead lets him take the lead.

"Who...cares if you're the...best?"

"I...do." Kabuto growls. With that he brings her over the edge, her walls clamping down on his shaft, resulting his own release.

He collapses on top of her, both of them breathing heavily.

"That...was kinda intense. Doesn't change my mind, but..wow." Marie purrs.

Kabuto says nothing and flips over onto his back, still panting. Marie assumes her spot next to him. He wraps his arms around her body, stroking her back.

"Kabuto...?"

"Yes?"

"I...want to go home."

"...I know. I've been looking into it. I haven't found anything I can use yet." Kabuto confesses.

"...Would you come with me if I asked you to?"

Kabuto pauses. Would he? He was curious about where she came from. If he could find a way to travel between universes at will then, most definitely.

"...I would consider it." he answers.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Author's note: Welp. That happened. They couldn't really dance around it forever now could they? Not entirely sure I liked how this turned out, but I needed to move the plot along.


	15. Why Snakes?

Author's Note: Hi everyone. I see this story has been added to a community for self insert OCs while I was asleep. I really should hold off on writing this story and focus on writing my papers but I keep getting ideas. Then after I finish a chapter, another idea comes around. What is this magic? If you guys haven't already figured out, this is basically my first fanfic. I've attempted to start a couple but this is the longest thing I've written in my entire life.

Also, I uploaded a picture of Marie's appearance as my profile picture, in case you're curious. Yes. It is a picture of me. Yes. I'm that lazy. They don't call 'em self inserts for nothing.

Anyhoo. Review replies!

Tabue2000: you're so sweet for saying that. I don't think Kabuto would try and take over Earth Prime, persay. He's more of an extreme self improvement sort of guy rather than a conqueror. There's a good chance he'd try and live a normal life as a doctor or something. Buuut there's also a good chance he'd delve into dangerous medical research as well because well, he's Kabuto.

[Marie]

I woke up alone that morning. A note next the bedside clock read:

"Meeting with Sasori-sama today. I will be gone all day. We'll talk tonight. Orochimaru-sama will be arriving at noon to retrieve you for your first lesson.

⁃Kabuto"

I read the note and collapse on the bed in defeat. Last night was a mix of success and defeat. The dinner with Orochimaru went swimmingly. However I may have accidentally let loose a secret that could either prove to my benefit or prove to kill Naruto canon. I decided, in a rash attempt to save Kabuto, to slowly reveal information on a need to know basis.

As much as I wanted to preserve the happy ending of the epilogue, I also wanted to change Kabuto's role in the upcoming war. I wanted Itachi to live to see his adorable niece. I was in a position to influence three characters. I also asked Kabuto to return home with me. In hindsight that may have not been the best idea.

First of all, why would he even consider going back to my universe? How would he support himself without an identity? Where would he live? Since I live with my parents in my universe, he sure as hell couldn't live with me and my Bible Belt parents.

...For that matter, how would I introduce him to my parents? 'Hey, mom and dad, this is my new boyfriend, Kabuto Yakushi. He's a medical ninja! Plus we're sleeping together and I've been living with him in his boss's secret lair for weeks! So, can he be my date for Michelle and Trevor's wedding in December so I'm not the failure spinster of an elder sister who hasn't even obtained her bachelors degree at age 25?' Yeah. That'd totally go over well.

I suppose Michelle would like him, since they're both in the medical field and she also went through a Naruto phase as a child, though hers was much MUCH more embarrassing than mine, in my opinion.

I check the time. 9am. Three hours until Japanese Made Easy with Lord Orochimaru. I roll out of bed and trudge towards the shower.

[Orochimaru]

Orochimaru is a busy man with many many ongoing projects that would widely considered to be on their way to making world changing breakthroughs.

He was often perceived as having a god complex as he had achieved immortality. By others, 'evil' because he lead the attack on Konoha during the Chūnin exams a few years back.

Neither of these assumptions were correct. Even though Orochimaru was essentially immortal, he was still far from achieving his goal of becoming the ultimate being. As for the Konoha Invasion; they had it coming, plain and simple.

Orochimaru was first and foremost a scientist, which he considered to be a rarity in the Five Great Nations. He wants to discover new discoveries, and learn everything there is to know about everything; a goal few people had tried to achieve, but Orochimaru was an ambitious man.

His favorite subordinate Kabuto's young lover was yet another study on the human condition. She was epitome of frailty, as she seemed to not posses an ounce of chakra, the lifeforce of all living matter.

In addition to her unique condition, Orochimaru felt the need to personally familiarize himself with the girl, as she had caught the interest of his favorite pupil.

Kabuto was not the kind of man to even consider entering a long term romantic relationship. Orochimaru had always suspected he was either too in love with his work or asexual, but was proven wrong as of a week ago.

So, in an effort to get to know the woman who managed to do the impossible and bed Yakushi Kabuto consistently, he offered his services to her as a mentor of sorts, which she had graciously accepted.

He was relieved that his right hand man had found himself a woman. Kabuto had always shared his master's passion for his work and Orochimaru had been worried that the boy would end up like his master: powerful, yet alone. Kabuto didn't deserve to be alone for the rest of his life. Unlike Orochimaru, Kabuto never choose the path of loneliness; it was always forcefully thrust upon him.

[Marie]

The bell rang at noon sharp. I open the door and I'm greeted to a smiling Orochimaru.

"Hello...do you prefer Orochimaru-sama or Lord Orochimaru? I'm not entirely sure what to call you." I babble.

You'd think I'd be used to meeting 'Naruto' characters by now since I am now currently in a "relationship" with Yakushi Kabuto. The novelty factor of Sasuke even wore off after the third meeting or so. But nope, seeing Orochimaru in the flesh still surprises me.

Orochimaru smiles. "Just Orochimaru, my dear. I know Western Common isn't too keen on titles. Are you ready to go?"

I nod and he beckons me to follow him.

"I thought you might want some fresh air for our first lesson, so we're going outside the hideout." says Orochimaru.

I laugh. "That'd be great, sir."

We walk in silence for awhile until we reach the mouth of the cave. Orochimaru unwraps a scroll and places it on the ground.

I give him a skeptical look. "You're..not going to summon a giant snake are you?"

"That is exactly what I'm doing." he answers. Orochimaru places his palm on the seal and it lights up.

I scream and run back into the cave as fast as I could, until I found an large rock to crawl behind in fear.

I hear laughter from behind my rock sanctuary. "Don't be shy, Marie-chan. Come on out. He won't harm you."

"ARE YOU SURE, SIR? BECAUSE I HAVE A THING ABOUT SNAKES." I yell.

"I promise no harm will come to you. Don't be ridiculous."

I slowly approach the mouth of the cave with as much caution as I can muster. I see the giant snake. The giant snake will not harm me. The giant snake is my friend. I will be friends with the giant snake. I repeat these words over and over in my head as I approach the giant snake.

"See? That wasn't so bad, was it?" Orochimaru offers me his hand and I board the giant snake.

We ride for a few minutes at seemingly lightning speed until we reach a clearing with a lake. Orochimaru sits on the bank and motions me to join him.

"So...all this to learn Eastern Common?" I ask.

"Actually today you won't be learning much of anything. I want to get to know the woman who stole my right hand man's heart." he answers.

"You're quite the hands on boss, aren't you?"

"Well, I tend to take an interest in the lives of those under my wing. Kabuto, you see, is one of my first protégées and arguably the one who has shown the most promise."

"So, basically this is a thinly veiled excuse for you to talk to me one on one. Without Kabuto." I say.

Orochimaru nods. "I worry about the boy. His wellbeing is important to me."

"He's...a complex man who is difficult to understand, I agree. How old was he when you found him?" I ask.

"Twelve or thirteen. So young and angry at the world that had dealt him a bad hand."

"Yeah, no kidding. He had it rough."

"Kabuto-kun told you about his past? That's surprising, since he is literally incapable of doing so." Oops. I mentally kick myself. Why am I so stupid?

"Ummm..well you see I...am a bit of a clairvoyant." A lie, but I wasn't ready to explain the alternate universe thing to Orochimaru just yet.

"Fascinating...so you see things sometimes?"

"Not often and only with certain people. Kabuto, I got to see major events of his 'childhood'. It made me angry."

Orochimaru nods in agreement.

We talk for several hours, which I'm surprised that Orochimaru had that kind of time. When I asked him about it he mentioned that he had two clones taking over his usual daily duties.

When we got back to the hideout. Orochimaru escorts me back to Kabuto's quarters.

"Have a good evening, my dear." says Orochimaru. He bows and disappears with a puff of smoke. I enter the apartment and Kabuto is at his desk in the living room, dressed in a large hooded cloak, scribbling away in his notebook. I walk further into the apartment and he places the pen down and gets out of the chair to greet me with an embrace and a kiss on the cheek.

"So, what's with the getup?" I ask.

"I conceal my face during these meetings with genjutsu. The hood makes it easier for me to hold it." he explains.

I smile "It's kinda attractive."

Kabuto grins. "Of course you'd say that."

"Anyway, you left me an ominous 'we need to talk' note this morning. What was that all about?"

"I wasn't certain before my meeting with Sasori-sama, but now I think I understand what you meant by conditions being met."

"Um..okay. What happened?" I ask.

"The Akatsuki are moving to capture the Bijuu in Sand. Tonight."

Author's Note: Yes my younger sister is actually getting married in December and unlike Marie, I have a lovely boyfriend who's going to be my date. Just some trivia there.

Every new follow, favorite and review I get in my inbox makes me ridiculously happy, you have no idea. Please enjoy!


	16. Who are you?

[Marie]

"I guess...it's time."

I hang my head in my hands. Sure I had at least one hundred episodes until Kabuto inevitably loses his damn mind. Could I do it? Should I do it?

Could I trust Kabuto at this point? He's been manipulating me from the beginning after all.

I growl in frustration.

"Is...there a problem?" asks Kabuto quietly.

"Shut up I'm trying to think." I stand up and pace the entire length of the apartment.

Kabuto sits back down at his desk and blankly watches me angrily pace back and forth.

I want to tell him. I want to help him. I want to reveal to him what I know. But I know I can't trust him. Then, it hits me.

It's time to psychoanalyze.

"Kabuto. Before I say anything, we have to talk." I say, taking a seat on the couch.

Kabuto leans on his desk. "About what?"

"About you."

"...What about me?"

I sigh and rub my eyes. This was going to be difficult.

"Kabuto, my dear. You...have some problems that we need to talk through."

Kabuto stares at me. Nope. I can't I can't. I get off the couch and pace the apartment again.

"Is this going anywhere?" he asks.

"It is, it is! I promise. This..is going to be difficult for me."

I breath deeply. Here I go. I grab Kabuto's notebook and pen and open it to a blank page.

"Kabuto. You are a spy, correct? You are good at your job, yes?"

"...are you sure this is going somewhere?" he asks again, his eyebrows raised in suspicion.

"Just...answer. I promise you that this is going somewhere."

Kabuto sighs. "Yes, I am a skilled spy. I excel at blending into the background and gathering information."

I write:

⁃Excellent at blending into background

⁃Specializes in gathering information while blending into background (separate skill, requires extra stealth)

"Okay. Now. You are also excellent at medical ninjutsu, are you not? You've even studied the western equivalent, correct?"

"...yes"

I add:

⁃Professional med-nin

⁃White mage extraordinaire.

"Also. You preform experiments in varying fields. Tell me, which fields?"

"Sealing, ninjutsu, genjutsu, medical abnormalities, extracting abilities-"

I cut him off. "I think I got it."

I add:

⁃Mad Scientist

I title the list "Who is Kabuto Yakushi?"

"What are you writing?" asks Kabuto.

I grin and hand him the list. "This is you. This is who you are. You know, I could add so many things to that list but those are the main points. What I am trying to say is: Kabuto. Honey. Sweetie. I am very much aware of your identity crisis brought on by severe childhood trauma."

Kabuto raises an eyebrow. "Why are you psychoanalyzing me?"

My eyes narrow. "I am also aware that you only started this relationship because I have information that you can't wait to get your hands on. I went along with it because, full disclosure, I had a gigantic crush on you at the age of 14!" I exclaim.

Kabuto snorts. "Really?"

"Yeah...you were the cute older guy at the Chūnin Exams and even when it was revealed you were a spy I still had a crush on you."

Kabuto chokes back a laugh at the image. To be fair, it's a funny image. I was a weird kid.

"What I am trying to say is that I want to give you the information you desire. But first you're going to have to come to terms with your place in the world."

"And how am I supposed to do that?"

I roll my eyes. "Please refer to the list. That is you. The bare basics. If we wanted to get technical I would also add 'excellent in bed' and ' looks great naked' to that list as well, but I figured we'd stick with professional answers."

Kabuto smirks smugly. "You really care about me, don't you?"

"I always have. Even more so since I've actually spent time with you. The real you has surfaced himself every now and then, you know. Behind all the façades. I've met him. He's a cool guy."

"Is he? I don't think I've had the pleasure of meeting him."

"He makes excellent eggs."

[Kabuto]

Marie left to go for an evening stroll leaving Kabuto alone to make dinner.

He glances at the list on the desk and smiles. It was actually a valiant effort in his opinion.

He'd never really had someone besides Orochimaru-sama offer to help find his own identity. It was...actually quite nice.

He's enjoyed the feeling of living with another person these past few days. It was something foreign to him since he'd been alone most of his life.

Sure, there were many, many things about Marie that annoyed him. Her constant use of slang that wouldn't translate to his world, the way she would leave clothes and books all over the apartment and the fact that she was lazier than that one Nara kid. Above all, the one thing that bothered him the most about her was the fact that she almost never took anything seriously.

Kabuto found that he couldn't keep his hands off of her most of the time. He'd grown accustomed to her constant presence in his apartment. In short, he had grown attached to her.

Despite all of this, he still constantly reminded himself that she was also privy to several future events. He wanted to establish an identity in this world, not just for himself, but so he'd be such an asset that no one would dare try to get rid of him. He still had to achieve something no one had ever achieved before.

Marie was an open book. She knew that was his goal. Yet she was trying to convince him that if he made a simple list, his identity would be exposed. She was wrong, as he currently had no identity. He was nobody. He had always been nobody for his entire life. He refused to die as nobody.

Author's note: I actually had a completely different chapter written a few hours ago. I realized it was waaaay too OOC and trashed it. Then I watched a few episodes of Shippuden and realized I got a ton of details wrong. Like they move hideouts every week. Yeah no. Not in this story.

But anyway, so I rewatched a bit of the 4th War arc, including the most of the fight between Kabuto and the Uchiha brothers. It's obvious Kabuto is high as a kite on his own power at that point. Then came the flashback episode and I basically yelled at my screen for an hour and this chapter was born as a result. I like how it turned out for once, short as it is.

Anyway, to reply to my regular reviewer Tabue2000: it's not exactly confidence that made me post a picture, it was more I wanted readers to have a reference because I didn't feel I was describing my OC as well as I needed to. Anyhoo. Thanks for reading3

Let me know what you think! I survive on feedback! Thanks for reading!


	17. I am Nobody

[Marie]

After my failed therapy session with Kabuto, I felt the need to get some fresh air. Map in hand, I made my way to the front of the cave. It was quite a lovely evening; the sun was beginning to set and the temperature was perfect.

Apparently Sasuke had the same idea as I had, as he was already outside when I exited the hideout.

"Hey, Sasuke-kun. Long time no see! How was your trip?"

"Miserable." he answers while staring blankly into the distance.

"Well aren't you a little ray of sunshine this evening. Want to join me on my stroll? I'm not going far and I could use a pair of ears."

Sasuke nods and follows me out of the hideout.

"So I ran into one of your teammates yesterday."

Sasuke smirks. "Which one? Naruto?"

"Nah, the one with the pink hair."

"Sakura."

"Yeah. Her. You know shes gotten quite beautiful."

Sasuke says nothing.

I continue. "Do you know she has been studying under the Fifth Hokage for the past few years? She's gotten quite skilled."

"Hn. Has she? Has she gotten any less annoying?"

I grin. "I don't know. I didn't speak to her. I had the pleasure of being waited on by her blonde friend."

"Ino."

"Mm yes, they make quite the team."

"...I really don't care."

Tch. So irritating.

"Well, you should."

"Why?"

"Because they're your team."

"Not anymore."

I resist the urge to bash my head into a tree. I grit my teeth and take a deep breath.

"Sasuke. They consider you family."

"My family is dead."

"Sasuke. In the wise, wise words of Dean Winchester: Family don't end in blood. The people who care about you? That's your family."

"Dean Winchester is an idiot. Family is blood."

"Dean Winchester is actually similar to Itachi in a way. He went through hell, in his case literally, so that his little brother could live. And while he was in hell, his little brother started down a path of obtaining power that ended up starting the apocalypse."

"Apoca-whut?"

"The end of the world. Hell on Earth."

"Did Dean Winchester also kill his entire family?"

I sigh. "No, but that's not the point I'm trying to make."

"Then what are you trying to say?"

This boy...

"Sasuke. In the weeks I've been here, I've come to care about you. You're the block headed little brother I never had. I consider you family."

Sasuke says nothing and continues walking.

"Anyway. You know how I know things? Want to hear a tiny bit of your future?"

Sasuke looks at me skeptically. "You can see the future too?"

I shrug. "Not really. But I know a tiny bit about yours."

Sasuke shoots me another skeptical glance.

"You will father a beautiful and talented little girl who won't know her own dad until she is twelve years old."

"Why?"

"Because you were so ashamed of what you had done, you left that little girl with her mother so you could go on a journey of redemption."

"Is that so? Who was her mother?"

I glare. "Spoilers."

"You just told me that I would father a daughter. Isn't that a spoiler?"

"Yes, but I told you about her to make you think about your current actions. If you had a daughter, would you want her to grow up without a father?"

"Of course not."

"Then make choices you won't regret later. If you won't do it for me, do it for the next generation of the Uchiha clan."

"I'm still going to kill Itachi. I've come to far to stop now."

"Gawd, Sasuke. Did you listen to a word I said?"

Kabuto had dinner ready when I got back.

"Have a nice walk?" he asks.

I glare at him. "I ran into Sasuke."

"By your demeanor I'm assuming it wasn't pleasant." he observes, taking a seat on the bar stool and sipping from his wine glass, his plate already drying on the rack. I was gone longer than I planned.

I sit in the other chair and pick at my chicken pensively. "He's as stubborn as you are. Maybe worse."

"Heh. Is that so?"

"I did something rash. He wasn't listening to me, so I revealed an important part of his future. It was vague enough that I don't think it'll have any bad consequences. In fact I hoped it'd make him think about his current path in life." I take a bite of chicken, chewing angrily.

"And?"

"And it did absolutely nothing." I slam the fork on the table. Tears well up from my eyes.

"I'm sorry. Sasuke-kun is...difficult."

I finish my dinner in melancholy silence. Kabuto watches me while he drinks with a curious expression. He follows me to the couch when I finish. I flop on the couch, attempting to not have an emotional outburst.

"What's wrong?" he asks.

I snort. "Do you actually care what's wrong?"

"Well...I'm curious."

"I'm...not cut out for any of this." I say.

"Cut out for what?"

"Changing things for the better. Honestly I wasn't aiming too high, but I've already failed miserably and I've barely begun to try. You and Sasuke are too set on your goals to see that it's destroying you."

Kabuto sighs and pulls me towards his chest, resting his chin in my hair.

"It's not your duty to change anything. You're nothing here. Just like me." Kabuto kisses the top of my head.

"Kabuto..."

"Yes?"

"You're not nothing to me." I mumble.

"Heh. That's very kind of you to say. Thank you."

We cuddle on the couch for the rest of the night in mostly silence, two nobodies taking comfort in one another.

Author's note: This is kind of a transition chapter, since I plan on doing a tiny time skip in the next chapter.

I actually think Sam and Dean Winchester have more in common with Ed and Al Elric than the Uchiha bros to be honest. It just kind of fit my narrative to mention then older brother going through hell for the little brother, only for the little brother to basically screw everything up.

This was a bit sadder than what I usually write. Drama is difficult.

Enjoy! Tell me what you think!


	18. The Hostage

[Marie]

A month flew by. Kabuto and I had settled into a sort of an understanding.

We still classified ourselves as a couple despite revealing our true intentions to one another. Really, it was just an excuse to continue sleeping together since it was an activity that both of us enjoyed way too much to halt.

My lessons with Orochimaru progressed slowly. Two weeks and I had just now mastered the alphabet. Two weeks later I could hold a simple conversation. Orochimaru was patient with me, and Kabuto would tutor me in the evenings. He was much less patient and our sessions usually ended in frustrated hate sex, because that's apparently how we solve problems in the Yakushi-Baxter household.

Sasuke had stopped taking lessons from me as he could now hold a full conversations in English at ease. We would still meet together on our evening walks on occasion. I had ceased trying to push Sasuke onto another path. The boy was way too stubborn. Most of our conversations consisted of small talk, with me doing most of the talking.

Overall it was a good life, all things considered. I actually forgot about the invasion until it was happening.

I was outside for once, re reading "Icha Icha Tactics" again for the...honestly I've lost count how many times I've read this damn book.

Usually I did my reading at home, but today I felt like I needed a change in scenery. All three of my boys had gone on missions, so the entire hideout was eerily empty and it creeped me out.

I lay in the grass under a tree that seemed bare of bugs, my book on my face. I was halfway through and my eyes had gotten drowsy so I was resting them for a bit.

Suddenly I hear an explosion. I grab my book and scramble to a sitting position cursing. Time to go. I run toward home as fast as I could. Of course then I trip over a rock and fall face first into the dirt. I feel a woosh and voices above me.

Someone picks me up. It's Kabuto. Orochimaru is beside him, slightly worse for wear. And with them...is...

"Sai.." I whisper.

Sai "smiles". ("Do I know you?")

Kabuto lets me down and brushes the dirt off of my clothes. "Apologies. This is Marie, my lover. She sees things sometimes."

"What things?" asks Sai.

"Things." I say.

I look at Kabuto. He's beat up pretty badly. He notices the concern in my eyes.

"I'll be fine." he says. "Let's just get home." He bends down so I can get on his back and he runs home at lightning speed.

Once we get to the entrance he puts me down.

"Go home. Lock the door." I shake my head. "They're not going to hurt me. Besides. I want to watch this."

Kabuto sighs. "Then get a safe distance. Don't get caught."

"What if I do?"

"Then they'll probably take you into custody."

"And? Would you stage a rescue mission?"

Kabuto snorts. "Do I really need to say it?"

"Yes. Yes you do."

"I will retrieve you. It may take some time, but I will get you out of there. I promise."

Kabuto pulls me to him, capturing my lips with his before releasing me.

"Go, now!"

And so I run. I hide behind a boulder. It was too bad that boulder was already taken by another guy.

I wasn't expecting to see him so I scream. He clamps my mouth with his hand.

("Quiet!") he says. I recognize him after studying his features. Yamato.

He says something else but I don't understand him. I mumble "What?" in hopes that he understands English.

He curses in Eastern. "You...not scream?" he says.

I nod. He slowly removes his hand from my mouth.

"Do I...need to get my own rock?" I ask.

Yamato shakes his head. "Stay. I can share. But whisper."

"Marie."

"Yamato."

("Nice to meet you, Yamato") I say in my terrible Eastern.

"Why are you hiding, Marie?"

"Secret. What about you?"

"Secret too." I remember that Yamato had a clone follow Sai or something like that. This arc was a bit hazy to me.

"Are you...shinobi?" asks Yamato.

I shake my head. "I'm just a girl."

"It's dangerous. You must leave."

"I'm staying."

Yamato sighs and makes a hand seal. Another clone appears in a puff of smoke.

The clone grabs me bridal style and takes off in the opposite direction.

"Hey! What are you doing!?" I say.

"You don't listen. Dangerous." says the clone.

"Where are you taking me?"

"Safe place. Not far."

We stop at a wooden house in the woods. He brings me inside, locks the door and disappears in a puff of smoke.

[Sakura]

The mission to retrieve Sasuke failed miserably. The boy apparently didn't want to be saved.

Sakura was devastated but she suspected Naruto was even more devastated.

"So, I forgot to tell you guys in all the excitement. I picked up a foreign civilian a few hours ago and placed her in the safe house." says Yamato.

"How did you know she was foreign?" asks Sakura.

"She speaks the language of the Earth country. I'm afraid my Western Common is terrible, so she may be a little shaken. Can any of you kids speak it?"

"I can." says Sai. "Quite well, actually."

Yamato sighs in relief. "That's good. I hate speaking that language. The pronunciation is so stupid and the grammar is ridiculously complicated."

"Don't worry, I will speak to her." says Sai.

"Yamato-sensei, are you sure Sai is the best person to talk to a scared civilian? He's...Sai. He might make it worse."

"Well, Sakura, can you speak Western Common?" asks Yamato.

"Um...a little. I'm far from fluent though." admits Sakura. She took it as an elective at the Academy and Tsunade-sama had made sure she could hold conversations in the language.

"Well, I guess both of you can try and calm her down. I'm going to stand outside with Naruto. That alright with you?"

"..Yeah. That's fine." mumbles Naruto. Sakura gives him a sympathetic glance. Poor thing. He was so excited about getting Sasuke-kun back only to be stabbed in the back by his best friend.

They reach the safe house and Yamato and Naruto stand outside. Yamato waves.

"Good luck!"

[Marie]

It's been hours. The sun has set, so now I can't even read my damn book. Wood Boy was so going to pay for this when he got back.

The door clicks. I jump from the stairwell.

"Well it's ABOUT DAMN TIME- wait. You're not Wood Boy."

Sai and Sakura stare at me, flashlight in their hands.

A look of recognition flashes across Sai's face.

"Marie. I see you got caught."

[Sakura]

Sakura blanches when her teammate immediately recognized the civilian in custody. She pulled Sai aside by the arm.

"Hold up. You know her?"

Sai "smiles". " I only met her today. She is Kabuto's lover."

Sakura shudders. Ew. Sure, Kabuto was extremely handsome but she couldn't imagine him with a woman due to his dual nature. But then again she remembers seeing Kabuto in disguise a month ago with a girl during that awful retail mission Ino dragged her into.

"You know if she's Kabuto's lover we can't let her go, right? She may have information." says Sakura.

The girl in question walks up to them.

("You know I'm standing right here?") she grumbles.

("Apologies, ma'am. But you are going to have to come with us to Konoha") says Sakura.

("Why?") the girl asks.

("You may help us in retrieving Sasuke Uchiha.")

The girl laughs hard. ("I would love to help, but unless you can defeat him in battle, he's not going to come back.")

Sakura shakes, her hand forming into a fist on instinct. Kabuto's lover was right. But it still made her angry.

[Marie]

Damn it. Why didn't I listen to Kabuto when he told me to just go home? Not one of my brightest ideas.

Now I get to tell Sasuke's future wife that I had tried to send him home and failed miserably to her face.

Sakura was staring at me with intensity.

"You...tried to send Sasuke-kun back?" she asks in a wavering voice.

"Believe me, I tried everything. I'm sorry." I say.

"Can you..tell us where he is now?"

I shake my head. "I can't. I'm sorry." I wanted to give her a hug. Poor thing.

[Kabuto]

Marie had gotten herself captured. Because of course she did.

Luckily Kabuto had anticipated something like this happening so he planted a tracking device in her pocket when he kissed her goodbye. Like hell Konoha was getting their dirty hands on his girl.

The wood man and the nine-tails were outside. He figured it was worth a try to ask nicely before he used force.

The kid spotted him first and immediately sprang into an attack position. "Kabuto!"

Kabuto held up his hands. "I'm not here to fight. I just came to retrieve someone."

"Yeah right. Like hell you are." growls Naruto.

"It's true. You're currently holding a young woman in that house are you not?"

"Why is that any of your business?"

[Marie]

There are voices outside. Sai cracks open the door to investigate.

("It's Kabuto") he says to Sakura. My eyes light up.

"KABUTO GET ME OUT OF HERE." I yell. Sure I wanted to visit Konoha someday, but if I went now I couldn't be a positive influence on my idiot boyfriend when he needed me most.

[Kabuto]

Kabuto smirks at Yamato when he hears Marie scream his name excitedly from the house.

"See? It is my business."

Naruto cringes. "She actually wants to go with you? Why?"

"Because we're together." says Kabuto casually.

Both Yamato and Naruto share equal looks of disgust.

"Can I have her back now?" he asks.

"Well, it appears she does want to leave with you. And I'm not going to hold a harmless civilian against her will." says Yamato, scratching his head.

"SERIOUSLY, Yamato-sensei? I mean...it's Kabuto." exclaims Naruto.

At that moment, the door swings open and Marie happily runs towards Kabuto. He catches her in his arms and they kiss, much to the disgust of Team Kakashi.

"...yeah, sure. She can go with you. That's fine. Whatever." mumbles Naruto.

Kabuto releases Marie from his embrace and turns to Yamato.

"Thank you for keeping her safe. No hard feelings, I hope?"

"You're still scum, Kabuto." grumbles Naruto which earns him a punch in the head from his female teammate.

("Guys, it's been fun. I'll yell at Sasuke for you when I get home") says Marie. She walks over to Sakura and gives her a hug. She waves to everyone and climbs on Kabuto's back.

[Marie]

"So, did you have fun?" asks Kabuto.

"Actually I spent most of today in a wooden box. I don't consider that to be a whole lot of fun."

"I'd imagine it'd be quite dull." he comments.

"I DID get to meet Sasuke's future bride though. That was fun."

"How surprising. Sasuke actually marries a woman?"

"Mhm...!"

"So tell me...do you know my ultimate future?" asks Kabuto not so subtly.

I laugh. "Spoilers."

Author's note: this was hard to write. The language barrier was a gigantic pain. I think I'm going to go write a few fluff chapters. Is that alright with you guys?

Review replies!

Tabue2000: yeah. It was a bit sad but I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Enjoy the chapter! Feedback is much appreciated!


	19. Delirious

[Tsunade]

"YOU LET HER GO!?"

Tsunade rubbed her temples in frustration. They *so* did not pay her enough for this shit.

"My apologies, Hokage-sama, but she was a civilian, and a foreigner. It was not a part of our mission parameters to take her in for questioning." says Yamato.

"Yeah. Plus she grossed us out by making out with Kabuto right in front of us." adds Naruto.

Tsunade rolls her eyes. Children. All of them.

"That is when you capture both of them and bring them in! I shouldn't have to remind you four that Yakushi Kabuto is Orochimaru's top agent."

"It just...ah. Kinda threw us off guard, Tsunade-sama." says Sakura.

"Fine. Whatever. You're dismissed."

Team Kakashi (minus Kakashi) bow in respect and leave the office. Once the coast was clear, Tsunade reaches under her desk for her saké and takes a long swig straight from the bottle.

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[Marie]

You know, being taken somewhere against your will really puts things in perspective.

I never really considered the hideout as "home" until I got caught in the middle of the second arc of Shippuden. I guess now I consider it my home in another universe.

I fly through the door of our apartment with glee. Kabuto follows behind me, less enthused. He also had the look of someone who had just been hit by a bus...and survived. He stumbles and I attempt to hold him up.

"Hey, you alright?"

Kabuto nods weakly. "I exhausted my chakra during the fighting."

"You don't fight much, do you?"

"Bookworms like me aren't really very good in a fight" he says. "I'm going to go take a shower."

I nod. "Let me know if you need any help."

Kabuto laughs. "I think I can handle myself." He limps towards the bathroom and shuts the door.

I shrug and get ready for bed. I'm writing in my notebook when Kabuto emerges twenty minutes later clad in nothing but boxers. He was cleaner but still looked as if he was hit by a bus.

He lies down on his side of the bed. I close my notebook and turn off the light and lay down on my pillow facing him. He moves closer to me entangling his legs with mine .

"What were you writing?" he murmurs softly.

"What happened today. My feelings about it and stuff."

"I see. It's not every day we get uninvited guests."

"I get why they came. Sasuke is important to Naruto and Sakura. To them, he's family." I say.

Kabuto untangles his legs from mine. "Turn around." he whispers. I turn around and he spoons me, retangling his legs with mine.

"Better" he murmurs, placing a light kiss against my hair.

"You're all touchy feely tonight, Kabuto. What's the occasion?" I ask.

"I'm tired...my chakra reserves are extremely low and I enjoy your close proximity." he whispers, placing a kiss at my temple.

"So..that makes you extremely affectionate for no reason?"

"Do I need a reason to be affectionate?"

I smile. "No, you don't. It's just so out of character is all."

Kabuto laughs softly. "I'm exhausted and there is a beautiful woman in my arms. Any man in my situation would shower the beautiful woman with kisses and whisper sweet nothings in her ear."

I choke down a giggle. I like tired and delirious Kabuto. He's adorable.

"You should sleep. Get your chakra back."

"Mmmm but I have yet to tell you how lovely you are." he murmurs, moving downwards to kiss my bare shoulder. "And how much I enjoy your presence." Another kiss to my hair. "How well we fit together" a sleepy kiss on my neck.

"Sleep. Now. Before you embarrass yourself." I say.

Kabuto is silent. I turn around slightly and sure enough, he is sound asleep.

I smile and snuggle into his chest.

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Author's note: oh god I needed to write something fluffy after that. I figured he'd be exhausted after all that fighting and rescuing so it'd make sense that he'd be deliriously tired: you know, so tired you're basically drunk on sleep deprivation. Anyway. This is super super short. It's more of an afterward/epilogue to the arc. Next chapter will probably be more fluff.

Review replies:

Tabue2000: Actually Kabuto thought Sasuke wasn't interested in anything except training and killing Itachi in that order. The fact that he'd actually marry a woman and reproduce baffles him since he basically doesn't care about anything else.


	20. Serious as Sasuke

[Marie]

In the month that I had lived with Kabuto, he had never woken up after me. I had always woke up to an empty bed.

This morning, however, I woke up enclosed in warmth. The battles must had taken an bigger toll on him than he lead me to believe.

I decided to stay in bed until he woke up at least. I wouldn't mind being showered with affection before I got out of bed.

I snuggle closer into Kabuto's chest, and sigh in content.

My movement made him stir.

"..Kabuto?"

"Hmm..?"

"Morning." I turn around in his arms. He smiles sleepily and kisses my nose.

"Good morning. Have you been awake long?"

I shake my head. "Nope. Feeling better?"

"A little. I'm afraid I have to stay in bed today."

I grin. "Oh really? Do you need company?"

"I'm afraid I also cannot engage in sexual activities either."

I roll my eyes. "I meant to take care of you. Make breakfast, give you medicine, keep you company..that sort of thing. Geez, you're injured. Despite what you may think I do have common sense."

"I know, I'm merely joking."

"Are you hungry?"

Kabuto shakes his head. "I think I may go back to sleep. My chakra is still very low."

"Okay. Hey, do we have any large weapons in the apartment? I need to beat a teenage boy to a pulp."

"My dear, you are incapable of beating Sasuke-kun to a pulp, no matter how much you wish to." he says sleepily.

"But he needs to be taught a lesson." I whine.

"According to your sense of morality, yes. Sasuke-kun simply has a goal and he intends to see it through without emotional ties."

I sigh. "You're just as bad as him."

"Oh, I wouldn't say that. I let you weasel yourself into my bed, did I not?" he jokes, nuzzling my neck.

"And into your heart~?" I ask, wagging my eyebrows suggestively.

Kabuto laughs and buries his face in my neck. "Almost. I have grown quite fond of you."

"Hm. I guess I'll take it. For now at least." I smile and ruffle Kabuto's hair affectionately. He leans into me and plants several kisses on my neck before releasing me and rolling over onto his back.

"I feel better already. Still, I need to rest so I can replenish my chakra."

"How can you tell that it's low?" I ask.

"It's hard to describe. I've never met anyone without chakra before. It's...kind of a feeling, I suppose."

"Sounds vague." I say.

"It might sound that way to someone who is incapable of producing chakra."

"I've been here for almost two months now and it still baffles me that chakra is an actual thing that exists. Ooh! Question! What do they call chakra in the west?"

I'd played enough fantasy video games to know the answer, but I still wanted him to confirm so I didn't sound too much like a giant nerd.

"Mana."

"Hah! I knew it!" Score for nerd knowledge!

"Really? How do you know those terms."

"Well...in my world, that sort of stuff is considered fantasy. I read a lot of fiction. As you put it, I'm a bit of a bookworm."

"Heh. I see. I never have time to read for fun anymore. During my missions for the Leaf, I used to read quite often, so I wouldn't look suspicious, and because I was bored."

"Hehe. You were a cute kid." I say.

"Was I? I don't recall anyone telling me that I was."

"Those glasses took up half of your face and they made your eyes look huge. So adorable."

Kabuto places his hands behind his head and smiles.

I sit up on the bed and lean down for a kiss, which he responds to with enthusiasm.

I break off the kiss before it gets too heated. He was on bedrest after all, it was best not to encourage anything too passionate.

"I should make us breakfast. Is eggs okay? It's all I can make."

Kabuto nods. "I think I'll move to the couch. Talking to you has woken me up in more ways than one." He winks and gets out of bed and pulls a black shirt from the closet and pulls it on before heading to the living room.

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After breakfast, I decide to leave Kabuto alone and leave the apartment for some Sasuke shaming. Sadly, Kabuto refused to disclose the location of any weapons and I don't think Orochimaru would lend me any of his weapons. So I decided to simply ambush him in his quarters. Map in hand, I navigate through the maze to Sasuke's quarters.

I bang on the door. "Yo. Sasuke."

Silence.

I knock again. "Sasuke. I know you're in there. Get your chicken ass out of here and face me."

The door opens. Sasuke stands in the door way sporting a look of bewilderment.

"Chicken ass?"

I swing my left fist at his face. He immediately blocks it with ease, keeping a firm grip on my wrist. I swing my right fist and he grabs my right wrist as well.

"Let me...punch you.." I growl.

"No."

I kick at his shins. He retaliated by lifting me off the ground with one hand.

I flail. "Let me go!" I kick in his direction but the kid holds me at an arms length.

"Not until you stop trying to attack me." Sasuke says flatly.

"You need to be pummeled for your behavior, jackass."

"I made my decision to cut ties with them years ago. I wish you'd understand that."

"Sasuke, cutting ties is one thing but what you're doing is antagonizing the people who love you." I grumble.

"You have your ways. I have mine. Come back when you've calmed down, Marie-sensei." With that, he drops me on the ground and slams the door.

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I return to the apartment in shame. Kabuto is on the couch reading a novel.

"So, how did your visit with Sasuke-kun go?" he asks when I walk into the apartment. I slam the door angrily.

"That well, hm?"

I flop in Kabuto's desk chair.

"Hey, Kabuto. When you recover, can you train me in taijutsu? Pretty please?" I ask.

"Heh. I'm not sure I'm the one to ask. Orochimaru-sama is the far better instructor."

"I'm not asking to become a master or anything. I just want to land a punch on Sasuke's stupid face. Also it wouldn't hurt for me to learn how to defend myself. Pleaaaaaase?" I beg.

"Fine. But only if you're serious about this."

"I'm as serious as Sasuke."

Kabuto laughs. "That's pretty damn serious."

"I'm very serious about wanting to punch him in the face."

"...Marie, you know that's an impossible goal. I asked you to be serious." Kabuto gives me a stern look.

"Sorry. I'll be good. I really do want to learn how to defend myself."

"Alright then. We start as soon as I recover. Be prepared. I don't intend to go easy on you."

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Author's note: I gotta learn how to write action scenes. Dialogue is easy, but it's hard for me to write characters moving and shit. Anyway, I'm actually planning to start a side project once finals are over.

I thought Marie needed a training arc since I've decided to ignore the anime filler arc with Kabuto going to find some of Orochimaru's experiments and shit. Instead he's going to train his girlfriend in martial arts.

Until next time, please review, follow, and enjoy!


	21. The Science of Emotion

WARNING: There is a lemon in the middle of the chapter. I have marked it for your skipping convenience.

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[Marie]

Why are morning people always considered to be the most disciplined, focused individuals? Well it's quite simple. It takes discipline to get out of bed that early.

They're also *fucking* insane. All of them. Every person who wakes up before six am is a crazy person. In my humble opinion of course.

I had consented to take my taijutsu training under Kabuto as seriously as I possibly could. I get the impression that Kabuto thinks that I fly through life without a care in the world, making jokes of everything and everyone. And I do that a lot, admittedly.

I was not expecting him to literally take me out of bed at FIVE IN THE MORNING and throw me into a tub of icy cold water on the dawn of the first day I was to start training.

"FOR THE LOVE OF GOD KABUTO WHY WOULD YOU DO SUCH A THING!?" I yell, stripping off my wet tank top and underwear and throwing them at Kabuto's face.

"You were not responding. I decided to take a more direct approach." He catches the wet clothing effortlessly and hangs them on the shower curtain rod.

Shivering, I put on clean underwear, sweatpants and a tshirt. Kabuto watches me dress with a smug look on his face.

"Ready?" he asks.

"I hope you know there's a good chance that you're sleeping on the couch tonight." I mutter angrily.

"Oh, I'm sure I can get back in your good graces in no time. I know your body better than you do at this point, you know." says Kabuto. He winks suggestively and heads towards the kitchen.

"I made toast. Eat up!"

It was going to be a long day.

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As I had predicted that morning, it was indeed a long day. A long day of weight training and push-ups and laps around the hideout. I knew I was extremely out of shape, but I didn't realize HOW out of shape I was.

We quit training around early evening. By then, I could barely walk, because my feet were not meant to run.

I have extremely flat feet, and the shoes I had been given lacked proper arch support. Therefore at the end of Kabuto's training from hell, every step I took caused extreme pain. So much pain, in fact, that I made Kabuto carry me home.

"Hey Kabuto. Remember this morning when you bragged to me that you knew my body better than I did? Guess what? You don't." I mutter sarcastically. We had retired to the couch after showering; I had placed my head in Kabuto's lap as he read through some data from an experiment he was conducting.

"I meant it in a sexual sense, not literally." argues Kabuto. "I was trying to appeal to your sensuality. Christ, Marie, you don't have chakra. According to my medical knowledge, you shouldn't be alive!"

I giggle.

"What?"

"You just referenced a religious figure that doesn't exist in this universe." I say through my giggling.

"I...did?" He places the report he was reading on the side table and throws me a confused expression, which just made me giggle more.

"And you did it subconsciously. Oh my LORD that is adorable!"

"I still don't understand. What did I say?"

"You said 'Christ'."

"I...did?"

"Mhm. My way of speaking has entered your subconscious and now you're using words you've heard me using and now you're using those same words in the context you heard me using them in. In short, I'm rubbing off on you." I explain excitedly.

"Hah. I suppose you are. Though it's normal for couples to pick up each other's speech patterns, I believe."

"How would you know? You've never actually been in a relationship before."

"Not a real one, no. I have studied sociology of relationships."

I raise an eyebrow. "Study and experience are not the same thing, you dork."

"Yes but people follow patterns. You just have to be aware of the proper patterns to apply to the correct situation." Kabuto resumes reading his report with a smug look on his face.

"So you're one of those people that believes that anything can be explained by science, even emotion?"

Kabuto nods. "Of course."

I scowl. "Then how do explain stuff like ninjutsu and summoning and shit? This world has freaking talking animals and you're telling men that all can be explained."

"Well, there's entire fields focusing on chakra usage and summoning arts."

"Hmph. Of course there are. But still, science only tells you so much. There are some things you just feel, ya know?" I huff.

"I would like to point out that feeling is simply a mix of hormones and brain chemicals-"

"You're such a romantic, Kabuto."

"And you, my dear, are extremely idealistic. My polar opposite." muses Kabuto. He strokes my hair pensively.

"You can be emotional and scientific. I'd point out that you've been conditioned since a young age to be cold and calculating but I'm pretty sure you already know that."

Kabuto chuckles. "Ahhh..you haven't pulled that on me awhile. Feeling vengeful for today, are we?"

"Damn straight. You also owe me a massage for putting my body through such trauma today."

"You're pathetic. It wasn't that bad. In fact, I went quite easy on you." Kabuto chuckles harder.

"...THAT was you going easy on me? Seriously?"

"My training was much tougher." comments Kabuto.

"Might I add that the training regimen you went through is considered child abuse by most sane people."

"Hm. I guess you do have a point." Kabuto discards the reports on the coffee table and takes off his glasses. He rubs his eyes wearily.

"So, what were you reading?"

"I have several experiments running in other hideouts that send me reports on a regular basis." he says.

"Anything I would find fascinating?"

"Hmmm..not really since you don't have chakra. So..what did I owe you again?"asks Kabuto, stretching his arms.

"A massage. As in, you soothe the muscles you destroyed. You're a med-nin, I'm sure you can do that."

Kabuto grins seductively. "I can do more than that." He takes off my glasses and places them next to his on the coffee table. He pushes my head off of his lap and stands up. After Kabuto stretches his arms and legs, he picks me up bridal style and carries me to our bedroom.

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[Lemon-fluff-thing]

Kabuto places me on the bed.

"Turn around on your belly." he says.

I do as he commands. I hear the rustle of a shirt being removed and discarded.

Hands caress my lower back under my shirt as Kabuto straddles my legs.

"Is this what you meant?" he asks as he rubs his thumbs into the muscles on my lower back. He kisses the skin between his hands and lifts my shirt a little higher, his hands and lips moving higher.

I sigh in content. "That's really sexy and all, but I actually really need you to do that to my legs and shoulders."

"Ah ah ah. All in good time I want to unravel you slowly." Kabuto's hands remain at the center of my back, his thumbs rubbing the aching muscles in firm, caressing motions while his lips move higher under my shirt to my shoulder blades.

I moan softly and lean into his hands. Kabuto removes his hands from my back to discard my shirt and continues rubbing my lower back.

"Higher..." Kabuto moved to straddle my waist, his arousal extremely obvious from the bulge pressed against my lower back, covered thinly by his pants.

His hands move to my aching shoulder blades. I moan louder.

Kabuto leans into my ear to whisper. "So, does that moan mean I get to sleep here tonight?" His hands find a particular knot that was giving me issues and I squeal.

"Mmm..maybe. We'll see." I say. His hands massage my shoulders, his thumb rubbing into my muscles that were destroyed by today's weight training, his bare chest pressing into my bare back. He moans at the skin on skin contact.

"Keep doing that." I moan, and he does, pressing his body into mine as he does.

Eventually he replaces his hands with his lips, suckling the skin softly. His hands move to cup my breasts, squeezing them slightly and moving his hands in a circular motion. I press myself into him.

"You know my legs are still sore." I say as his fingers move to my nipples.

"I know. I think I'll take you like this first." he murmurs, his fingers massaging my nipples lightly before moving to the waistband of my pants.

"Oh? Have something special planned?" I ask.

Kabuto discards my pants along with my underwear before removing his own pants and boxers. He presses himself against me again and moved his fingers to my core, inserting a finger inside and extracting it quickly.

"It's a surprise." he whispers. He makes the hand seals for the contraception jutsu (which works excellently for the record) and lines himself up with me before pushing inside with ease.

Kabuto moves slowly and carefully, keeping his hands on my inner thighs and softly caressing the skin and muscles as he thrusts in and out of me gently from behind. His hands move lower, massaging my thighs and managing to soothe the sorest areas with ease.

My moans grew louder as he picks up the pace slightly, but still maintaining the gentleness, something my previous lovers lacked the skill to achieve.

Kabuto moves his hands to my rear, massaging it in the same manner as he had the rest of my body, pushing my body to meet his with ease. He reaches out to find the small nub above our joining, pressing it softly resulting in my moans turning into a mix of screams and his name as I came hard. He was not far behind, as he thrust into me one last time in release. He remained still before pulling out of me slowly.

[END LEMON-FLUFF-THING]

"Now you'll sleep much better tonight. Maybe I won't have to wake you up so harshly tomorrow morning." he muses as he absently runs his fingers through my hair during the post-sex cuddling afterglow.

"I'm not kidding. If you pull a stunt like this morning again you're not going to get laid for a very, VERY long time." I growl.

"I thought this was going to end after my transformation anyway." he points out.

"Well...that isn't going to happen."

"Oh, but it will. I have everything planned out perfectly." he says confidently, his light touches moving to my back.

"We've been over this hundreds of times. It's a terrible idea. You are going to be used. Trust me."

"If I may ask, what is it that I do that's so horrible?" asks Kabuto.

"Spoilers. Lots of people die and you end up back at square one ashamed, pathetic and defeated."

"That's quite vague, but I appreciate your concern for my dignity." he says.

"It's not just out of concern for your dignity, I'm afraid me being here would change the outcome. You may end up getting killed because of what you do." I protest.

"Hmm. Perhaps I should focus my efforts on transporting us to your universe instead."

"That would actually be a good idea." I say.

Kabuto continues to draw patterns on my back. It is awhile before he speaks.

"It's a possibility, however I know nothing about your universe; if I like what I hear, maybe I'll consider leaving this world behind. That is, if it's possible."

"If anyone can figure it out, it's you."

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Author's note: Ahhhh so the plot moves along AND I got to write a ton of fluff.

Review replies

Tabue2000: ohohohoho nonono. She will not be the next Lee. She severely lacks the discipline and work ethic. Honestly she really just wants to punch Sasuke in the face. Making Marie the next Lee is dangerously close to Mary Sue territory.

This was a fun chapter to write. Tell me what you think, my readers! Feedback is like food to writers! Review and enjoy!


	22. The Moon is Magical

[Marie]

Training with Kabuto got less painful after a few days. My muscles grew accustomed to the strain and I was slowly growing stronger. Very *very* slowly.

The training with Kabuto was actually starting to be a lot of fun (winkwink insert innuendo of your choice here).

My language studies, however, were not going so well. Not at the fault of my instructor, poor Orochimaru was trying his hardest. He gave up on teaching me how to read kanji and instead focused on trying to teach me the grammar structure, which was just as much of a pain in my opinion. The grammar was all weird, the particles were obnoxious and my accent was atrocious.

Two weeks into my training, Kabuto and I were sparring, as we usually did in the mornings. I had gotten competent enough to block attacks coming towards me at a slowish pace. We'd have conversations during the spar to make it more difficult to focus on my actions. He wouldn't hit me very hard, it was more of a push than a punch to be honest.

"We're going to have to cut this lesson short. I have a meeting." says Kabuto, throwing a punch towards my shoulder. I block it and counter attack, which is equally blocked.

"Guess." I place a kick towards his knees to throw him off balance. Which he dodges.

"Hmm. Please tell me it's not another Akatsuki member." Kabuto aims a punch towards my gut. I grab his wrist and he easily untangles himself from my grasp.

"Good guess. Now, which member am I meeting?Can you guess that?" I try to ram into him, using my heavier weight to my advantage (I'm roughly 15 pounds heavier than Kabuto, who is roughly 145lbs Though, I think I might have lost at least five pounds since I've been in this universe.)

"Hmmm...is it a certain Uchiha or his fishy partner?" Punch. Block.

"Nope." Punch. Block. Kick.

"A blond artist that enjoys blowing shit up?" Punch. Block. Kick. Shove.

"Very close." I hesitate. That only means...BAM.

Kabuto lands a punch into my gut. I fall on the ground.

"Did you figure it out?" Kabuto holds out his hand to help me up.

Oh yeah I did. He's meeting Obito. Shit. Shit. Shiiiiiiit.

"...I'm going with you." I say definitively.

"No, you're not."

"Yes. I am."

"No. You're not."

I growl in frustration. "You don't understand. That man. He isn't what he seems. He's dangerous."

"I already know that."

I laugh and shake my head. "Nonono. You don't. You really, really don't."

"Oh? Then tell me."

I sigh. "Tell me, Kabuto. How do you like this world? Do you want to destroy it?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

I stamp my foot on the ground. "I hate having to be vague. I hate it so much. Answer the question."

"No, I don't want to destroy the world. I want to make an identity for myself. One that I made for myself, not one forced onto me by another authority."

I nod. "Of course. Alright. Now. How do you feel about being under a genjutsu for the rest of your natural life?"

Kabuto gives me a look. "What sort of genjutsu?"

"Basically a dream world. It's all super complicated. I forget how it all works." To be honest, I honestly didn't really pay attention to what Obito and Madara wanted to do with their crazy ass world, all I remember is that Obito wanted Rin back.

"Why are you asking me all of these questions that have nothing to do with convincing me to take you with me to the meeting?"

"It's relevant. Trust me. Now answer the question. Do you want to live in a genjutsu for the rest of your life where everything is fake?" I ask. Please say no. Pleaaaaase say no.

"Of course not. That's a terrible way to live, being controlled like that."

I breathe a sigh of relief. "Okay. Good. So. I'm about to reveal something to you. But first you have to promise me that you're going to help me get home."

"If I can. Remember that conversation a few weeks ago? If it's possible I'd like to try." says Kabuto.

"I'll take it I guess. Okay. So that genjutsu dream world thingy? That's Tobi's plan. He's going to do some shit with the moon or something and something about the tailed beast to make a giant tailed beast...and to be honest I actually don't understand the entire thing. To be honest I found it kind of a dumb plot so I just kinda zoned out during the explanation."

Kabuto snorts. "Typical. And what is my role in all of this?"

I take a deep breath. Here we go. "You singlehandedly start the war that will make their goal possible."

Kabuto blinks. "What?"

"I said. You start a war."

"I...start a war. By myself?"

"Well. Technically yes. But actually no."

Kabuto narrows his eyes. "You're being vague again."

"I'm telling you your personal fucking future and you're complaining about it being vague?"

Kabuto smiles. "Fair enough."

"To be honest, your involvement didn't make a whole lot of sense to me. In the anime-"

"What's an anime?" interrupts Kabuto.

"Short for animation. It's a television show adaptation of the manga. I read the manga up to chapter 400 like ten years ago but I recently watched some of the anime which is literally like 500 episodes in length."

"Do people really have that much free time in your world?" asks Kabuto, his eyes widening at the mention of the length of the series.

I laugh. "Yeah. It's super long. Now you understand why I don't know everything in perfect detail. Honestly I only recently watched select episodes of the anime. Anyway. I'm off topic. What was I saying?"

"That you never understood my role in the war."

"Oh. Right. Okay. So in the anime when you explain your role, at this point you had completely lost your sanity. Your power trip was so gigantic you basically rambled for twenty minutes about how you're a central figure and how you were so important and so powerful. You had no idea whatsoever that you were being used. It was...actually quite sad. You know...thinking you've finally found your place in the world by yourself without outside influence but in fact, you're still being used as a tool, as you had been your entire life."

Kabuto's face becomes blank during my speech and he averts my eyes after I finish. He doesn't speak.

"Are you...mad?"

"Yes and no." mumbles Kabuto.

"Hm. Now who's vague?"

He laughs at that, but it's lacking in humor.

"I'm glad you told me about this, Marie. Especially before this meeting. I was planning on tricking the Akatsuki to work for me so I could harness the power of the tailed beasts they were collecting. But...I'm also furious at myself because if what you've told me was true. I'd probably be remembered as the most oblivious pawn in history. I am very detail oriented. How did I miss that?" He kicks the dirt

I shrug. "I couldn't tell you. Now you know. How does it feel?"

"...Enlightening. Though I get the feeling you didn't tell me everything."

"I told you almost everything. I left out a couple of major details, but you're a smart man. You'll connect the dots when you meet Tobi."

"You're still not coming with me." says Kabuto.

"Butbutbut...please?"

"Why do you want to go anyway? It's not like you can understand what's being said. Unless your Eastern is better than Orochimaru-sama's been letting on."

My eyes narrow. He has a point. "Fine. But from now on, we are partners. You go to that meeting and share with me what he says. Just act like you're still trying to manipulate them into obtaining more power."

Kabuto smirks. "I can do that. I've been a spy for a decade now and I'm very good at my job."

"Kabuto Yakushi are you trying to turn me on or something?" I croon, fanning myself for comedic effect.

"You find the fact that I'm a spy attractive?" Kabuto raises an eyebrow.

"Um. Duh. Doesn't everyone?" I roll my eyes, putting on my best valley girl accent.

"Why did you just change your voice like that?"

I sigh. "For a culture reference you obviously won't understand." I say it in the same obnoxious voice.

"Can you please stop? It's irritating."

"Fine."

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Author's note: Whew. Lots of dialogue here. And I wish I could write actions as easy as I can write dialogue. So...I have a vague notion of how I'm going to go about the main plot at this point. Because, surprise surprise, these first 20ish chapters was just a warm up and for building relationships and stuff. Though I don't think I'll ever stop writing banter/ fluff chapters between these two. They write themselves.

Review replies:

Azelia8823: Thank you! I'm so glad you enjoyed it!

If you enjoy my terrible, awful story, let me know. It brightens my day! Review! enjoy! (someone help beta because I have no self control)


	23. The Proposal

[Kabuto]

It took awhile for the information about his future to truly sink in.

A lot of what Marie said didn't really make any sense. A genjutsu powered by the moon and the tailed beasts? A dream world controlled by the caster, who he assumed was the mysterious Akatsuki member known as Tobi.

To Kabuto, a man whose actions had always been controlled by someone for most of his life, this sort of world sounded like a nightmare.

The notion that he would even consent to assisting in mass indoctrination was abhorrent.

Earlier today, Kabuto thought he had the Akatsuki in the palm of his hand. He was going to obtain access to the power of all the tailed beasts. Then he would be an unstoppable force that nobody would even think about manipulating.

How could he had overlooked such an obvious ploy? If Marie was telling the truth, then his goals were never achieved. In fact, he was on the path to becoming even more of a puppet than before.

He supposed that Marie could be lying. She could have been lying this entire time. It was quite possible.

However it didn't fit her personality. In the months he had spent with her, he could always tell when she was hiding something from him or not telling the entire truth. Her large expressive blue eyes always gave her emotions away. It appeared to be involuntary, but he supposed a spy could change to fit her environment.

Being a spy himself, early in their relationship he had her come and live with him for this very reason. She did not break character once in their time together. It was safe to assume, she was genuine. Her combat skills were less than impressive, making her even more credible.

Her muscles were underdeveloped and her strength was minimal. As a medical shinobi, he knew what sort of muscle tone shinobi had. She was extremely out of shape in such a way that it would have taken a very comfortable lifestyle for her to get as out of shape as she was.

Kabuto wondered often what her world was like. Marie had ever really shared much about her life before she found herself here. He was curious. Not curious enough to permanently move there himself, of course. But an entire world where no one had any chakra. What sort of world was that? he wondered.

He was shaken out of his thoughts when his contact teleports in front of him.

"Good afternoon, Madara-sama." greets Kabuto, bowing his head in respect.

The masked man nods in acknowledgment. "Were you followed?" asks Madara.

"No one knows that I am here. Not even Orochimaru-sama."

"Excellent. I suppose you're wondering why I arranged this meeting?"

"I would not be here if I were not curious, Madara-sama. It's not every day a lowly subordinate like me is contacted by a famed dead Uchiha."

Madara nods. "My death was greatly exaggerated."

"I see. Fascinating. Might I ask why I am here, Madara-sama?"

"Sources tell me that you are planning...a transference of power once Orochimaru-sama attempts to acquire Uchiha Sasuke's body for himself. Are these sources accurate?" asks the masked man.

"They might be. Why do you ask?"

"I have always had an interest in Orochimaru-sama's discoveries over the years. There was an incident several years ago that particularly caught my interest. The Chūnin Exam invasion of Konoha. You were involved in that, yes ?"

Kabuto nods. "I was. What about that incident was so interesting?"

"There was...a forbidden technique performed at that invasion: The Reanimation Jutsu, that summoned the previous kages back from the dead for a short amount of time. I hear you have been refining this technique in your spare time."

Kabuto smirks. "I have. Sadly, I do not have an adequate amount of power to perform it, so all of my research is merely theoretical."

"My sources tell me you are in the process of obtaining an excess amount of power."

"Oh? Is that so?"

"I have a proposal for you. My sources also tell me that you have also been doing extensive research in the existence of alternate universes."

Kabuto keeps his face blank. "I have."

"What if I told you that I know how to travel between universes at will?"

"I would ask...what is your price?"

The masked man tilts his head. "When you have the capacity to perform this Reanimation Jutsu, I have a job for you. Fulfill that job, and the research is yours."

Kabuto pauses before answering. "I will consider it, Madara-sama."

"You have three days."

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[Marie]

Kabuto returned a few hours later.

I look up from my book when the door opened. It was hard to pinpoint Kabuto's expression, between a mix of the face of one in deep thought and confusion.

"So how'd it go?" I ask.

"I...think I understand now." He walks inside, closes the door behind him and joins me on the couch.

"Understand what?" I place my book on the coffee table. This was gonna be good.

"How it's possible to singlehandedly start a war." Kabuto takes off his glasses and places them on top of my book. He buries his face in his hands, elbows resting on his legs.

"Do tell." I knew the answer but Kabuto was the type of guy to want to figure things out for himself.

"...Mass reanimation." His voice shakes a little.

"So, what shiny thing did 'Madara' wave in your face?"

Kabuto unburies his face from his hands to glance at me in confusion.

"What did he offer you? Money? Power? Knooooowledge?"

"The last one. Research about inter-universe travel."

I blanch. "What!? Seriously!?" Damn. That's shiny.

"Yes. He says he can travel universes at will."

"And if you would raise a teeny tiny army of zombie shinobi, that power is yours?"

Kabuto nods.

I mimic Kabuto's actions, placing my glasses next to his and burying my face in my hands.

"Did he tell you what the reanimation jutsu was for?" I ask.

"No, but based on what you've told me he appears to be gearing up for a world war."

"He is. Oh, and he wants to bring back the real Madara."

"The...real Madara?"

I nod. "Yeah. He is an Uchiha, but he ain't Madara. That guy died of old age like sixteen years ago."

"It makes sense. The man I met with looked as if he were in the prime of his life."

"That's because he is. That man you met with was Obito Uchiha."

"Never heard of him."

"You wouldn't. He allegedly died in the last war at the age of 13." I explain.

"Why...is he masquerading as Madara-sama?"

I shrug. "Recognition, I guess. Who knows? Question is, what are we going to do?"

Kabuto gives me a look. "We?"

"Yeah. We're partners, remember?"

"I...am not sure. It would probably be in my best interest to accept."

I nod. "For now at least. Obito is the kind of guy that hates loose ends."

"This also means I will have to go through with my plan to absorb Orochimaru-sama when he is inevitably defeated by Sasuke-kun."

I shudder. "...do me a favor and don't grow a snake as an extra appendage."

"...what?"

"Don't. Grow. A. Snake. Anywhere. On. Your. Body. If you do, you're never ever having sex with me again. I don't mind the scales or the new coloring but I draw the line at snake belly buttons."

Kabuto laughs. "You're being quite shallow about this."

"Well...now that you HAVE to go through with it or else potentially die at the hands of Obito, I'm willing to sacrifice a few of my standards. I guess. We'll see."

"Heh. Alright then."

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[Kabuto]

Three days later, Kabuto returns to the meeting place. "Madara" was waiting for him.

"Kabuto. Have you decided?"

Kabuto smiles and bows respectfully. "I accept, Madara-sama."

"Excellent."

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Author's note: I like this chapter. It was one of those that kinda wrote itself. I think there's going to be a few fluffy chapters before we continue the plot since Orochimaru doesn't try and absorb Sasuke for...a while.

Again, I am still looking for a beta. No one has contacted me. If you have a good grasp on the English language, and have the free time, and want to edit this story, please contact me!

Review! Enjoy!


	24. The Romantic Fantasy

[Marie]

"So, how long until Orochimaru decides to take Sasuke's body?" I ask.

"I can't be completely certain. Most definitely within the year." answers Kabuto. We were taking a stroll outside the hideout after our daily sparring lesson.

I was coming along in strength, but I was still learning academy level taijutsu. It would be some time before I would move on to genin level stuff, since I was still building my endurance level.

"Well, how do we proceed after that? All you did by accepting was buy time to come up with a more detailed plan. I just hope it's enough." I sigh.

"I'm an intelligent and calculating man, my dear. All we need to do is gather more information about our target. Unless you have any more information that could be useful." He takes my hand and squeezes it lightly.

"Hmph. Well. Too be honest, I've been thinking about something."

"And?"

"And...Ithinkweshouldletthewarhappen."

Kabuto stops and stares at me in disbelief.

"Pardon? I don't think I understood you correctly. I could have sworn you said that I should go ahead and do that man's bidding and do what he wants."

"Well. I have a point, I promise. The thing is, the war greatly improved relations between the Great Nations. They banded together and won the war."

"But, doesn't that mean many people will die? Personally I think it has the makings of being an excellent plan, but I'm surprised that you of all people would suggest it."

I narrow my eyes. "And why is that?"

"You are a creature driven by high morals and emotion. All life is precious to you and starting a war will cost many many lives. Surely that bothers you."

I sigh. "I don't love the idea, but a wise man once said: the needs of the many outweighs the needs of the few. Plus you're going to control the most elite soldiers with that weird reanimation thingy, right?"

"Well, yes. But I will have to maintain my cover and do the job I was asked to do."

"So professional. So dangerous. So...covert." I coo seductively.

"You're ridiculous. You're attracted to such strange things."

"My world is safer than this world. People like you are usually fictional." I rationalize.

"What do you mean...people like me?"

"A lot of girls in my universe consider professional and dangerous men as a kind of romantic fantasy. Sure, they'd never actually go for the dangerous man, but they love reading about handsome dangerous men falling in love with a normal girl."

"That...really doesn't make any sense."

I scoff. "Well it wouldn't make sense to you. But, take this universe for example. Can you guess which characters are the most popular among the female population?"

Kabuto smirked. "I wouldn't know, but based on your previous statements, I would guess members of the Akatsuki would qualify?"

I nod. "Oh yeah, girls loooove the Akatsuki. And Kakashi Hatake. It's the mysterious and dangerous allure of these characters that make them so attractive to the ladies. In addition to their pretty appearances, of course."

"Heh. So, am I popular among women in your world?"

I laugh. "Actually...no. No, not really."

"Is that so?"

"Yeah. Girls find you really creepy. You're cute but you're not handsome enough to compensate for the fact that every time you were on screen you acted like an arrogant douche with no redeeming personality traits."

Kabuto raises an eyebrow.

"Huh. Interesting."

"What is?"

"Didn't you tell me awhile ago that you found me attractive when you were 14? I take it you disagreed with this assumption."

"Well...it wasn't your fault you were a spy for the other side..." I mumble.

Kabuto grins evilly and chuckles. "You weren't exactly a normal young girl were you?"

I roll my eyes. "No..no I wasn't."

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Author's note: Sorry this one is so short, but I wanted to keep my daily streak. I may or may not post something fluffy or smutty later tonight or early tomorrow. Also we haven't seen Sasuke or Orochimaru in a few chapters so might have some featuring them. But here, have some banter between our two leads!

Review and enjoy!


	25. Training

[Sasuke]

Marie-sensei had not shown up at Sasuke's doorstep for an entire week, which was unusual since the woman had an unusual fascination with his social well-being.

Tch. So annoying. Sasuke didn't need anyone to look after him; he could take care of himself. He didn't need to talk about his feelings to anyone.

Marie-sensei shows up at his door one afternoon wearing a large grin on her face.

"Sasuke-kuuun, my favorite avenger~!"

Sasuke tenses up. She's using her plotting voice. Whenever Marie-sensei used that voice, he was in for several hours of scolding. He shuts the door quickly. He wasn't in the mood.

"Sasuke, please open the door. I promise I didn't come to lecture you. Again."

"Whatever you have to say I don't want to hear it."

He hears Marie-sensei make a frustrated noise. Then the door shakes with pressure.

Another frustrated noise. He hears the sound of footsteps walking away from the door.

Sasuke breathes a sigh of relief.

He hears the sound of running footsteps. The sound of the footsteps taking off the ground. The door shakes with larger force.

"DAMMIT"

"Why are you trying to break down the door?" asks Sasuke irritably.

"Working on the force of my kicks. What does it sound like I'm doing?"

"Why are you doing it on my door?"

Marie growls in frustration. "Because you refuse to help me train. I came here to ask you and you slammed the door in my face."

Sasuke opens the door. "You're...training? In what?"

"Taijutsu. I decided if I'm going to stay here I might as well get into shape."

"It's not a bad idea, actually." comments Sasuke.

"See? I knew you'd say that!" exclaims Marie. "So tell me, do you have the time to help me...Sasuke-sensei. Since you owe me for your current fluency in English after all."

Sasuke narrows his eyes. Marie-sensei was right, despite the fact that he had picked up a very odd sounding accent thanks to her.

"Fine. Meet me outside the hideout in ten minutes. Be prepared to give it your all."

Marie jumps up and down happily. She throws her arms around his neck and gives him a hug. Sasuke stiffens. He didn't like being touched.

"Thank you thank you thank you, Sasuke!" she squeals. She releases him from his arms and skips away.

This was going to be..a weird day.

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[Kabuto]

It was his turn to make dinner. Today's menu consisted of hamburgers and thin slices of fried potatoes Marie called "French fries, quite easy to prepare in Kabuto's opinion.

Marie had gone out for the day to train with Sasuke-kun, giving him a chance to work on his projects. She was coming along slowly, and would probably never be a true taijutsu master but she had made decent progress in only a week of training.

Despite her progress, Kabuto considered Marie to be a difficult student. Her attention span was short, she didn't listen to instructions thoroughly and often tended to jump into practical applications full force; an extremely unwise attitude in his opinion.

Kabuto tried to imagine her as a shinobi, and chuckles at the image. Marie was so clumsy; she could barely walk straight without tripping on her own feet.

Still...it was good that she had something to do to occupy her time rather than getting herself into trouble.

The door opens and Marie trudges in, her eyes weary and her body defeated.

"So, how was your training session with Sasuke-kun?" asks Kabuto cheerfully.

Marie glares at him. "Shut...up and feed me." She flops on the couch face forward.

Kabuto laughs and places her food on a tray, placing it on the coffee table and takes a seat in his desk chair.

Marie grunts and turns her head over to face him.

"Kabuto...I think I'm dead." she mumbles.

"Not dead, just out of energy." comments Kabuto, earning a glare from his partner.

Marie slowly pushes herself up to a sitting position, grabbing the tray and began inhaling the cheeseburger at an alarming rate.

"...see? Your appetite is still intact."

Marie gulps down a rather large bite before commenting.

"Shut up. Sasuke's training makes your training look like Disneyland in comparison. What is wrong with you people!?"

"You used a cultural reference that doesn't exist anymore again. Remember the rules."

Since Marie often had the irritating habit of referencing things from her world, they came to an agreement: For every reference the other party did not understand, it must be briefly explained so that the confusion is resolved.

"Oh, right. Disneyland is a theme park. I'm saying your training was easy in comparison to Sasuke's taijutsu training from hell."

Kabuto barks a laugh.

"I am in pain! And you're laughing!" growls Marie. She bites into her hamburger angrily.

Kabuto laughs again. "I apologize, I just had the mental image of you fighting Sasuke and I couldn't help myself."

Marie gulps down her food with a frustrated noise.

"Whatever it was...it was probably accurate. He kicked my ass. And the sad part? I think he was really trying to focus on not hurting me." Marie grumbles with a mouthful of fries.

Kabuto laughs harder.

"Yeah yeah, hilarious." she mumbles and collapses on the couch on her back, her plate empty.

Kabuto takes her plate to the sink and returns to the living area. Perhaps she could benefit from some of his muscle relaxing techniques, especially since she could barely walk. It'd save him from dealing with Marie's current hostile mood.

He lifts her legs and takes a seat on the couch, putting her feet into his lap. Taking off her shoes and socks, he kneads the muscles of her feet gently, earning a moan from his housemate.

"Keep doing that..." she mumbles tiredly.

Kabuto smiles and continues. He enjoyed the noises she made when she was feeling any sort of pleasure; whether it be sexual or just the taste of food after not eating for awhile. They were encouraging to Kabuto's abilities, the beautiful sounds she made because of him.

"Better?" asks Kabuto after awhile.

"Mmm..much, but it'd be better if I were clean." answers Marie.

"I think we could use a trip to the hot springs." comments Kabuto.

Marie gasps excitedly. "We haven't been there in ages! I could use the relaxation!"

Kabuto nods. "I'll go and get the bathing supplies."

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Author's note: Filler chapter but I missed Sasuke. Next chapter is gonna be a whole lot of fluff. Lots and lots of fluff. And...other things. *cough*

Can you believe I've almost reached 25 chapters and 40k words in like 2 weeks? Crazy since I hadn't written anything longer than 7k before this.

I hope people are enjoying this story. If you are, or if you want to beta or give advice for writing or whatever, please review! I'd love to hear from you!

Review replies:

Animeatemyfeels: Eh...I'd say it's more alternative character interpretation on my part, especially with Orochimaru and Kabuto. But I'm happy you like it! Thank you!


	26. Bliss

Warning: Most of this chapter is smut and fluff. You have been warned. Nothing of value is here besides banter and badly written porn. Which is honestly this entire story.

Nevermind.

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[Marie]

I never really understood why hot springs were such a bit deal. I once went to one in Colorado that was literally just a very warm swimming pool.

My mind immediately changed once Kabuto started bringing me to the hot spring near the hideout.

Correction: Hot Springs. Are. Glorious. Especially after the Uchiha Sasuke training regimen from Hades. The boy is as serious as he is brutal.

Kabuto suggested a trip to the hot springs near the hideout. We rarely visited the little area, since both of us enjoy our privacy and bathing out in the open made us feel a bit...exposed.

Regardless, I needed a nice long soak.

When we arrived, I immediately tore off my clothes and headed into the pool, immediately dunking my head underwater before emerging to the surface again. I let the water cover my entire body up to my chin,as I paddled to an underwater bench near the edge of the pool.

I close my eyes and sigh in bliss. The water felt wonderful.

I hear water splashing around and the pull of a small current as Kabuto swam to join me on the bench.

"I...needed this." I say. I open my eyes and look over at Kabuto, who is leaning his head on the edge. His eyes are closed.

"You look tired as well..." I continue.

"Not at all. My work today was purely scientific without any physical demands. It is my mind that needs to rest." He yawns for effect, making me yawn as well.

"Did anyone tell you that yawning is contagious?" I mutter. Kabuto glances over at me. The edges of his mouth turn upwards.

"Perhaps that is why I did it."

We sit in a comfortable silence, soaking, enjoying the water. Eventually Kabuto swims to the entrance to retrieve the bathing supplies.

He returns a moment later, instructing me to turn around so he could wash my hair.

I've never been comfortable with the thought of someone else bathing me, especially a man. I had only ever showered with a guy once before Kabuto and that was weird and cramped.

Probably because the last time I showered with a guy was that one time I lost my virginity in a motel. It wasn't a terrible experience but it was something I avoided doing with lovers.

Bathing with Kabuto was an entirely different experience. It was sensual and relaxing except if he was in one of his moods. Then it was rough and passionate, though this was rare since he wasn't really one for being counterproductive; bathing involves cleansing and rough sex in the shower did nothing to cleanse the body.

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[Kabuto]

Kabuto massaged Marie's scalp, enjoying the satisfied sighs she made while he ran his fingers through her long hair as he applied the shampoo.

Afterwards, Marie returned the favor, combing his hair gently. When she finishes, he grabs her waist and pulls her into his lap, crashing her mouth onto his. Kabuto holds her by the small of her back and presses her chest to his.

Marie grinds her hips against his length and he groans in response. Kabuto tears his mouth away from hers and grins.

"I thought you were tired." Kabuto murmurs, moving his lips to Marie's neck eliciting a soft moan that encourages his hands to move to her shapely rear, pressing himself against her resulting in a shuddering gasp as his hands move from her rear to quickly make the hand seals for the contraception jutsu in preparation.

Marie smiles. "This water is making my limbs feel much better."

"Is that so?" Kabuto places his hands back on her rear lifting her so he could slowly guide himself into her center, the water making it easier for him to slide in and out of her. There was a downside to this of course, he had to be extra careful to not slide out accidentally, which was slightly embarrassing on his part.

To compensate for the extra lubrication, Kabuto kept a firm grip on Marie's rear as he carefully controlled their union as he thrusted into her.

It didn't take long. Marie was already wound up tightly and the force of her climax prompted him to pick up the speed of his thrusts until he spills into her.

Afterwards Marie slumps against him, her limbs exhausted and jelly-like. Kabuto takes the opportunity to grab a sponge and scrub her back, earning him a purr of satisfaction from his lover.

Kabuto continued to scrub every inch of Marie's body clean as she lay in his lap, occasionally switching the sponge on himself, so he could also be clean.

He ended up carrying Marie out of the bath, wrapping a robe around her and himself for modesty, and carrying her back home. She had fallen asleep by the time they had gotten back to the apartment. He tucks her into bed and leaves her in slumber to finish some of his reports.

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Author's note: I...don't like how this turned out. I think I have to be in a certain mood to write smut and I just...haven't been in that sort of mood.

Sorry guys! Review and enjoy anyway!


	27. Transformation

[Marie]

In the three months that I had started studying taijutsu, I had lost a whopping total of 20 pounds, leaving me with some slight extra movement ability and extra energy to do more things.

It's a wonder I didn't lose this extra weight in my own world. Of course in my universe I lived under a mountain of depression, school/family problems, and humidity.

In this universe, I really had nothing better to do. It was either that or attempt to learn Eastern, which I was still attempting and progressing slowly. I could now make small talk and hold simple conversations but I still couldn't read the language very well.

Sasuke would help me with my conversation by holding our training sessions in Eastern rather than English.

Kabuto continued to spar with me occasionally as well, but Sasuke had completely taken over teaching new techniques, since Kabuto's research was increasingly consuming his time and the deeper he got into his research, the more difficult it was for me to pull him out of it when he needed to rest.

Even after we had gone to bed, he would sneak away after he was certain I was asleep. I had developed the skill of feigning sleep over the past few months; it was pretty easy to fool him since I didn't have any chakra energy levels to give me away.

I had the feeling that the day I was dreading was soon upon us. Kabuto was becoming distant and increasingly vague. He was always in his lab or traveling for missions.

When Kabuto was home, he was writing his research down in his notebook. Of course there was always some evenings when he needed to blow off steam. During these evenings, he would be insatiable. Luckily for him, my stamina had also increased thanks to my rigorous daily training resulting in glorious and passionate all-nighters.

Of course I knew the day would come when we had to relocate and I wouldn't ever see Orochimaru or Sasuke again.

I just wish I had more warning.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I remember always complaining about morning people. In these past few months I had become what I hate: a morning person.

It was easy, actually: get exhausted enough to go to bed on time and bam! In bed by 9pm and up by 5am. With my constant training and language studying, it was simple.

I hear the door open as I'm performing my morning stretches. An arm grabs me firmly and drags me out into the hallway.

I attempt to get out of the grip, but the grip was too strong. The arm seemed to elongate like a snake, with scales etched on the skin. I was being pulled outside.

I do the rational thing and scream bloody murder as I try to escape from the iron steel grip the hand had on my arm.

The owner of the kidnapping arm was in fact, Kabuto. He wears his hooded getup hiding his face. My stomach sinks.

"Um...hey, hon. What's up?" I ask casually.

Kabuto turns to face me, his hand still gripping my arm. Half of his face was now stark white.

I gasp in shock. No. Nononono. It's too soon. I can't deal with this. I choke down tears. I couldn't let him see me cry.

"Oh, just sharing the results of my hard work." he says, a maniacal grin forming on his face. It's unsettling.

"I...see." I mumble. It took a lot to maintain my even tone. I wasn't mentally prepared to see this.

"Oh? What's wrong, my dear? This is part of the plan is it not?" His tone is biting with sarcasm.

I want to say something in response. I want to scream.

I hold it in. He could snap me like a twig if I pissed him off.

Well, he could always do that, but the transformation he was currently going through was having a serious effect on his psyche. I had to treat my psychotic boyfriend with kid gloves if I wanted to live.

"It's...nothing." I say.

Kabuto laughs loudly. "You're lying. I can read you like a book, you know. You're terrified of me."

I gulp. Shit. What do I say? What do I say? My mind races.

"Um...yes."

My response makes him cackle even more.

"You knew it was going to happen, my dear. I thought you'd be more prepared. Bah, doesn't matter. We're relocating tonight. Pack your things."

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Author's note: It's short and misses my 1k word minimum yet again, but it's yet another one of those transitional chapters. So I'm thinking of making a separate story for drabbles and oneshots that are set during the many time gaps. Just so if people want to read random fluff, rather than silly plot.

Anyway, until next time! Review and enjoy!

[also my cries for a beta seem to be falling on deaf ears, but seriously I'm in desperate need. I feel as if this story is a project that needs a lot of work and I'm pretty sure I'll end up rewriting this story well after it's finished once I gain more skilled. But I do need someone to help me with continuity and story flow and actions and such. If you believe you're up to the task, pleasepleaseplease contact me]


	28. Gone

[Yamato]

"Naruto-kun, Yamato-taichou, someone's coming to intercept our position and they're fast." warns Hinata, with her Byakugan in full effect.

"Alright. Be prepared for a fight, everyone." orders Yamato. His companions nod in agreement.

It didn't take long for the hooded figure to materialize in front of him. He held a woman with western features on his back. Yamato recognized the face. Wonderful.

The woman's face breaks out into a smile as she hops off of the hooded figure's back.

("WOOD BOY!") she chimes as she waves enthusiastically in his direction.

"Marie-chan.." Yamato greets with less enthusiasm. ("Your boyfriend other person?") he asks. The hooded figure still hadn't revealed their face.

Marie nods solemnly.

The hooded man, Kabuto, takes off his hood to reveal that half of his face had been transformed into...well, Yamato wasn't entirely sure what it was.

Half of Kabuto's face had turned stark white and was a sort of scaly texture.

"Yamato-taichou. Naruto-kun. Hyūga-sama. It is good to see all of you." says Kabuto, bowing politely.

Naruto and Hinata shared in his confusion over Kabuto's appearance.

Hinata activates her Byakugan and gasps in shock.

"What do you see, Hinata-chan?" asks Naruto.

"It's...his body is being taken over by Orochimaru. And that girl...she has no chakra!"

Yamato and Naruto look at Hinata in confusion.

Kabuto laughs. "That was my reaction as well. My Marie is special in many ways."

"What do you want, Kabuto? Is it true that Orochimaru is dead?" growls Naruto.

"Orochimaru-sama has been defeated by Sasuke-kun in battle. I have absorbed what is left of him into my body. But do not fear. I do not intend to harm you."

Naruto, Hinata, and Yamato visibly wince.

"Then...what the hell do you want then?" demands Naruto.

"I have acquired some information about the Akatsuki that you may find useful. In addition I have a request."

"And that is...?" asks Yamato.

"I need you to take Marie to Konoha. She knows many things about the Akatsuki that even I don't know. Keep her safe. I intend to return for her when I maintain control of my form."

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[Marie]

After Kabuto finishes talking to Wood boy, Naruto, and...Hinata (omg her eyes! She's so cute! I love her hair!!!!) Kabuto turns to me.

"You're going with them."

...The fuck?

I stare at him. "I am?"

"Yes. I don't trust the man I'm about to work for. I don't want him anywhere near you nor do I want him to know what you know."

"Might I remind you that Danzō is still fucking alive? I'm not letting him anywhere near that information."

Kabuto smirks. "Good girl." He kisses my forehead gently.

And then he was gone.

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Author's notes: Just reminding you guys that I have made a separate companion fic for filler drabbles and such based on the 100 themes meme thing. It's a lot of fun, and I've enjoyed writing them, so check it out if you want to read a ton of fluffy nonsense.

This is short because I should be studying for finals and I'm not but I wanted to continue the story a bit.

Review and enjoy!


	29. Mind Games

[Marie]

"That son of a BITCH." I yell. I kick the ground for emphasis.

("Marie-chan, has your Eastern improved?") asks Yamato.

("A little. Speak slowly and don't use big words.")

("Excellent. I will take Marie-chan back to the village. You guys rendezvous with Kakashi-sempai. Do not engage Uchiha Sasuke alone, is that clear, Naruto?")

Naruto nods. He and Hinata sprint off into the trees.

("Alright, Marie-chan. Let's go. Hop on.")

I hop on Wood Boy's back and he sprints away in the opposite direction from the other two.

"Hey...Wood Boy?"

"Hm?"

I think about my word choice for a moment.

("What did Kabuto say to do with me?")

("He said you knew things, and to keep you safe. He also said he would be back for you.")

"I was afraid of that." I mumble.

Kabuto was speaking too quickly for me to understand what he was saying when he freaking pawned me off to Konoha.

"Afraid? Of what?"

"Crap. Thought your...Western wasn't good."

Yamato sighs. ("I understand Western a lot better than I can speak it.")

"So...um. Is it okay if I speak in my own language then?"

("As long as you speak slowly and not use big words.")

I laugh. "Thanks."

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The trip to Konoha was uneventful. I didn't really have much to say to Yamato. I was too busy cursing my boyfriend's idiocy.

Though...he did have a point. Obito would probably try and get information out of me much as he did. I could probably be more useful in Konoha right now anyway.

I knew for a fact that I could trust Tsunade, at least.

We arrived at Konoha's gates and Yamato let me down off of his back.

I must have looked like an idiot while we walked through the village. It was just so...cute.

("You look like you're in a better mood.") comments Yamato.

I nod. "You have a beautiful village."

("Thank you.")

We arrive at the Hokage tower after about 15 minutes of walking. Yamato escorts me to a very familiar looking room on the top floor.

And there she was...and dear lord those were some gigantic tits.

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[Tsunade]

Yamato returns to the tower merely hours after the rescue team had left with an unfamiliar foreigner.

"Tsunade-sama." He bows in respect and the young foreigner does the same.

"Yamato. Wasn't expecting you for a few days. Has something gone wrong?"

Yamato shakes his head. "On the contrary. Marie-chan, introduce yourself to the Hokage."

The young woman, Marie, bows in respect.

"Hello. I am Baxter Marie. I have always admired you, Tsunade-sama." Her words were clumsy, but understandable.

"You are Kabuto's lover?"

Marie blushes. "Well, yes."

("Kind of") she adds in Western.

Tsunade raises an eyebrow. ("Kind of? You're saying you weren't in an intimate relationship with Kabuto Yakushi?")

The girl laughs nervously.

"Captain Yamato, may I speak with this girl alone, please?"

Yamato bows and leaves the room.

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[Marie]

After Yamato leaves, Tsunade motions to the chair.

"Please, sit."

I sit.

"First of all, can you confirm Orochimaru's death?"

I shrug. "Well...he's dead but he's not."

Tsunade glares. "That doesn't make any sense."

"Oh...it does. Kabuto absorbed his essence."

Tsunade rolls her eyes. "Of course he did."

"Then afterwards he dumped me with you people."

"Why would he do something like that?"

I sigh. Here we go.

"I...know things."

Tsunade throws me a skeptical look. "That's a very vague statement."

"Yeah. It's because if I tell you the entire truth, I will sound like a crazy person."

"Try me." Her tone is cold and intimidating.

"I...am from an alternate universe. A world with no chakra whatsoever. You can run all the scans you want to on me. The easiest way to confirm is to get a Hyūga in here to scan me."

Tsunade smirks. "I can arrange that."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Fifteen minutes later I am gawking at Neji Hyūga in the flesh like a creepy fangirl.

("She's...completely empty, Tsunade-sama. I've never seen anything like it.") Neji's face was perplexed as he retracts his Byakugan.

("Thank you, Neji. You're dismissed.") Neji bows and exits the room.

"Alright. Obviously you're...unique. Except this has nothing to do with your statement about 'knowing things'. Explain. Now."

I gulp. So intense.

"First. I need you to promise that not a word of this will reach the Elder council." I say.

"Done."

"I'm serious. I don't want them knowing about any of this."

"...You're stalling. Get to the point, Marie. I do not have infinite patience."

I wince. "Okay. Well. I know some things about the future."

"Psychic abilities or something?"

I shake my head. "Nothing like that. In my world...this world is fictional. I know a lot about this village and its inhabitants."

"Can you be more..specific or is this entire conversation going to continue to be more vague bullshit?"

I snort. "Okay. You want specifics? Hm. Pick a topic."

"You mentioned the elder council. Why don't you want them to know about your existence?"

I smirk. "That's easy. Because I don't want Danzō Shimura anywhere near me after what he's done."

Tsunade raises an eyebrow. "And what, specifically, has he done?"

"Okay first, he tried to assassinate my boyfriend by using his own adoptive mother, whom he had brainwashed into thinking another kid was her son. Also he and Sai are extremely messed up thanks to that secret ninja spy program he has going on. Secondly you have him to thank for the Uchiha massacre. No, I'm not going into details. Thirdly...check his arm. The bandaged one. It's special." I wink.

"His...arm? Why?"

I smirk again. "I don't want to ruin the surprise. It's a doozy, trust me. Can you call him up here? I kind of want to see it for myself. Make sure you have a ton of those ANBU guys blocking the doors though."

Tsunade looks at me curiously, as if she were trying to call my bluff.

I made sure my face remained either neutral or sure. I knew Danzō's dirty little secret, dammit and this was gonna be fun to watch.

"Look, if I'm wrong, you can have someone probe my mind or whatever."

Tsunade nods. "So you want me to have a look at his bandaged arm? That's it?"

"Yup. That's it."

"Alright. I'll summon him."

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Author's note: it's a good thing Tsunade despises the elder council or else Marie would be spending some quality time with Ibiki down in TI.

Hopefully I made the language changes clear enough for you guys.

Review and enjoy!


	30. Secrets

[Tsunade]

It's well known that Tsunade Senju was a betting woman.

It was also well known that she had the tendency to lose frequently.

For once, Tsunade actually hopes she loses the bet. She had been waiting for the chance to put that bastard Danzō in his place ever since she became Hokage. Something about the man and the way he ran his affairs was just extremely suspicious and shady.

Danzō arrives an hour after his summons. At Marie's request, she had placed her best ANBU at every exit, even the unconventional ones.

"Tsunade-sama, to what do I owe the pleasure of a personal summons?" asks the old man.

"Danzō-san. This is my new apprentice, Marie. You are overdue for a checkup, so I was going to give her a demonstration." The girl nods in greeting, but says nothing. Her eyes are cold and piercing as she stares at him.

"Ahaha. I would think you'd prefer a more fit subject, Tsunade-sama. An old man like me is not good for demonstrations."

Tsunade smirks. He's definitely hiding something.

"Oh, but I insist. You're due for a physical. All the elders are."

"I'm afraid I must decline, Tsunade-sama. I appreciate your concern for my health, however." Danzō turns to leave. He is blocked by two ANBU units at the door.

"Danzō-san. I'm not asking. Now, unravel your bandages." demands Tsunade coldly.

The old man stares at her with his good eye, then he laughs.

"Why are you so insistent about this, Tsunade-sama?"

"Because, frankly. I think you're hiding something. I always have. And I want to know what it is."

Danzō laughs harder. "So forward. Rashness like that is something that will get you killed, Tsunade-sama."

Tsunade glares. "Is that a threat?"

"Just a piece of advice. If I were you, I'd take it. If you value the lives of your men, I would let me pass, Hokage-sama."

"Tch. Fine. Thank you, Danzō-san."

The elder bows in respect and exits the room.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Marie]

As Danzō leaves, with his arm and dignity intact, I turn to Tsunade in surprise.

"What the hell?"

"This office is not a place for bloodshed, Marie."

I balk. "Wait he threatened you?" I was sort of following the conversation but I got lost in the middle. Too many words.

Tsunade tilts her head in confusion. "You didn't understand the conversation?"

I blush. "Um, well...my Eastern is very...very bad. You guys were talking too fast. I only caught a few words."

"I see. Yes. He threatened all of the lives of my men and heavily alluded to an assassination plot."

"Bastard." I murmur.

"Out of curiosity, what is it that he is hiding."

"...Sharingans. All over his arm."

Tsunade grows pale. "From...from the Uchiha slain in the massacre?"

I nod. "And his bad eye is also a Sharingan."

Tsunade stares at me in shock.

"I hope you're wrong about this." she murmurs.

"I wish I was. I'm not."

"I'm not sure if I believe you. But one thing is for certain: He is definitely hiding something. I've always suspected it, but I've never had the grounds to investigate until now."

"I understand. Personally I wouldn't believe me either. Especially since I've literally been sleeping with an enemy of Konoha for the past few months."

"Though, from what you've told me, the reason he's an enemy of Konoha is Danzō's fault."

I nod. "Yeah. Before Danzō got a hold of Kabuto, he was just a sweet boy who was talented in medical ninjutsu. Now he's desperate to make a name for himself and reclaim the identity he lost. It's heartbreaking. If ROOT hadn't gotten a hold of him, I'm sure he would've become your apprentice instead of Orochimaru's. Though, Orochimaru really isn't as bad as he seems."

Tsunade nods in agreement. "I once fought Kabuto. I lost."

My eyes widened. "He told me that you defeated him."

"Well...actually Naruto caught him off guard. I had the upper hand most of the fight. But Kabuto used his knowledge of my fear of blood to gain the upper hand. He would have almost had me if Naruto didn't step in."

I roll my eyes. I knew my boyfriend, he loooved knowing the weaknesses of his opponents so he could exploit them like that. Prick.

"That..sounds like something he would do. Kabuto doesn't exactly play fair. Apologies for his dickish behavior. He seems to hold you in high respect, though."

Tsunade frowns. "The feeling isn't mutual."

"So..um. Do I have a date with Ibiki down in TI?"

"You've been cooperative so far, I don't think that his brand of...excessiveness is required."

I breathe a sigh of relief. "Whew. So...what are you going to do with me?"

"Well...that depends on whether or not you'll continue to be as cooperative." she says.

"Let's assume that I plan on being super cooperative."

Tsunade chuckles. "Okay. I'm afraid I will have to assign you to someone for protection and supervision. Someone female who can speak your language. Hmmm...Perhaps Tenten."

I grin excitedly.

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Author's note: ONE MORE TEST AND THEN I AM FREEEEEEEEE. Though I do need to get a job, but I still will be less stressed and hopefully have time to edit too! Yay!

So besides the 100 theme drabbles. I'm willing to take prompts from you guys. I already have a couple based on a review on AO3 and one on this site. So, I may write those whenever I get inspired.

And at long last...I can finally reply to reviews because I actually got some! I'm so happy guys you have no idea.

Allhailthesith: Huh, apparently you're not the only one. FFnet needs to get their act together.

Pika5490: You give me life, my dear. I enjoy reading your reactions. And to answer your questions!

⁃Sasuke doesn't even think about dodging, it's just instinctual, I would think.

⁃She is not gonna be the next Sakura either...that would require chakra she doesn't have. Also she really will be terrible in an actual fight. I just needed to give her something to do for a few months.

⁃She met Kabuto first, and he's our leading man soooooo yeah.

⁃No..she wanted to gain his trust first before revealing anything too big. Kabuto's kind of a skeptic. She'd love to stop him if she could (and she's tried) but alas it was in vain.

⁃Erm...well. I wanted her in Konoha for a bit so I could add some more characters.

⁃Even among Naruto fans, I was an oddity. Actually I started watching it at age 12-13, and my Naruto phase was from ages 12-15ish. And lemme tell you there was nothing for the Kabuto fan girls. nothiiiing. I may have been the only one.

⁃Oh he'd beat her anyway regardless. He was just supposed to be training her.

⁃Kabuto's currently going through a transformation that's having an effect on his behavior. I mean he can get like this normally too but this is very much because of the snake shit.

⁃Tell ya what. I will write some sort of outtake thingy in the drabble collection just for you. She's trying to restrain herself from fangirling in the main story.

I love hearing from you guys and I'd actually love to chat about the story with you as well. Just drop me a PM anytime.

Review and enjoy!


	31. Enthusiasm

[Marie]

Tenten lives alone in a small apartment.

It's actually a lot bigger than what I'm used to.

"Alright, there's the bathroom, kitchen, armory, bedroom, living room. During your stay I'll be sleeping on the couch, so make yourself at home." says Tenten, pointing to the various rooms.

Despite the apartment being bigger than my old one, it was still compact enough for Tenten to be able to point to each room without moving and make perfect sense.

I shake my head. "You don't have to do that. I'm perfectly happy on the couch. Seriously."

Tenten blinks. "No, no. I insist."

"Seriously, the couch looks extremely comfortable. I wouldn't want to impose, it'd be rude."

Tenten laughs. "You're not what I expected, Marie-chan."

"What did you expect?" I ask tentatively.

"Well I was told that you were the lover of Orochimaru's second in command. I expected someone more..." she trails off awkwardly.

"Rude? Evil?Brash? Sadistic?" I ask, a slight smile forming on my face.

"Well...um." Tenten averts her eyes in embarrassment.

I laugh. "No, no. I understand. If I were in your shoes I would've probably thought the same."

Tenten laughs nervously in response.

"So...I'm just going to take the couch if that's alright with you." I say to break the awkwardness.

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[Tenten]

When Tenten was first assigned to protect and supervise Marie Baxter, she inwardly dreaded the assignment.

Despite her infinite tolerance for eccentricities, Tenten has zero tolerance for cruelty. The attack on Konoha during the Chūnin exams several years ago was orchestrated by Orochimaru and his henchmen...and she was just going to let the girlfriend of his top subordinate stay at her house? Seriously?

It didn't help that she was the only young kunoichi fluent in the girl's native language.

Much to Tenten's surprise, her first real impression of Marie was warm and friendly.

Though Tenten may have made it awkward by mentioning her surprise at Marie's cheery demeanor...

The awkward silence is broken by the unexpected arrival of the louder of her two teammates bursting through the door as if he lived there.

"GOOD AFTERNOON TENTEN! READY FOR TRAINING?"

Tenten twitches in annoyance.

Marie's face brightens with recognition, her face erupting into a large grin.

Tenten rolls her eyes. "Lee, I told you. I'm on a security detail mission."

Lee's enthusiasm dwindles slightly, but he perks up again when he sees Tenten's temporary roommate.

"Hello! I am Rock Lee! It is a pleasure to meet you!" Lee bows in greeting.

Marie barely contains her squeal of glee. Tenten wonders why she's so excited to meet LEE, of all people.

"I am Marie! It is nice to meet you!" Marie exclaims with equal enthusiasm despite the fact she stumbles over the words with the expertise of a novice.

"You're a foreigner! Amazing!" Lee exclaims, "Where are you from?"

"Far away!" answers Marie.

"Amazing! I must give you a tour of the village!"

Marie's eyes sparkle. "I would love that!"

("Wait a moment. I'm supposed to be in charge of you. Not him.") interjects Tenten.

("Don't be silly, Tenten, of course you're coming along to translate. Can we go pleaaaaaase?")

Tenten groans. ("Fine.")

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Marie]

Lee tows me and Tenten along on the tour of Konoha with all the expected enthusiasm I expected.

I spent the entire tour with a shit eating grin on my face. Rock freaking Lee was giving me a tour of the village and he's just as glorious as I pictured.

"Um...Marie-chan?"

I look over at Tenten. Lee had gone far ahead of us, talking excitedly at a rapid pace.

"Yeah?"

"I'm not sure how to put this..."

I laugh. "I'll tell you everything when I get home. I'm supposed to fill you in anyway."

Lee finally notices we were falling behind and immediately runs to rejoin us.

("Marie-chan, are you hungry?")

I nod enthusiastically.

("Then we shall go to Ichiraku!") he exclaims, pumping his fist in the air.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Ichiraku was...an interesting experience. Since I was so picky, I had to give my order specifics to Tenten who had to translate my order to the man at the ramen bar.

But luckily Tenten is an excellent translator and the ramen I got was delicious.

Afterwards, we made our way to Tenten's apartment.

Lee bows in farewell saying something long and elegant about his evening training regimen.

As soon as the door closes. Tenten turns to me.

"Alright..fill me in."

I laugh. "Was I acting that weird?"

"Not as weird as I'm used to but weird enough to not be considered normal."

"Sorry, I just got really excited about meeting THE Rock Lee."

Tenten raises an eyebrow. "You've heard about him?"

I nod. "Well, actually I probably need to start from the beginning."

So I tell her everything. Where I'm from. How I knew so much. What I've been doing the past six months.

Tenten listens with a skeptical look on her face.

"That's...quite the story." she says after I finish my explanation.

"You don't believe me, do you?"

Tenten sighs. "Well, your story basically throws logic out the window."

I smile. "Yeah, it's pretty out there."

"Still...I don't understand why you stayed with Kabuto that long if you knew so much about this village. I'm certain that there are people here who would be well versed in the workings of space time ninjutsu."

"Well...once I realized where I was and who had captured me, I...kind of wanted to help the guy. He had no one, and I've always had a weakness for his character. Plus, I have no sense of direction. I have no combat or survival skills. I'd die in like a week."

"Not to mention the fact he basically had you under lock and key." she mutters.

I shrug. "I enjoyed my time with him actually."

Tenten pales. "I really do not want to know."

"Yeah you're still way too young to hear about all of that anyway." I say, grinning.

Tenten's eyes bulge and she blushes furiously.

"W-what!?" she sputters.

I burst out laughing. Tenten and I were going to get along just fine.

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Author's note: hehe. This was a fun chapter. Though now I'm suffering from a tiny bit of writer's block now that I have nothing to procrastinate.

Review replies!!! Ahhh!!! I love you guys!!!! I'm so happy you guys like this!!!

Smile-Evily: yes! That was what I was going for. Most people either hate Kabuto or don't really have an opinion on him. I took creative license to flesh out his character based on his backstory information rather than his actions in the series, which is why he's probably considered OOC. But really, is he? I tried to maintain his humanity in addition to his severe identity issues. Hopefully he'll be able to handle the gigantic power trip now that he has at least someone who he knows cares about him.

Moonacre BunBun: ehehehe. Well...Marie is extremely naïve. She has issues with being aware of her surroundings. It's an ADHD thing that most people forget about if they don't have it themselves. And as for Kabuto learning English , he learned it while he was training as a spy so he could blend in easier.

Review and enjoy everyone! Feel free to contact me with questions. Follow me on Twitter on @TheKlutzySheep! I post many, many cat pictures.


	32. Sannins

[Marie]

I spent the night on the couch.

Turns out that wasn't the best idea. Lee decides that 5am is a good time to retrieve Tenten for training.

Lagging behind Lee was a very irritable looking Neji, who looked as if he was just literally dragged out of bed. Despite this, his hair was still perfect. So jealous.

I lean on the edge of the couch and give Neji a sleepy wave.

Neji blinks over at me.

("You're..that girl with no chakra.")

I nod. ("I am")

("What are you doing here?")

("I WAS sleeping.") I glare in Lee's direction.

Neji sighs. ("So was I.")

("He do this often?")

("Too often.")

Lee returns dragging a sleepy Tenten by the arm.

"Have fun." I mumble and lay back down on the couch

Tenten glares. "I'll be back in a few hours. Tsunade-sama wants me to take you shopping for supplies."

("You should join us, Marie-chan!") interjects Lee.

("Pass. Maybe later. Sleep. Now.")

("Sleeping the day away is no good for the body! You must be active!")

I grunt in response, waving at them in farewell.

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The shopping trip was uneventful. I bought some much needed new underwear and shoes along with several new outfits and toiletries.

"After we drop off our things, I'm supposed to take you over to the Hokage's office." says Tenten after dropping her shopping bags on the kitchen table.

"Why?"

"Not entirely sure. I think Jiraiya-sama is in town this week and he wanted to meet you."

I grin and zip open my duffle bag, pulling out "Icha Icha Tactics".

"Let's go!"

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I skipped all the way to the Hokage's office with an amused Tenten in tow.

When we got to Tsunade's office, there was a man with shock white hair standing in front of her desk.

I hurriedly hid the novel behind my back. Didn't want to look like a freak.

Tsunade notices me and waves us inside. Jiraiya turns around and smiles in my direction.

("Hello, young lady.") he greets.

I hand the book over to Tenten covertly, who puts it into her pouch as she closes the door. I walk to Jiraiya and hold out my hand.

"Marie Baxter, and might I say I am a gigantic fan of your work." I say.

A grin breaks across the Toad Sage's face. "A foreigner, eh? And a fan! I'm flattered." He takes my hand and shakes it vigorously.

"I assume Tsunade has told you about me?"

He nods. "I was just about to go on assignment, and she told me I should stick around to meet the young lady who knew things before I left. Of course I'm also waiting around for my apprentice, so it wasn't really a problem."

I gulp. "Um...please tell me you're not going to Rain."

Jiraiya's face grows neutral.

Tsunade nods. "Sit down, both of you. Tenten, you're relieved for now. Jiraiya will escort her back when we're done with her." Tenten bows and hands me back the book, which I grip tightly. Tenten leaves, shutting the door behind her.

I'm going to save Jiraiya's life.

"Now...what is this about Rain?" asks Tsunade.

I stare at the floor. "If Jiraiya goes to Rain, he will die, ma'am."

"Specifics, Marie. Give me specifics." Tsunade's voice is laced with frustration.

"I...don't exactly remember all of the specifics, but I do know that his life will end at the hands of two of his former students, Nagato and Konan." I raise my head to see Jiraiya and Tsunade with blank looks on their faces.

"Is that so?" murmurs Jiraiya.

"It is. Nagato is considered the leader of the Akatsuki. Oh, and guess what guys? It's Danzō's fault that they turned violent. Sort of."

("Bastard.") mutters Tsunade. "Are you sure about that?"

"Eh, well to be honest I wasn't exactly paying attention to that episode. I just remember him meddling in Rain's affairs during the birth of the Akatsuki."

"I see."

"So..um. You're not going to Rain, are you?"

Jiraiya sighs. "If I do, I won't go alone."

"Bring someone powerful. Seriously."

He nods. "I'll be fine."

Jiraiya's eyes glance to the book on my lap.

"Hey, is that one of mine?"

I nod. "Can you sign it?"

"Of course!"

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Author's note: a 1.5 chapter update day! Yay!

Kabuto's coming back soon, guys. He's not gonna leave Marie in Konoha for long.

Review and enjoy!


	33. Buy the Rights

[Marie]

After the meeting, Jiraiya wanted to take a stroll around the village so we could talk.

"So, young lady. How old are you?" Jiraiya leers at me, grinning lecherously.

"Twenty-five. And I'm flattered but 1) you're the same age as my father and 2) I have a boyfriend." I grin at his bewildered facial expression.

"Well, can't blame a guy for trying." Jiraiya shrugs.

"So, how long until our protagonist and his friends show up?"

Jiraiya laughs heartily. "So, my cute little apprentice is the protagonist of the story, eh? It makes sense. He and his friends should be here in the next couple of hours or so."

"It's a bit surreal, to be living in a world I considered to be fiction. Especially since it feels so real."

"I've seen a lot of strange things in my lifetime, but I gotta say, I never expected to meet someone from an alternate universe. Especially one where this universe is a work of fiction. It'd make a great story." says Jiraiya.

"It's the fish out of water principle that's so appealing, I think. Kinda like Alice in Wonderland. Girl falls unexpectedly into a strange world that is not her own."

"You're quite the reader, eh?"

I giggle. "Yeah. I wanted to be a librarian. Suppose I'd still become one if I ever got back. Here...I'm basically useless."

"You could write about your adventures. I could introduce you to my publisher, if you'd like."

"Nah, I'm a terrible writer. I wouldn't be able to do the story justice. Especially since I can barely speak Eastern."

"Bah, you could tell me your story and I'd write it for you."

I raise an eyebrow. "And pass it off as fiction?"

"Well why not? It has everything. Adventure, comedy, romance. I'd love to help!"

"I dunno if people would want to read about my boring life. Seriously all I did was sit in a room and read your books for almost an entire month."

"Ahhh but what about your interactions with Orochimaru's handsome young subordinate?? Surely that would make for good literature."

I giggle. Of course he was interested in the erotic aspect of the story. "Well...I'm pretty sure if Kabuto discovered that someone published a detailed account of his sexual escapades, he'd assassinate you. Fictional or not."

"Hmph. That boy is rather skilled in his field. I suppose you're right." Jiraiya narrows his eyes and pouts like a child.

"Sorry. Listen I'd totally sell you the rights to my story if I knew Kabuto wouldn't care. But he's a kind of private guy and honestly I wouldn't want to break the trust I've built with him."

Jiraiya smiles. "I understand completely. It's very honorable. I like you, young lady."

"Aw, thanks!"

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Kakashi]

When Team Kakashi finally approach the gates of Konoha, Kakashi was ready to go straight home, catch up on his reading and pass out, in that order.

Of course nothing ever goes according to plan.

In the far distance, Jiraiya was waiting by the gates with a short woman in her early twenties.

The woman's face breaks out into a smile as she yells ("WOOD BOY!") in Western.

She waves both of her arms excitedly.

Yamato sighs. "I really wish she'd stop calling me that."

"You know this girl?" asks Kakashi.

"Yeah...that's Kabuto's girlfriend. She's really weird." interjects Naruto.

Yamato nods. "Her name is Marie. She's...definitely different."

"Good different or bad different?" inquires Kakashi.

Both of his partners shrug in indifference.

"Well, why is she even here?"

"Kabuto basically dumped her in our hands and fled, saying she knew a lot of things about the Akatsuki that even he didn't know." explains Naruto.

"Curious."

As they approached the gate, Marie ran over to Yamato, and hugging him tightly.

("I'm so glad you came back safely") she says, releasing a very red Yamato.

Jiraiya laughs. "Quite the greeter, eh?"

Marie waves at Kakashi and Naruto. "You two would get hugs as well, but I don't know you as well as I know Yamato-kun yet."

("We've never met. I'm Kakashi Hatake.")

Marie's eyes widen ("Your Western is just as good as Sasuke's!") she exclaims.

("The Sharingan is a powerful learning tool.")

("No kidding. I'm Marie, it's nice to finally meet you.")

"Ero-sennin, you're friends with this weirdo?" asks Naruto.

Jiraiya glares. "Show some respect. Marie is a sweet young lady."

"Whatever."

"Anyway. She's actually very special. Kakashi, look at her with your Sharingan."

Kakashi lifts his headband and what he saw was shocking. The girl was a void. There was no chakra emanating from her whatsoever.

"What...how is that possible? How is she even alive?" stammers Kakashi.

"Simple. She's not from this universe." answers Jiraiya.

Kakashi, Naruto, and Yamato all exchange confused expressions.

"Is that even possible?" asks Yamato.

"I'm here aren't I?" interjects Marie.

("That you are. But the question is how did you get here?" )comments Kakashi, speaking in the girl's native language for her benefit.

Marie shrugs. ("I just turned up here one evening.")

("You really have no idea?") asks Jiraiya.

("None whatsoever.") answers Marie.

("This is a very interesting predicament you've gotten yourself in, Marie-chan") comments Kakashi.

"Oh, she hasn't even told you three the best part." says Jiraiya, with a giant grin on his face.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Author's note: aaaaand I'm gonna stop there. I'm not feeling so hot and its interfering with my creativity today, making me miss my 1k word deadline AGAIN. Urgh.

On a side note, I wanna write a fic featuring Kakashi one day. He's actually my favorite character, if you can believe that.

Anyway. Review and enjoy everyone!


	34. Second Lead Syndrome

[Marie]

I explained everything to Kakashi, Yamato, who then translated for Naruto. To be honest it was getting kind of tiresome.

I've turned into the exposition fairy. Urgh.

I mention this to Jiraiya.

"Can't you write all of this down in a report or something so I don't have to ever explain this to anyone ever again?"

Jiraiya nods. "I think I can arrange that. Tsunade was actually asking me to write up a report before I left her office."

I sigh in relief.

Kakashi and Yamato converse amongst themselves in Eastern while Naruto stares at me in disbelief.

I roll my eyes. ("What?")

("You're sure Ero-Sennin isn't playing a joke on us?")

("Oi, brat. You're the protagonist. That's a joke in itself.") interjects Jiraiya.

Naruto glares at Jiraiya. ("This just proves I'm going to be the Hokage, y'know!") he shouts.

I laugh. The boy really has no indoor voice.

Kakashi turns to me. "I'd really love to pick your brain about past events. Surely that's something you can do?"

I nod. "I can tell you what I can. Would you mind meeting me sometime for coffee or something? To be honest I've been wanting to meet you most of all."

Kakashi smiles through his mask. "Is that so? I hate to disappoint your expectations, but I'm really nothing special."

I grin wildly. Oh, honey if you only knew about the gigantic fan base you had back in my universe.

"Is that a yes or no?" I press.

"I'd love to, when I have the time of course."

I nod. "Of course. I understand you're a busy man. Tomorrow afternoon, maybe?"

"Where are you staying?"

"Tenten's apartment. I'd give you the address but I don't have it."

"Just meet me in front of the Hokage tower around noon."

I grin. "Are you going to be on time for once, or will I be waiting around until 2pm?"

Kakashi chuckles. "I'll try to make it by noon."

"I hate to interrupt all the flirting, but the young lady has a curfew to meet." interjects Jiraiya.

"Ah, of course. I'll see you tomorrow, Marie-chan." Kakashi waves in farewell. Naruto waves as well.

I give Yamato a goodbye hug just to fluster him. Then I follow Jiraiya.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Once Team Kakashi was out of sight and earshot I punch Jiraiya in the arm.

"Seriously!? Why'd you have to bring up flirting in front of Kakashi!?"

Jiraiya laughs and shrugs. "I know attraction when I see it. You were blushing like a schoolgirl while talking to him."

I puff out my cheeks. "Well I didn't mean it like that. Kakashi is my favorite character. I was just...awestruck by meeting him. Besides. I have a boyfriend."

"A *crazy* boyfriend who probably just sees you as a tool for his own power trip." Jiraiya points out.

"Eh, I think he sees me more than that now. Maybe. You can't really tell. Why does it matter to you anyway?"

"I just think your story would have more...appeal if there was a second male lead thrown into the mix. One of the good guys with a dark past..."

I laugh. "Still thinking of turning my story into a book?"

"I never stopped, my dear. I think I can handle the wrath of Kabuto Yakushi. I am a sage after all."

"...so is he. Pretty sure he's studying to be a Snake Sage at this very moment."

Jiraiya raises an eyebrow. "So that's why he left you behind."

"Eh, that and he's currently going through a metamorphosis that scares the shit out of me."

"Well, absorbing Orochimaru's essence is no small feat. He's probably trying to maintain his own essence and that requires a lot of patience and meditation."

I nod. "Still...I really do wish he warned me before dropping me off here."

"Well...from what I see, you're a stubborn sort of woman. If he told you, you'd probably demand to go with him and it'd have caused him to lose focus, am I right?"

I pout. "Probably."

We walk in silence after that. It wasn't long before we reached Tenten's apartment.

"Well, this is where I leave. It was a pleasure meeting you. Have fun on your lunch date tomorrow!"

Jiraiya waves and turns to walk in the opposite direction.

"It's not a date! It's an exchange of information!" I yell.

Tenten opens the door. "What's this about a date?"

I growl in frustration. "Not you too. I'm meeting with Kakashi tomorrow for lunch or coffee or something. He wants to talk about stuff."

Tenten raises an eyebrow. "Sounds like a date to me."

"It's not! Jesus Christ, people I have a boyfriend. What part of that don't you guys understand?"

"The part where he's a village traitor and we think you deserve better? Plus Kakashi-sensei needs someone."

I roll my eyes. "No he doesn't. He has his team, his village and he has Gai who's constantly trying to challenge him at things. Kabuto literally has no one."

Tenten smiles. "You really care about him, don't you?"

"I really do. At his core, he's a kind soul. It's just buried behind years of brainwashing bullshit. I know it's there. I lived with the guy for almost half a year."

"And you were...happy?" asks Tenten.

"Usually. We'd fight pretty often, and he'd get into moods where he'd be particularly cruel. But he was actually a very thoughtful and sweet boyfriend, even though he didn't have to be."

"I guess I'll take your word for it. I've never met the man so I have no room to judge."

I smile. "So, enough about my love life. Tell me about yours."

Tenten turns bright red. "W-what do you mean? I don't have one."

"Oh, psh. That's a lie. C'mon. Tell me."

"There's nothing to tell!"

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Author note:and I'm gonna cut off there. I thought about making Kakashi the second male lead and hell I'm still thinking about it. But it's probably not going to happen.

Review and enjoy folks!


	35. Not a Date

Author's note: holy shitballs guys, I've hit 50 followers and 50 reviews on ffnet. Does that mean my shitty writing is considered quality?

Whatever. I'm glad you guys are enjoying this as much as I'm enjoying writing it!

X

[Marie]

The next morning, I was able to sleep in (thank God).

Tenten had managed to convince Lee that bursting into her house at 5am while she had a guest was bad hospitality on her part, and gave their village a bad reputation.

I was able to wake up at the more reasonable time of 6:30, which was actually around the time Team Gai were finished with their morning training.

I had already begun my morning stretches by the time Tenten came home. It had been a few days since I had done any sort of exercise and I didn't want to get out of shape.

"Hey...you're training in taijutsu?" asks Tenten. She drops her duffle bag on the kitchen table.

I nod. Tenten's eyes sparkle. "You should join us for training sometime." she recommends.

I scoff. "Nah. I'm good. You guys are a bit too intense for me."

"Correction: Lee's too intense for you"

"Lee and Gai, whom I haven't met yet. I don't think I could handle training with them. Especially since I'm barely at academy level." I explain.

Tenten nods in agreement. "They're my teammates and I love them...but they're not normal people by any stretch of the means."

I continue to stretch. "Yeah so I think I'm going to ask Kakashi or Yamato to help me instead, if they're not busy. Probably Kakashi."

Tenten giggles. "You'd probably have more luck getting Yamato-taichou to help you. Kakashi's pretty busy with his own team."

"Yeah, well. I love Wood Boy to death, but I've made a habit of making him uncomfortable I don't think he'd want to instruct me in anything. Plus he can barely speak English."

"Wood Boy? I guess English is Western right?" inquires Tenten.

"I call him Wood Boy because of his bloodline limit. Y'know. He can do wood stuff. And yeah, Western is called English in my universe."

"Ahhh. So where are you meeting with Kakashi-sensei for today's lunch date?"

I glare at Tenten. "We've been over this: it's not a date. He is treating me to lunch. It will be the two of us alone. But it's not a date."

"So will you two go see a movie afterwards or no?"

"Tenten! Not a date! Just a conversation between a male and a female of similar age over a meal."

"That's a date." asserts Tenten.

I growl in frustration. "I'm going on a run. You in?"

"Sure. Sounds fun."

X

After our run, Tenten took me to the training grounds to practice taijutsu. Of course, we ran into a few familiar faces: mainly Jiraiya and Naruto.

I wave over at them and Jiraiya waves back as he and Naruto approach us.

"Either of you ladies want to be Naruto's sparring partner?"

I shrug. ("Go easy on me, kid. I'm barely academy level.")

The boy grins mischievously. ("Sure, lady.")

Naruto did not go easy on me.

Now I knew for a fact that Sasuke was definitely going easy on me. For one, I don't think I actually pulled any muscles while sparring with him.

After our match I was reduced to a sore pile of bones and muscles on the grass.

"I'm gonna get you for this, you brat. Just you wait." I mutter angrily under my breath.

("Marie-chan, are you alright? You're not hurt or anything?") asks Naruto in a faux-innocent tone.

I respond with a glare as he helps me up and brushes me off.

I limp towards Tenten. "I think that's enough exercise for...forever."

Jiraiya laughs heartily. "Aw, you'll be fine, young lady. The brat just doesn't know his own strength."

"Uh huh. Okay. Whatever. Tenten you may need to carry me. Later boys." I brace myself against Tenten as I limp back to her apartment.

X

After a shower and a change of clothes, it was almost noon. I look at myself in the mirror: T-shirt, shorts, sandals, with my hair in a high ponytail. Casual attire for a casual meeting.

"Hey, you alright finding your way to the tower by yourself?" asks Tenten

I nod. "Yeah. And you're alright letting me go by myself."

Tenten nods. "You're actually considered an extremely low security risk and from what I've seen of your combat skills..."

I glare. "Yeah yeah. Hilarious. I'll be back later."

I close the apartment door and hear a muffled "Have fun!" from Tenten.

X

When I arrived at the Hokage Tower, Kakashi was nowhere in sight.

There was, however, a man who I estimated to be slightly older than me, with a mop of brown hair and purple facepaint.

I stare. Seriously?

("Excuse me, I seem to be a little lost. Can you help me?") inquires Totally Not Kakashi.

I snort. "Hey Kakashi. Nice getup."

Kakashi smirks. It's a sexy smirk. No. Stop. It's not sexy.

"Very perceptive of you." he drawls.

I shrug. "Not really. There was an episode where you used that exact disguise to mess with your students. Of course you were testing my knowledge with the disguise, weren't you?"

"I had a hunch. So I acted on it."

"What would have happened if I didn't recognize you?" I ask.

"Oh, I'd disappear after receiving directions, change into my normal clothes and meet you fashionably late."

"I see. So, you're okay strolling around Konoha unmasked like that?"

"In this outfit, I am merely Sukea, the traveling photographer. I see no problem with it."

I giggle. "Okay. So where are we going?"

He takes my hand in his, and starts walking "You'll seeeeeee~"

X

We end up at a BBQ place on the other side of town, one with tables. We grab a booth and order water.

"So, 'Sukea', what did you want to talk about?" I ask.

Kakashi fiddles with a straw and sips from his glass of water.

"Several things."

There is an awkward pause.

"Um...okay? What sort of things?"

"I was given a report yesterday after we had parted about your encounter with Danzō Shimura. Is what you told the Hokage the complete truth?"

I nod. "Yeah. He's also going to be a future Hokage for a month or so."

"Hm. Really? What happens to Tsunade-sama?"

"Oh, she goes into a coma. She'll be fine. I hope."

Kakashi raises an eyebrow. "You hope?"

"Well, thing is. My presence may have changed a lot of things."

"Such as?"

"Well, Jiraiya has now been warned about his students. In canon, he is killed in Rain. Later...there is an attack."

"On Konoha." states Kakashi. It wasn't a question. His face grows somber.

"Yeah." I confirm softly.

"Can you tell me what happens?"

"It's honestly a blur to me. A lot of things happen. It results in your death, actually. Don't worry, you get better."

"I...get better?"

I nod. "Yeah. Naruto actually talks some sense into the guy, by channeling the teachings of their shared sensei. Then the attacker actually sacrifices himself to raise the dead."

Kakashi's eyes widen. "That's not possible."

I shrug. "Don't ask me how it works. I can't tell you. But I can tell you that it's only the beginning. And...I actually have something important to tell you, but I'd prefer not to tell you in public."

"Why is that?"

"You need to hear this where you can react appropriately. It's going to hurt and you're probably not going to believe me because it's just so...out there."

Our lunch arrives. I inform Kakashi about the war, Tobi/Madara, and my boyfriend's involvement to which Kakashi was skeptical about how I handled matters.

"You let Kabuto go through with his plan knowing full well that he's going to help start a war? How does that even make sense?"

I sigh. "Think about it. The Five Great Nations band together to form the Allied Shinobi forces. Guess what? After the war is over, those ties remain strong because they overcame their opponent together. And it lasts for more than a decade. Long enough for science and technology to advance. The same thing happened in my universe during the last World War. In fact, we haven't had a World War in seventy years."

"So you're hoping to achieve world peace? Is that it?"

I shake my head. "Nothing like that. I'm saying from a diplomatic standpoint, this war will bring people together. Brotherhood in arms and all that jazz."

Kakashi's lips quirk upward into a small smile. "Your word choices are...odd. But I think I understand."

We finish our dinner and Kakashi leaves the check on the table. As we leave the restaurant, Kakashi remarks, "So where do you want to reveal this alleged life shattering secret, hm?"

"Is there a place where you like to think?"

Kakashi nods. "I think I have a good place." He grabs my hand as we start walking.

I blush slightly. "Um..Kakashi, I have a question."

"Hm?"

"What's with the hand holding?"

Kakashi chuckles. "Well, you see. Couples are less likely to be considered suspicious in crowds. If anyone who knows me sees us, they simply see a non threatening couple."

I glare. "What about your team?"

"My team left for an assignment earlier today."

I raise an eyebrow. "And you didn't go with them?"

"Well, you see. Tsunade-sama is keeping me on a short leash. A few months ago...I almost died in the field. I'm sure you are familiar with the incident in Suna."

I nod. "Of course."

We walk hand in hand in an awkward silence, broken only by my sad attempts at small talk. Eventually, we reach the famous Memorial Stone.

Kakashi lets go of my hand. "Alright, here we are. Now, what is it that you wish to tell me?"

I gulp. "You may want to sit down for this."

X

Author's note: man I thought I wasn't going to finish it on time but my muse prevailed.

Additionally, I went back and edited the first two chapters, adding more word variety and such. I plan on doing that to the entire story eventually, it's just going to take some time.

Review and enjoy, folks!


	36. The Mary Sue Nightmare

Marie*

Kakashi stayed silent throughout the entire story. I left out the part about him witnessing Rin's death. I decided to break it to him slowly.

Even without his mask, his face was completely unreadable.

After I finished, he raised an eyebrow skeptically.

We look at each other in awkward silence.

Finally he breaks it.

"I find all of that extremely difficult to believe."

"Is it?" I quip.

"In fact, I dare say that it's impossible. For one, how did Madara Uchiha even know that Obito was in any danger to begin with?"

I groan. "I knew I should have payed more attention to the plot. I dunno, he probably had one of those Zetsu thingies tailing his relatives."

Kakashi looks even more skeptical.

"All of his relatives?"

I shrug "Well, the ones that were shinobi at least."

"Be realistic. If every single Uchiha shinobi was tailed, they'd know almost instantly."

"Uhhh..plot magic?" I theorize weakly.

"Nice try. Still...Obito would have come to us immediately after he was recovered."

"That's the thing. Rin died before he was recovered. He saw all of it."

Kakashi's eyes widen. He looks at me in shock.

"You're...you're sure about this?" he asks weakly.

I nod. "Yeah. He wanted to help you guys."

"He must...he must really hate me." Kakashi murmurs. He stares at his feet, his head in his hands.

I hesitate. How do I handle this situation? Do I comfort him and deny the fact? Because Obito actually didn't hate Kakashi. Obito understood that Rin committed suicide by Kakashi's hand.

Except it wouldn't give Kakashi any comfort to know that Obito didn't currently have any feelings towards the action whatsoever. He instead blamed the world they lived in. I didn't know what was worse to be honest.

Instead I opted for silent comfort. I kneel next to Kakashi and wrap my arms around him, rubbing his back comfortingly.

Kakashi doesn't cry, he just hangs his head in his hands silently in contemplation.

I give him a few minutes, leaning my head on his shoulder.

"He...he doesn't hate you." I rasp softly. "In fact he bears no feelings for you whatsoever, good or bad. Besides, I thought you didn't believe me."

Kakashi's shoulders slump slightly.

"I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt. The mere thought that Obito, living or dead, knows that I broke my promise to protect Rin at all costs is heartbreaking enough. It's something I've contemplated for years."

I nod solemnly. "I know. You come out here almost every day, don't you?"

"I do. How do you know that?"

I smile slightly. "I know things, remember?"

"...right." he says tonelessly.

"Still don't believe me?"

"No offense. But I'm not one to blindly believe everything a cute girl says."

I snort. "Cute, you say?"

"Why did you think I agreed to go on a date with you?"

I groan and untangle myself from him. "Not you too!"

"Huh?" Kakashi sits up and looks at me in mock confusion, his lips trembling in an attempt to cover up the growing smile.

"I wasn't asking you on a date!" I felt my cheeks burning red.

Kakashi's eyes crinkle in amusement. "I know. Shame, though. I've never been on a date before."

I raise an eyebrow. "Now that, I find hard to believe."

Kakashi shrugs. "Believe what you wish. It's the truth. I've never had the time to pursue a romantic relationship what with my many duties to the village..."

I roll my eyes. "Not to mention the fact that no woman in the village knows what you look like."

"Any woman who chooses their dates purely on physical appearance is not worth my time anyway."

I giggle. "Yeah, yeah. Okay. Sorry to disappoint, but I have someone already."

Kakashi smirks. "So I've been told. I was also told that he dropped you off and disappeared without your permission."

"This...this is true. What's your point?"

"I'm just saying that I am currently enjoying your company and I would like to do it again properly without all of the serious subject matter."

I snort. "You know a girl and a guy can be friends and go places without it being a date."

"I know, but I'd like to keep the option open. You're an interesting and attractive woman, Marie-chan."

Now it was my turn to put my head in my hands.

"Oh no...oh nononono. I'm turning into a Mary Sue. My worst nightmare has come true." I mumble.

"A...what?"

I look over at Kakashi. He looks confused.

"It's...a character type. Usually a female that is in self insert fan literature. She is unbelievably beautiful and without flaws. She always has the singing voice of an angel and excels at everything. Plus every attractive male character falls in love with her."

Kakashi blinks. Then he starts laughing.

"I wouldn't say you've turned into one of those." he gasps between laughs.

"But but but. You're one of three guys close to my age that I've met and two out of the three of them have expressed romantic desire towards me."

This only makes Kakashi laugh harder.

"I'm assuming the third man is Tenzō?" he theorizes after he finishes laughing his ass off.

"Yeah."

"I'm sure you have no danger in catching his eye. You make him immensely uncomfortable."

I giggle. "It's fun."

"Still, it's plain to see that you're far from perfect. Besides, my desire is merely of a curious nature with the potential to grow if allowed."

I groan. "You're making this difficult, man. It's true that Kabuto and I were merely roommates with benefits but...something was growing. I'm not sure I want to snuff it out just yet."

"And I'm not asking you to. Listen, I've been put on light duty. I have nothing to do. You have nothing to do."

"Are you wanting to take over Tenten's security duties or something? That's something you have to take up with Tsunade."

Kakashi laughs. "It's actually already been decided. Tenten has another mission with her team and I've been assigned to watch you starting tomorrow. Think of it as an upgrade. I even have a spare bedroom."

Inwardly I squeal. Don't get me wrong, I loved living with Tenten, but she was always busy and left me locked in the house more often due to her duties. Plus the early morning Lee visits were a bit...irritating.

"Um...okay?"

X

I go back to Tenten's apartment around 3pm.

Tenten giggles when she sees me. "So, guess what?"

I roll my eyes. "I'm being handed to Kakashi?"

She grins at me. "He told you? Of course he did! I'm so excited. You have to tell me what he looks like under the mask."

I laugh. "Okay. I will. If I ever get to see it."

Of course I already knew what he looks like under there, but I didn't want to give away his Sukea persona.

"So what's with the change in guards?" I ask.

"Well, my team and I are going to Suna for awhile to help them with something."

"How long?"

"About two weeks or so."

"Ah. So this wasn't something he requested."

Tenten giggles.

X

Author's note: Guys I'm sorry for the wait! I kinda lost the inspiration and motivation for a bit. Sorry if it's terrible.

Review and enjoy!


	37. Moving Day: Awkward Edition

{Naruto}

"Ne, Kakashi-sensei, d'ya really think it's a good idea for me to come with you to pick up that woman?"

Kakashi glances at Naruto in suspicion.

"And why would you ask that, Naruto? Surely you haven't done anything to Marie-chan for her to have an ill opinion of you already, hmm?"

Naruto grins sheepishly. "Well...eh ehehehe I may have beaten her pretty thoroughly at sparring when she told me to go easy on her."

Kakashi crinkles his eye in amusement. "Ah, not to worry. I'm sure you're already forgiven. Why don't you go knock on the door and apologize?"

"A-are you sure, Sensei? You didn't see her. She was pretty mad."

Kakashi chuckles. "I'm positive. Go ahead, knock on the door."

Naruto gulps. Sure, Marie-chan was weak as a kitten, but her rage almost rivaled Sakura-chan in intensity. Must be a girl thing.

Kakashi walks over away from the line of sight of the doorway.

Naruto approaches the door and knocks firmly.

The door opens to reveal Marie-chan.

Her face turns into a scowl immediately when she sees Naruto.

"You." she growls.

Then she slams the door in his face.

Naruto sighs as he hears Kakashi's light chuckling.

"You knew that was going to happen, didn't you?"

"I had an inkling, yes."

x

{Marie}

"Who was that, Marie-chan?" asks Tenten. She was packing for her trip to Suna.

"Naruto. I slammed the door in his face."

"Still sore about yesterday?"

I gave Tenten a look. "Duh. I told him to go easy on me."

Naruto knocks on the door again. I groan.

("Oi. Brat! I don't want to talk to you!") I yell.

("Would you rather talk to me?") asks another male voice that was definitely not Naruto.

I look through the peephole and sure enough Kakashi was standing next to Naruto, smiling through his mask.

I open the door with a smile. "Hey, Kakashi. How's it going?"

"It's going well. I'm told that you and one of my teammates had a bit of a misunderstanding yesterday morning. I decided to kill two birds with one stone and bring him over to apologize while fetching you for your move. Are you all packed?"

I glare at Naruto. "Is he actually sorry?"

Kakashi laughs. "Of course he's sorry." He turns to Naruto. ("You're sorry for beating her up are you not?")

Naruto grumbles. ("Sorry for beating you up yesterday, Marie-chan. I didn't know that you were so unskilled.")

I twitch in annoyance. He's worse than Sasuke.

("Apology accepted.") I mumble.

Naruto turns to Kakashi. ("Can I go now?")

Kakashi sighs deeply. ("I guess.")

Naruto grins. ("Awesome. See you later Kakashi-sensei. Bye Marie-chan!")

With that he disappears in a flurry of orange.

I chuckle. "Ah, teenagers. Always having to be somewhere. I kinda miss it."

"I don't. I was a teenager during the Third Great Ninja War. Anyway. Are you all packed?"

I grin and retrieve my duffle bag. I give Tenten a hug.

"The minute you get back to Konoha, you come and see me, alright? I wanna hear about Suna." I say.

"It's just a bunch of sand, you know."

"Yes, but I wanna know what happens! Did Lee challenge Gaara to some stupid contest? How did Neji's hair fare during the sandstorms? How long did it take for you to have to have some alone time away from stupid boys? You know, the important stuff!"

Tenten grins. "Okay. I will. Be good for Kakashi-sensei, alright?"

I mock gasp. "My dear, I am always good. How dare you suggest otherwise!?"

She laughs and waves goodbye. I then follow Kakashi out the door.

We walk in silence. It's awkward, so I attempt small talk.

"So, how far is your place?"

"Not far, quite close."

Grr. Not helpful.

X

Kakashi was right. It only took about five minutes to get to his apartment. I walk in and drop my bags in amazement.

It was huuuuge.

"Damn, they really paid you well for your time in the ANBU didn't they?"

Kakashi laughs. "I suppose. Come here, I'll give you a tour."

The living area was connected to a balcony living area that overlooked the entire village. Each had its own seating arrangement. The indoor living room had a nice TV AND a DVD/VCR player.

The kitchen was huge, though I got the feeling that Kakashi didn't cook or entertain much since there was only a small table with two chairs for dining.

He had a study with a computer and a separate room for books in addition to an armory and a master bedroom.

Finally he showed me to my bedroom which was right across from his.

"Um, so do I get my own bathroom too?" I ask.

"Unfortunately, no. You and I will share a bathroom. I hope that is okay."

I nod. "That's fine. I'm assuming you're more of a morning shower guy? Most of you shinobi are morning people for some reason."

"...I am."

"Then we won't have any problem whatsoever."

There is a silence. We stare at one another.

It's awkward.

"So...um. What now?" I ask in an attempt to break the silence.

"Well..I guess I'll leave you alone to settle in. I have to uh...sharpen my kunai. Haven't gotten around to it since my scuffle with Kakuzu...two weeks ago. Make yourself at home."

Kakashi bows and exits the room in a blur.

I laugh. Well that's one way to exit an awkward situation.

X

Author's note: Aaaaand hopefully I haven't written myself in a corner. I think I may do another time skip. I miss writing Kabuto and Marie dialogue in the main story.

Anyhoo, review and enjoy!


	38. The Dream

Remember when I said I was thinking of making Kakashi the second male love interest? Well..yeah. Let's just call him a long detour and pure wish fulfillment because our protagonist can't keep it in her pants. That being said, there is a lemon in this chapter.

{Marie}

I had a dream. Nightmare, actually.

One where my hair and eyes changed color according to my mood. Where I had obtained the Byakugan AND the Mangekyou Sharingan, plus I had the ability to use ninjutsu despite the fact that I'm literally incapable of producing the chakra necessary.

I had a literal harem of male shinobi that included the entire Akatsuki and any Konoha male over 18. They would not leave me the fuck alone and fought over me constantly.

There was more but...I'm still not entirely comfortable with the entire ordeal.

This was one of those "wake up screaming bloody murder" sort of dreams. I've always had a habit of waking up in the middle of dreams and if I was talking during the dream, I'd catch myself mid sentence when I wake up.

However I've never woke up screaming until tonight.

Kakashi storms into my room, maskless and shirtless, with his Sharingan activated (dude it glows, I totally didn't know). He closes the Sharingan eye when he realizes that I'm not actually being attacked.

"Are...you okay?" he asks. He looks at me in bewilderment.

"Yeah. I'm...I'm fine. I just had a nightmare."

Kakashi nods in understanding. "Do you need...erm...?"

"Well..to be honest it was more disturbing then scary but I will never ever turn down cuddles. Hop in."

Kakashi laughs. "Alright, then." He takes the empty side of the bed for himself and I snuggle myself into his chest, taking his arms and placing them in a spooning position. It's different with Kakashi. He's larger than Kabuto and his body engulfs me. He smells nice. He feels nice.

I scold myself. Stop. This is platonic. I don't want to break his heart by sleeping with him and immediately going back with Kabuto once he decides to retrieve me.

Though...it'd be another story if he suggests an..arrangement first. I'd have to stop him if he actually tried to physically start something. But if we set...boundaries. I could go home and be like "hey I banged Kakashi."

I'm a terrible person. What is wrong with me?

"So, tell me about your dream. If you're comfortable with telling me, of course." murmurs Kakashi against my hair.

"Promise you won't laugh at me?"

"That depends."

"On?"

"Whether I find it amusing, of course."

I roll my eyes. "Well...you remember yesterday what I said when you expressed an interest in me?"

"Yes...? Does this have something to do with that character archetype that you were afraid of becoming?"

I clench my teeth. "Yeah. I dreamed my hair could change color based on my mood and I could wield the Byakugan and the Sharingan at the same time."

Kakashi snorts in amusement. "That's why you were screaming?"

"You don't understand! Being a Sue is terrifying. Their flaws are always something dramatic like the fact they were abused or something. Other than that they're a saint. Perfect in every way. Loved by everyone. I mean...it's hard to explain why it's so bad."

"Is it because they aren't believable? More like gods than humans?"

I smile. "That's deep, man."

"Honestly I don't think you're anything like that. You have the body and strength of a mere civilian, from what I've seen you have a pretty short fuse when it comes to people like Naruto and I'm pretty sure there aren't any men falling instantly in love with you."

I snort. "Says the man spooning me whose only known me for two days."

Kakashi shrugs. "I merely find you aesthetically pleasing. You have...an unique shape."

A realization hits me like a freight train.

"Oh my God are you talking about my ass?"

Kakashi says nothing and merely giggles in confirmation.

I sigh in relief. "So nothing about feelings or being drawn to my aura or some shit like that?"

"Nothing like that. I don't really have an interest in starting a relationship with anyone. It's not very high on my priority list. I do have the occasional night of passion, if I get the chance to find the time."

"I thought you said you've never been on a date. Plus no one in the village knows what you look like."

"Not if you only sleep with civilian women outside of Konoha."

I roll my eyes. Of course.

"I was a little worried that you might be a virgin or something. Especially since you read so much porn."

"Ahahaha. It doesn't happen as often as I'd like, but I can assure you that I'm no virgin."

"Perhaps you'd like a test? Your reach versus my flexibility?" I purr.

Shit. Did I really say that out loud? SHIT. NO STOP BAD. I mean..I really REALLY want to. But...morals? My reputation? MY FEELINGS FOR ANOTHER!?

Ah, screw it. YOLO.

Kakashi chuckles softly. "Is that an invitation? Thought you weren't interested."

"Ehehehe...it's not that I'm not interested...I am very...VERY interested. Physically that is."

"Is that so?" Kakashi's voice lowers seductively against my ear.

"And ONLY physically. I can't stress this enough. My heart belongs to another. Clear?" I was beet red. I could feel it.

"Of course." I could feel his warm breath against my ear. He's so close. Why me? Why was I handed this on a silver platter?

There is silence. Awkward silence. Neither of us has made a move.

"S-so um yeah. If you're okay with that then..." I stammer.

"Then...what?"

"Y-you know." He's doing this deliberately.

"Hm. I don't know. You're going to have to spell it out for me." I feel him smile against my hair.

"It'd be...fun if we...engaged in some physical activity together."

"Oh? Looking for a sparring partner?"

I groan in frustration.

"Specifics, Marie-chan. What sort of...physical activity did you have in mind? I can't read your mind, you know."

"Theintimatekind" I quickly mumble under my breath.

"Hm? I didn't catch that."

"The. Intimate. Kind." I say, gritting my teeth in frustration.

"Hm. Quite the proposition...so...by intimate do you mean something like..."

He places his mouth on my neck, not exactly kissing, but ghosting it over my skin teasingly.

I shiver and nod.

"Hmm. I think I like that idea. It has been quite awhile, though we're going to have to relocate to my bedroom. I'm afraid I don't keep proper protection in this room."

I smile appreciatively. "That's fine."

{LEMON START}

Kakashi picks me up bridal style and carries me across the hallway to the master bedroom. After depositing me onto the very spacious and comfortable bed, he covers his body with mine, our lips meeting together.

I couldn't help comparing his kissing to Kabuto's. Kakashi was more forceful, more desperate while Kabuto took his time during the first kiss. Though, in this case this first kiss symbolized an agreement of mutual physical pleasure rather than the preamble to a romantic relationship.

Our bodies press together as we kiss, his hands immediately snaking up my shirt in preparation of its removal. Kakashi's hands rub up and down my sides, pushing my shirt higher and higher allowing his bare chest to touch my exposed belly.

We break for air and he quickly removes my shirt, pressing my bare chest against his as he plants heated kisses against my neck. I gasp at the sensation and he makes an amused noise against my neck in response.

I bury my hands in his hair. It's not as soft as Kabuto's, I lament, but it was just as thick.

Kakashi flips us over and I sit on his lap as we kiss again. His hands cup my ass tightly. Kakashi has larger hands and a stronger grip than ..him. He presses me against his hardened length and I moan into his mouth. He breaks the kiss and moves his head lower to capture a nipple in his mouth, grinding himself harder against me.

He sucks on my nipple, twirling his tongue around the tip simultaneously. I arch against him as he moves his hands from my rear to my back to steady me as he switches breasts.

'Dayum he is good with his tongue.' I think, as I move my hands to brace myself against his back.

Kakashi unlatches himself from my chest to steal another kiss as he moves his hands into my panties to cup my rear again. Never pegged him as an ass man...

He breaks the kiss and assists me in removing my underwear and I in turn remove his boxers. Kakashi's...thicker than Kabuto, though Kabuto is bigger. I cringe inwardly when I realize I'm comparing the penis sizes of two *fictional* men that I've been intimate with. How far I have fallen.

Once both of us are fully nude, Kakashi reaches over to the nightstand to retrieve a condom. There is an awkward pause as I wait for him to put it on.

After the condom is in place Kakashi pulls me into another kiss, his tongue slipping into my mouth as we relish in the feeling of our bodies together.

Then I reach below me to grab his length.

He chuckles. "Already?"

I smile in response. "I'm assuming we'll be doing this a lot in the next few days since apparently you have nothing else to do."

"Well...I wouldn't say that...but are you sure you don't want me to.-"

"You can demonstrate your oral sex skills later. I'm ready now." I interrupt.

Kakashi clicks his tongue. "So impatient. Fine. Next time we're doing this my way."

I raise an eyebrow. "And what way is that?"

"I wind you up until you scream." he murmurs seductively.

I glare. A troll in the bedroom too, huh?

"Sounds like a plan." I agree. I find his length and line myself up with it and slowly sink myself on him. We both groan at the sensation.

I give myself a moment to adjust to his presence and I rock my hips forward which he responds in equal force.

Kakashi is a silent lover. He breathes heavily but there are no accompanying sounds.

He lays on his back and puts his hands on my rear as I ride him. Kakashi's not as controlling as Kabuto, he lets me set the pace and just holds on for the ride, watching me with his Sharingan eye in awe.

Eventually I get tired and slow down and that's when he takes over. He flips us and drives himself into me over and over again, gaining speed with each thrust. Our bodies slap together and the white hot pleasure builds.

It's Kakashi who reaches his peak first, but his release propels me to reach mine as well. Usually it's the other way around.

He collapses beside me on his back carefully placing himself under the covers. I place my head on his chest and sigh in content.

{end lemon}

For the first time since we met, the silence of the afterglow was comfortable.

I was still processing what had just happened. I literally used the same pick up line Commander Shepard used on Garrus Vakarian on Kakashi Hatake and it *worked*.

"You alright?" asks Kakashi. He's stroking my hair.

I giggle. "I just had sex with Kakashi Hatake. Do you know how many girls back in my universe would kill to be me right now?"

Kakashi snorts. "You sound like a schoolgirl. How old are you anyway?"

"25. I'll be 26 in a couple of weeks actually."

"Huh. I would've guessed 20 or 21."

I laugh. "I have a baby face. How old are you?"

"You don't know?"

"Nope. We were only given an age range. You're between the ages of 29 and 31."

Kakashi chuckles. "I'm 29. I turn 30 this year."

"Ooh. An older man. How exciting."

"Not that much older than you."

"I know, I'm just joking."

We silently cuddle before sleep takes us.

x

Author's note: *hides in shame* I know I've been pushing them together for like five chapters but still...damn, Marie.

Don't worry folks. Kabuto's still the main love interest. This is just a summer fling.

Anyway.

Review replies!

Pika: He does!? Shit. Hate to say it but my Naruto knowledge is actually quite limited. I'll change it accordingly. Also happy you're enjoying it!


	39. The Morning After

{Marie}

I woke up before Kakashi. I had way too much on my mind to really get a good night's sleep.

I had really gone and slept with a main character. The freaking future Sixth Hokage. I slept with the Sixth Hokage. For shits and giggles.

Shit. What if people find out? Then again, Jiraiya and Tenten would be delighted.

Except..it wasn't what they hoped. It was just a simple stress relief activity that both of us agreed to engage in together.

I groan and snuggle into Kakashi's chest. All of that can wait. Right now I'm sharing a bed with a completely nude (and maskless) Kakashi Hatake.

My movement made the Copy Ninja stir. He opens his good eye and smiles at me.

"Hey." I whisper.

"Hello."

I roll off of him and wrap myself in the covers before getting into a sitting position.

"Sleep well?" I ask.

Kakashi yawns. "I could use a little more time in bed."

I laugh "Do you have anywhere to be today?"

"Training with Naruto. I think I'll be fashionably late as usual. See,

I was seduced by this woman with an incredible behind..."

I cackle and lie down next to him on the pillow. Kakashi leans over and kisses me sleepily. I return the kiss and he rolls on top.

We end up having a sleepy round of morning sex. Kabuto and I never had morning sex as he was always gone before I woke up.

"Ahhh. That's a nice way to wake up." I sigh dreamily.

"Indeed." Kakashi concurs. "Ah, well. I suppose it's time to get out of bed."

I grumble. "But I don't wanna..."

"Well, feel free to stay in bed but I have to eat breakfast and start my day. So unless you want to stay here all day, I'd wake up if I were you."

"Fine." I groan and get out of bed to retrieve my clothes from the room across the hall. I caught Kakashi staring appreciatively at my bare ass out of the corner of my eye.

I dress and head to the kitchen. Kakashi was also fully dressed, mask pulled down to his chin so he could eat breakfast.

"So, should I just go ahead and move my stuff to your room?" I ask.

Kakashi smiles. "If you'd like to continue our arrangement, then of course."

I smirk suggestively. "But of course."

Kakashi's eye scans up and down my body lustfully in response. "I look forward to it. Though...you may want to cover up your neck..."

I blanch. "You didn't."

Kakashi's cheeks turn pink. "I did."

I bolt to the bathroom mirror. Sure enough, there were loud red marks all over my neck that screamed 'I had a loooot of fun last night'

I whimper. It's too hot to wear a scarf and I didn't have any make up available.

I bang my head against the bathroom mirror.

"Um..what did you do when Kabuto left marks like that?"

I roll my eyes. "He never left marks. He basically healed the marks as they popped up. Same with the marks I gave him. Though he forgot the first time we did it and he actually went to a meeting with love bites all over his neck. Ahhh...good times."

"You miss him."

I nod sadly. "Yeah. I do. A lot. He needs time to sort out his transformation, though."

"Well...at least he cared enough to not take you with him."

I snort. "Yeah. I guess. I could never tell what he felt to be honest. Hence why I'm so okay with you and I sleeping together. Though you know this will end once I leave with him."

"If."

"Yeah. If." The words felt heavy in my mouth.

I shake my head. Enough. I gotta figure out what I'm going to do about my neck.

"Is it..possible to get Sakura over here or something? I'd really rather not stay cooped up in here because of something *you* did."

Kakashi chuckles. "Fair enough. I'll give her a call."

X

{Sakura}

Sakura got a strange call from her former sensei turned teammate at 7am.

"I have some healing for you to do. Be discreet."

After that he left his address and hung up.

Sakura makes her way to Kakashi's apartment. It was odd that in the three years that they've been teammates not once had she visited Kakashi at his home.

She knocks on the door and Kakashi answers and ushers her in.

"Hey..Kakashi-sensei. What's with all the secrecy?"

"Ehehehe, well. The healing isn't for me. See, I had a lady friend over and-"

"Say no more. I understand."

Inwardly Sakura was shocked. Kakashi actually takes lovers? It's too weird to think about.

Kakashi leads Sakura to a bathroom to reveal:

"Marie-chan!?"

"Sakura-chan!"

"Oh, you two know each other?"

Sakura nods. "Yamato-taichou rescued her a few months ago."

Marie grins and gives Sakura a hug. "It's so good to see you!" Her Eastern is stilted, but understandable.

Sakura returns the hug awkwardly and looks at Kakashi in search of an explanation.

"Kakashi-sensei. A moment in private, please?"

"Of course." He leads her to a balcony.

Once the door closes she glares at Kakashi in fury.

"Do you KNOW who that woman is? That's Kabuto's lover!"

Kakashi's eye remains expressionless. "I know. We have a temporary arrangement. I guess you can say she's currently my lover. For a time, at least."

Sakura blanches. "What!? When did this happen? How did this happen? Why did this happen?"

"A very long story that Marie should probably explain herself. It's quite confusing. Though...our arrangement is quite simple to explain but you're way too young to know the details."

Sakura glares. "I'm 17 and a medical shinobi. Try me."

"Stress relief."

"...I see. Well. I suppose Tsunade-sama knows about her?"

"She's the one who assigned Marie-chan to me for security during her stay here."

Sakura raises an eyebrow. "Does she also know you're sleeping with her?"

"I...don't see how that's relevant."

"I guess it isn't as long as you're doing your job, I suppose. Alright. I'll fix her up. But you owe me big time, Kakashi-sensei. And be careful next time. I don't want to make any more of these early morning house calls."

Kakashi nods sheepishly. "Yes ma'am."

X

Author's note: I suppose I get more relationships to develop instead of actual plot now. Yay padding!

Review and enjoy!


	40. What if?

{Marie}

After Sakura had gotten rid of the evidence, she left for her shift at the hospital.

After she leaves, Kakashi stretches and sighs in relief.

"That was close."

"Was she angry or something?"

Kakashi shrugs. "Not really. She was more confused by your presence than angry."

"Heh. That makes sense. I'm not sure how I got here myself."

Kakashi raises an eyebrow. "Here in this universe or here in my apartment?"

"Both, actually. I still find all of this extremely surreal."

"I can imagine. You've been here for months, though. The shock must have worn off by now."

I shake my head. "Nope. It only got worse when I got to Konoha. For the past six months, I've only had contact with three people: Orochimaru, Sasuke, and Kabuto. This entire village is filled with familiar faces. It's...jarring."

Kakashi's eye looks concerned. It's hard to tell what he's feeling behind the mask. I suppose that's why he wears it.

"Are you sure you want to come with me, then?" he asks softly.

I snort. "Duh. It may be jarring but it's freaking exciting at the same time."

"Aah. Okay."

"So, how long are we going to make Naruto wait?" I ask.

"Well...I think I'm going to have to take you on a shopping trip before we see him. I suppose you want to keep...all of this a secret?"

I nod. "Yeah. I don't really want to tarnish any reputations. I usually don't hop into bed with strange men this easily."

"I wasn't insinuating anything. Also, who's strange?"

I roll my eyes. "You wear a mask on a daily basis. That's not normal behavior."

"Hmph. Shouldn't judge a man by his choice in attire."

"...Did I mention that you're one of my favorite characters?"

Kakashi laughs. "Me? Really?"

"Think about it. If you had the opportunity to spend time with one of the most beautiful and clever women in literature, what would you do?"

"A very good question. I'd have to give it some thought. It would depend on the circumstances."

"Okay. What if this woman...expressed some interest in you?" I ask.

"Oh my. Well, I'd have to act on it. It's kind of an amazing opportunity."

I grin. "Exactly. And that is exactly how I ended up in your bed."

"So you consider me one of the most handsome and clever men in literature? Is that what you're trying to imply?"

I roll my eyes. "No. In the genre your series is in, you are considered one of the most attractive and complex men in shonen as well as one of the most talented shinobi of this era."

Kakashi laughs nervously. "That's...that's a bit unnerving."

"Yeah. It kind of is. Sorry if I made you uncomfortable."

Kakashi crinkles his eye. "It's fine. I'll be making you equally if not more uncomfortable later tonight."

I blush. "W-what?"

Kakashi has a lustful look in his eye as he moves closer to me. He pulls down his mask to capture my lips with his gently and briefly. He gives me a cocky smile before he pulls his mask on again.

"You'll see."

X

After a very awkward trip to the drugstore, I managed to find a concealer in my skin tone.

We end up leisurely walking to the training grounds around noon.

"So...how late are we?" I ask.

Kakashi grins through his mask. "I told him to be here by 8am."

My mouth opens in shock. "Do you ever go anywhere on time?"

"Not since I was a chūnin. Whether it's two minutes late or...four hours late."

I scrunch my nose. "Isn't four hours late a bit excessive? Might as well not show up at all."

"It is, but I'm sure Jiraiya-sama can manage in my absence."

I gulp. "S-so Jiraiya's going to be there?"

"Of course."

"And he knows about you taking over Tenten's post?"

"...Yes?"

"Wonderful." I mutter under my breath.

"...Why did you ask?"

"It's...best if you didn't know. Trust me."

We arrive at the training grounds. Sure enough, Jiraiya and roughly five Naruto's are there.

The clones poof out of existence when Naruto sees Kakashi.

("YOU'RE LATE, KAKASHI-SENSEI!")he yells.

Jiraiya glances over at me and chuckles. ("Oh, I think he has a valid excuse. He's entertaining a lady.")

Naruto looks confused. ("What do you mean by that, Ero-sennin?")

Jiraiya whacks Naruto on the head. ("Have I taught you nothing?")

Naruto rubs his head. ("Hey! Is it something perverted? I usually tune those lessons out.")

Jiraiya sighs in defeat. ("You're hopeless.) Hey! Young lady! I hear you found yourself a gentleman escort, congratulations!" He grins and winks at Kakashi.

Kakashi ignores the comment and says nothing.

I glare at Jiraiya. "Dude. Don't you have a spy network to run or a book to write or something besides prying into my personal life?"

Naruto narrows his eyes at me. ("Oi, lady why don't you ever speak in Eastern? I know you can.")

I shift my glare over to Naruto. ("I don't speak it very well. Obviously.")

I really don't mean to be hostile towards the kid. Really I don't. He just...brings it out of me for some reason. Naruto's about to mature. He's at the point where he still has some of the defiant kid in him that requires a lot of tough love.

Jiraiya laughs heartily. "Don't mind the kid he just feels excluded. I've been trying to teach him a little Western but I don't think the language likes him very much."

"I know the feeling. Eastern hates me."

"Anyway. Kakashi, I guess you're taking over. I'll relieve you of babysitting for a bit."

Kakashi nods to me. "See you later, Marie-chan."

I wave. "Later!"

I turn to Jiraiya. "So, you're stealing me to go where?"

"Tsunade wants to consult you on classified matters. I'm supposed to escort you to the Hokage tower."

X

Author's note: omg the plot is going to move again. Yay goodbye blockage!

Review and enjoy!


	41. Intel Check

{Marie}

As soon as Kakashi was out of sight and earshot, Jiraiya flashes me a huge grin.

"Something. Happened." he states with a giggle.

I try to keep my face neutral. I must not break. I must not.

"What do you mean?"

"Don't play coy with me, young lady. I have eyes you know."

I roll my eyes. "You're reading into this way too much."

"Kakashi is never ever four hours late to anything unless he's had sex in the past 16 hours. Two hours is business as usual but anything over two hours usually involves a lady."

I raise an eyebrow. "You're kidding. You totally made that up. There's no way you could possibly know that."

"Believe what you wish. Your body language gives you away as well. Your lips are puffier than usual. Kakashi has extra spring in his step. It's the little things."

I grumble. "Fine. Yes. Something happened. Like it's any of your business. Just don't go spreading it around. It's purely physical. Our relationship remains at the friendship level."

Jiraiya giggles. "Oh? And which one of you suggested it first?"

I glare. "No more plot material for you, sir."

Jiraiya pouts. "Fine. I'll drop it. Just be careful, alright? Kakashi keeps people at a distance."

"Which is why this works out so well. I need that right now."

"Alright. If you say so."

X

When we arrive at the Hokage's office Tsunade is completely focused on paperwork.

She acknowledges our presence with a nod

"Sit down. We have a lot to discuss."

She puts her pen down and takes off her reading glasses.

"Do you know when the Akatsuki attacks Konoha?"

I nod. "Well...whenever Itachi dies. He's the only thing holding them back from attacking."

"And that's...soon?"

I frown. "Well right now Sasuke is assembling his team, I think. I don't know the locations of Orochimaru's hideouts but I assume we have about a month since I got here til he strikes. Then maybe a week after that. I really can't say for sure. That's my best guess."

Tsunade nods. "Alright. I've sent Team Gai to Suna to negotiate for assistance. We should be prepared for whatever comes."

"I'm sure the Kazekage will send many reinforcements. You guys did save his life after all against the same foe."

"That's what we're hoping. There's talk of a summit between the Kages in the future, and both Konoha and Suna are going to address the Akatsuki issue to the entire summit."

"Well, hopefully you won't end up in a coma this time." I lower my voice. "And if I were you, I'd start looking for a successor just in case."

"Hm. Why do you say that?"

"You. Know. Who. will declare himself Hokage if you don't."

"Alright. I'll make a list of possible candidates. Just in case. You-know-who won't get to be Hokage for a second if I have something to say about it."

"He wasn't for very long, he got assassinated at the summit by Sasuke Uchiha."

Tsunade snorts. "Really?"

"Yup. Don't be too excited about that, though. His thirst for vengeance goes out of control. I've tried mellowing out the kid with my influence but he's a blockhead."

"Most teenage boys are." affirms Tsunade.

"At least we have a plan to reduce casualties. I just hope Suna doesn't reject our proposal."

"It'll probably be likely that the Kazekage will travel here himself and speak with you to determine if you're genuine."

My eyes light up. "I would be completely okay with that." I squeal excitedly.

"You're familiar with the Kazekage as well?"

I nod enthusiastically. "I just hope I can maintain some sort of professionalism around him. Gaara is adorable."

Tsunade chuckles. "Well, I've never heard that word used to describe him."

"Out of universe he's portrayed in a very sympathetic light."

"I...see."

I cough awkwardly. "Also. Jiraiya. Naruto needs to go to Froggy Mountain and complete his sage training pronto."

Jiraiya sputters. "Froggy Mountain?"

"Yeah. I forget what it's called. In canon Naruto was late to the battle because he was completing that training. Best to give him a head start."

"He's gonna be ecstatic..." Jiraiya mutters. "I'll make contact and see what I can do."

"I...think that's all I can tell you, ma'am. I won't be of much use to you until you finish negotiations with Suna. Though, do we have any tangible evidence that the Akatsuki are planning to invade?"

Tsunade smiles. "Jiraiya has his contacts working on that as we speak. So far, they have confirmed your intel as accurate. A man who calls himself Pein has indeed risen to power in Rain and they do seem to be connected to the Akatsuki. However that is all we have so far. It's logical that eventually they will come after Naruto by invading Konoha but only after retrieving weaker hosts."

"I may have skipped a few episodes here and there so I can't tell you about any other bijuu except the one in Cloud."

"The Eight Tails? Killer Bee?"

"Yeah. I just know he's the strongest one. Naruto comes second but only because Killer Bee has tamed his beast and can harness his chakra. Please don't ask me how it works."

"Alright. If there's nothing else you can tell me, you're dismissed."

I bow politely. "Thank you for your trust, ma'am." Tsunade smiles in response.

Jiraiya leads me out of the mansion.

"Alright. What do you wanna do now, young lady? We have a while until Kakashi finishes with Naruto."

"Can I watch them? I kinda want to watch."

"Ahhh you want to see ninjutsu in action." he muses.

"Pleaseeee?"

"Of course! I'm afraid it may be a lot duller in real life than in your stories."

X

I spend my afternoon watching Kakashi and Naruto practice ninjutsu. It honestly looks like a lot of fun.

"Kinda makes you wish for a chakra network, huh young lady?" observes Jiraiya.

I nod. "It looks so cool. Like magic."

"That's what they call it in the West." he notes.

"So I've heard. Do they use wands instead of hand seals?"

"Heh. I'm not sure, actually. I haven't been very far west."

It's around dinner time when they quit. Kakashi and Naruto approach us, covered in sweat. Jiraiya pulls Naruto aside, and waves in farewell. I assume he's going to tell him about his new training goal over a bowl of ramen.

"Isn't it hot under that mask?" I ask Kakashi, who was wiping the sweat off of his headband.

"Not at all. The fabric is very breathable." he replies casually.

"Uh huh. Okay. Whatever you say."

We pick up food on our way to his apartment. When we enter Kakashi sheds his mask and vest immediately. He stretches and sighs in relief.

"You alright?" I ask.

"I will be once I've eaten and cleaned up." He flops on the table and starts eating.

"Yeah, you seem to be sweating buckets. Must suck to have to cover 6/8ths of your body in mid May."

"I'm used to it. It's normal for me." says Kakashi with a shrug.

"Alright, whatever."

We eat in silence. When Kakashi finishes he throws the contents away and retrieves his vest and mask from the floor.

"I'm going to take a shower. Once I get out..." His eye lingers down my body and back up to my face, giving me an intense look that promised many, many things.

I turn scarlet as Kakashi walks away, humming softly to himself.

X

Author's note: if that's not a set up to a lemon chapter idk what is. Next chapter will be smutful with very little other substance. I've tried to smooth out some wrinkles in the plot as well as set up future chapters so I don't write myself in a corner again. Next chapter is not going to move the plot whatsoever though.

If I ever get reported for explicit content or something, this story is available on AO3 and Wattpad as well. So fear not, dear readers.

Review and enjoy!


	42. Not Safe For Work

WARNING: This is a smutty interlude. Kakashi deserves several dammit. I'm gonna try to limit the lemons to my drabble series where appropriate themes call for it. So if you're into that stuff go check it out. I've labeled the chapters accordingly. Most will be with Kabuto since I miss him and having that side project lets me keep writing him.

I'm also going to stop labeling Marie's POV if it doesn't change. If it's first person, it's Marie. Anyone else I'll label.

X

While Kakashi showered I paced around the apartment. Eventually I made my way to his room. It was pretty simple, very few pictures, window with curtains, dresser, closet. The works.

I stop at his dresser to look at the two pictures that sat in frames. One was older, with a very handsome blond jōnin along with three children. Even at that age, Kakashi wore a mask.

I grin and look at the other picture. Baby Team 7. I squeal a bit. They were so cute back then.

"Enjoying yourself?"

I jump at the sound of Kakashi's voice.

"Holy crap don't scare me like that." I gasp.

Kakashi laughs. "I'm sorry. You just looked so lost in thought. I couldn't help myself."

"I wasn't really lost in thought. I was just looking at your old team pictures. They were so cute back then."

"Indeed they were. They've grown so much since then."

"Yeah." I sit down on the bed. Kakashi continues to stand. He's dressed comfortably in a grey t-shirt and boxer shorts. His hair is damp from the shower and his face is recently shaven. He holds his Sharingan eye closed which promos me to ask a dumb question.

"So...does it really take a lot out of you to use that eye?"

Kakashi shakes his head. "Not really, but I always like to conserve my chakra when I'm not in combat or training since the Sharingan uses my chakra reserves continuously.

I look at him with a blank face. "Whatever that means."

"I'm sure that means nothing to you since you don't actually have a chakra network."

"It means nothing to me whatsoever. I'm actually surprised I'm alive in this universe despite their different laws of nature." I say.

"You are a mystery.." Kakashi sits down on the bed behind me. He buries his face in my neck, inhaling my scent and ghosting his lips and nose on the skin of my neck.

"You're definitely alive." he murmurs near my ear. I turn around and he melds his mouth with mine gently. I maneuver myself into his lap as we kiss. I stroke his hair and he wraps his arms around my waist.

Our tongues collide and stroke one another as Kakashi places me on the pillows, his hands moving to brace himself on top of me.

Kakashi breaks the kiss and nuzzles my neck, earning him a soft sigh. He smiles against my skin.

"You make such lovely sounds." he murmurs against my neck. His warm breath tickles my skin.

I giggle at the sensation. Kakashi chuckles in response, the low timbre making me shiver in anticipation.

Kakashi grazes his mouth against the skin of my neck, placing soft kisses from under my ear and below.

"Remember, we're doing this my way tonight."he says in between kisses.

"And what is your way?" I ask, already breathing heavily.

"You will see." he whispers against my neck.

Kakashi takes his time and maps out my neck with his mouth with teasingly light kisses. I got the feeling he was gaging my reactions.

He returns to certain spots on my neck with his mouth, this time he suckles at the skin and caresses it with his tongue. I try to ram my hips into his for relief but he maintains a generous distance between our respective nether regions.

Kakashi chuckles at my attempts. "Patience. All in good time."

It's been at least ten minutes since we started foreplay and both of us are still dressed.

Kakashi moves his mouth to my collarbone and finds the most sensitive area to assault. I hum in pleasure and he captures my mouth again, this time more forcefully.

He moves his hands under my shirt and lightly strokes the skin of my stomach as we kiss.

When he breaks away, he removes his shirt and leans in for more. I caress his back softly and he makes a soft noise of approval in my mouth. I break the kiss to remove my shirt but he stops me.

"Not just yet. I want to unwrap you myself."

I blush. "I'm totally doing this to you next time."

Kakashi smiles. His lips are swollen and so appealing. "I wouldn't have it any other way."

He moves lower and lifts my shirt, exposing my stomach. He lowers his mouth to my waistline and lightly grazes my lower stomach with his lips before he moves upward. I gasp at the sensation.

Kakashi passes my stomach, taking his time to caress the skin with his hands and lips, probably taking note of my reactions. His Sharingan eye was leering lustfully at the exposed skin.

He pushes the hemline to over my breasts, kissing his way to the valley between them, nuzzling the skin and stroking my stomach as he explored with his mouth.

Finally Kakashi makes the motion to completely remove my shirt, tossing it with his. He initiates a passionate kiss after its removal, our chests press together and our hands explore each other's skin.

Kakashi breaks the kiss, moving to my shoulder. He removes a bra strap from my arm, then kisses the skin where the bra strap once was. He moves across my chest, stopping to tease the upper side of my breasts with his tongue, which made me squeal. Then he reached my other shoulder and repeated the same action.

Finally, Kakashi cups a breast through my bra, massaging it through the material. The free hand snakes behind my back, unclasping the bra, leaving it free for removal.

But of course Kakashi doesn't remove it yet. Instead he nuzzles the skin above my breasts and lightly traces his fingers under the material, caressing the skin as he sloooowly exposes a mound. He kisses the side of my breast as his fingers trace circles on the upper portion before completely revealing one side.

I wiggle in anticipation. "You're so slow!" I lament between gasps.

"Ah, but the payoff will be that much sweeter once I unwrap the last part of you." he says. He switches sides to assault my other breast in the same fashion as the other.

Finally...FINALLY my bra joins the pile of discarded garments. I pull Kakashi in for a long and passionate kiss that feels even better now that both of us are half naked. His skin is warm against mine. As we kiss he cups a breast in his hand, tracing circles around a nipple with his thumb, making it harden to a peak.

Kakashi breaks the kiss and lowers his head to capture the hardened nipple with his mouth. He pulls on the peak with his teeth, then he uses his tongue to swirl around the area as he sucks. Meanwhile his hand is hardening the other breast for a similar treatment. I close my eyes and hold on for the long, long ride of ecstasy

As Kakashi works on the other breast with his mouth, his hands work to unbutton my shorts before one returns to give the abandoned breast attention and the other grazes my waist in anticipation.

Eventually he moves his mouth teasingly down my body to my waistline. At this point I feel as if I'm about to explode. Kakashi shimmies my shorts down my legs as he kisses the skin above my panties.

I buck my hips up in response. Kakashi laughs. "Impatient, aren't we?"

"You're enjoying this way too much." I growl.

Kakashi grins and discards my shorts. He moves up my body, pressing himself against me fully for the first time. My breath hitches at the sensation which he cuts off with his mouth. I wrap my legs around his waist and rock my hips against his in search of relief.

Immediately he breaks himself away from me, moving back down to my waist. I twitch in frustration.

"Butbutbut.."

Kakashi traces the edge of my panties with his finger, lightly caressing the skin below my stomach. I moan, bucking my hips again. He smiles and kisses under my pantyline, dragging them down my legs.

He opens my legs to expose my core, and starting at my knee, he begins his teasing assault to my heat.

As he gets closer to my core, Kakashi puts my legs on his shoulders. He pays special attention to the skin on my inner thighs, tracing circles with his tongue and sucking on the skin, making me shudder. He uses his fingers to open my nether lips before leaning in and slipping his tongue inside.

I buck my hips upward. Kakashi steadied my movements with his hands on my rear as he thrusts his tongue in and out of my core, stopping every now and then to nuzzle the sensitive nub above my entrance. It didn't take long for him to bring me to a explosive climax followed by an equally explosive aftershock.

Kakashi untangles himself from me and grins in victory. He moves back up my body to engage me in another passionate kiss. I can taste myself on him, which increases the eroticism of the kiss.

He breaks the kiss and reaches over me to retrieve a condom. Kakashi sheds his boxers and quickly rips open the package and dons the condom in record time.

We press our now fully nude bodies together, our kisses getting more intense as our union nears. Kakashi presses his forehead to mine as he positions himself at my entrance with his hand.

I brace myself as he thrusts himself inside me. I wrap my legs around his torso as he begins to establish a rhythm.

Our bodies slap together. A light sheen of sweat covers us as we move together, our breaths mingle together in time with the rhythm of our union.

This time I take the time to appreciate the fact that I'm currently having mind blowing sex with freaking Kakashi, longtime anime crush, in the flesh.

I feel the familiar blinding pleasure inside me as I arch my back into him as I climax for the third time. And a fourth time.

Kakashi's breathing becomes more and more labored as he speeds up his movements resulting in my fifth climax of the evening. He stops abruptly as he achieves his release, slowly bucking his hips forward as he spills into me.

We stay connected afterwards, as he kisses me gently and lazily. Kakashi removes himself from my body and disposes of the condom in the nearby trash can before taking me into his arms.

"That was...that was...wow." I mumble awkwardly between labored breaths.

Kakashi chuckles and buries himself in my hair.

"You do realize that I'm totally going to do the same thing to you tomorrow night? Though it probably won't be as mind blowing as that."

"I'm sure I'll enjoy it all the same."

X

Author's note: whew. That was exhausting, but a ton of fun to write. I think I may do a future oneshot of that next night. We're going back to actual plot next chapter.

Review and enjoy!


	43. Birthday

Two weeks pass monotonously as Team Guy was on their diplomatic mission.

I missed Tenten. There really wasn't anyone to hang out with that was comfortable speaking in English besides Kakashi and Sai; both of whom happen to be two of of the most socially awkward men I've ever met.

There was also Sakura but I got the distinct feeling that she really didn't want to be around me, so I didn't really try and befriend her.

Even Jiraiya had gone with Naruto to Froggy Mountain for a few weeks.

So what did I do for two weeks? Really, not a whole lot. I attempted to study Eastern with help from Kakashi but he really wasn't much help because he's such a God damn prodigy at everything which made the process kind of infuriating.

Sai had offered to help continue my training in taijutsu which I grudgingly accepted. I just wish he'd stop using "Slut" as my "fun nickname". Though it's a fairly accurate name for me. Personally I prefer the term "nymphomaniac" it's less insulting.

Speaking of nymphomania...well let's just say Kakashi and I have quite the...excessive sex life. He'd been put on light duty for a month since he got himself seriously injured in a battle with Kakuzu merely days after he was discharged from the hospital. Tsunade ordered him to take it easy, leaving him with oodles of free time.

Half of that time he spent either reading or training. The other half he spent with me, naked.

I had settled into a routine.

Tenten was supposed to return the afternoon of May 26th.

My 26th birthday.

I hadn't really told anyone. I mentioned it offhand to Kakashi but really I wanted to celebrate with Tenten.

I wasn't expecting to see a giant present on the kitchen table when I woke up that morning.

The tag was in kanji. Why'd he put it in kanji? I wonder.

Kakashi strolls in, fully dressed and in a particularly good mood.

"I hope you don't mind attending a birthday party." he says.

"Kakashi. Seriously, I don't want a party. I just want to meet Tenten and go out to dinner to celebrate."

Kakashi gives me a look.

"What are you talking about?"

"...You said we were going to a birthday party. It's my birthday today."

"It is?"

I blink. "Yes."

"Well, then. Happy Birthday. I hope you don't mind attending a birthday party for someone else."

"...Who's birthday is it?"

"Iruka's. He's turning 30 this year."

I smile. "So that present's for Iruka, not for me?"

"Mhm. If I had known I would have gotten you something."

"Oh, psh. I don't need anything."

That was a lie. I wanted to hear from Kabuto. I wanted to know if he was okay. I wanted a sign or something.

There was a knock on the door. Kakashi answers. It's Naruto.

("Hey, Kakashi-sensei there was something taped to your front door.") says Naruto as he walks inside the apartment. He hands Kakashi what looks to be an envelope.

Kakashi looks at the envelope in interest. "It's addressed to you, Marie-chan."

I perk up. "Really?"

Kakashi nods and hands me the envelope.

There, in flowing calligraphy, was my full name.

"Marie Ann Baxter"

Only one person knows my full name. I smile sadly and open the envelope.

"Marie:

I know it may shock you to see this letter, but I've been keeping tabs on you since your arrival in Konoha. My sources tell me you're enjoying the company of Hatake Kakashi as you enjoyed my company previously and I find your choice in men quite amusing.

Since today is your birthday, I've come to visit Konoha. Perhaps we'll run into one another.

\- Yakushi Kabuto"

My mouth drops in shock. Amusing!? Why isn't he jealous!? Was I not worth his mind numbing jealousy!? Ugh! That boy is such an ass.

"Um..Marie-chan? Are you okay?" Kakashi and Naruto look at me with a mix of concern and confusion.

I come back to reality. "Yeah. I'm fine. So...will there be cake?"

X

After we leave the apartment to go to the Academy for the party I kept glancing behind my shoulder.

Kabuto is in Konoha.

Kabuto is in Konoha.

Kabuto. Is. In. Konoha.

He could be anywhere. He could be anyone. How could I see him if Kakashi was constantly watching me?

I had to see him. I had to know if he was okay physically and mentally. The letter sounded like his usual dickish self, so hopefully he's gained control of his new form.

I didn't tell Kakashi or Naruto what the letter said, just that it was from Kabuto and it was wishing me happy birthday. Kakashi continued to give me suspicious looks as we walked to our destination.

He grabs my arm once we arrive at the Academy.

"Wait. I need to talk to you. In private. (Naruto, go on ahead.") Naruto nods and walks inside.

"What's up?" I ask, attempting to sound casual.

"What did that letter say?"

"...Why do you need to know?" Shit.

"You've been acting strange. It's my job to know why. I'd prefer if you told me yourself or do I have to keep you on a short leash?"

I groan and fish the letter out of my pocket. "Fine. Read it yourself."

His eyes scan over the letter and he hands it back to me. I could see him frowning behind his mask.

"You do realize I can't let you see him."

"But-"

"No. Don't you realize how dangerous he is? Not to mention he's even more of a threat now that he's absorbed the power of a Sannin." Kakashi enunciates his words firmly and finitely.

I nod solemnly and choke back a few tears. "I know. Believe when he finally absorbed Orochimaru I was terrified that I'd lost him. He was so different. But this letter?" I hold up the letter in my hand. "That is 100% my Kabuto. Every word drips with his brand of vague dickery."

Kakashi sighs in exasperation. "No. Not on my watch. I'm sorry. But it's my duty and I intend to do my job."

"Sure it's not because you're jealous?" I purr.

Kakashi rolls his eye. "You and I both know that's ridiculous."

I huff. "Yeah yeah. Fine. So are we going in or not?"

"I'll be watching you." He moves his hitai-ate to reveal his Sharingan.

"That's kind of overkill don't you think?"

"For you, maybe. Not for him. I'm betting he'll have some sort of disguise."

X

{Kabuto}

Kabuto grins in victory. So far his camouflage had proven impenetrable, even to a Sharingan eye. He was thankful fate didn't give Kakashi the Byakugan otherwise his plan would fail completely.

He'd been tailing Marie and her security detail ever since they left the house. It was obvious Marie had read the letter just as it was obvious that Kakashi had noticed her change in behavior.

Once Kakashi confronted his lover about the letter, Kabuto realized that he'd have to resort to Plan B: confront Kakashi.

It wasn't something something he wanted to do, especially in his current state. He had just only recently learned how to control the unfamiliar chakra that he now possessed. It took quite the toll on his mental state and he had only just recovered.

Confronting this man, who he knew for a fact shared a bed with his lover, wasn't something that was advised for his mental state.

He wasn't jealous. Quite the opposite. He was amused. His Marie (she was still *his* despite evidence to the contrary), was using the poor man as comfort. He figured he'd remind the famed Copy Ninja of this if he caught wind of his visit.

Ah, well. Couldn't be helped. He followed the unsuspecting couple through the Academy's gates.

X

Author's note: I MISSED WRITING HIS SMUG ASS SO MUCH. YOU HAVE NO IDEA.

Tune in next time for Kakashi's inevitable kidnapping.

Review replies!

Sparksofrandomness: You know I kinda do too...Kakashi doesn't mind sharing, but he turned down Marie's threesome idea (see drabble chapter: Greed) because he draws the line at engaging in sexual activities with dangerous missing nin. Such a shame...

I love reviews so much! They give me so much life. Review and enjoy everyone!


	44. Dude in Distress

Warning: short reunion lemon!

Iruka's birthday party was taking place in the teacher's lounge. Apparently it was a surprise party but since I went with Konoha's tardiest ninja, the surprise had long passed and it was just a normal birthday party.

With cake. Mmmmmm cake.

There was quite the crowd for Iruka's birthday. Though I wasn't surprised. In the series he was quite the teacher. I saw a few members of the Rookie Nine in the crowd plus a bunch of jōnin instructors.

"Well, I guess we should mingle." murmurs Kakashi.

"You're terrible at these things aren't you?" I guess with a grin.

"I'm sure you've already surmised from living with me that I'm terrible at anything social."

"Hey. You had to balance out your skill set somewhere. Otherwise you'd be perfect and wouldn't be as endearingly eccentric. You'd just be annoying."

Kakashi snorts. "Alright. Let's go say hello to Iruka and get out of here. Unless you wish to stay, of course."

"We'll see. Iruka is one of my favorites as well."

"You have a lot of favorites." observes Kakashi.

"I like a lot of people in this village."

We move to the center of the room. Iruka was sheepishly giving thanks to those wishing him a happy birthday.

"Yo." greets Kakashi.

("Hey Kakashi. It's been awhile!") says Iruka.

("That it has. How does it feel to be 30?")

("You'll know soon enough.")

Kakashi laughs. ("Don't remind me. By the way, this is Marie. She actually turns 26 today.")

Iruka smiles at me. ("Really? Happy birthday!")

("Thank you. Same to you.") I say and return the smile.

("Well it's been an interesting one at the very least.") says Iruka.

"Tell me about it." I mutter under my breath.

("What was that? I didn't understand you?")

("It was nothing.") I say.

("Apologies for my friend. She's Western.") says Kakashi.

Iruka's eyes sparkle. ("How interesting!")

There is an awkward pause.

("Well, we best get going. It was nice to see you!") says Kakashi quickly, waving in farewell.

("Um. Okay? Enjoy the party.") says Iruka.

Kakashi places his hand on the small of my back as we navigate through the crowd.

"Hey can we at least get some cake? I haven't had cake in forever." I ask.

"Fine. I'll go get us a couple of pieces for the road. Don't move. I can still see you."

He turns and enters the crowd again. I do as I'm told.

Five minutes pass. Ten minutes.

He doesn't come back.

X

{Kabuto}

Finally the Copy Ninja separates from Marie to retrieve refreshments. That's when Kabuto makes his move, snatching Kakashi from the crowd and dragging him into an empty classroom, locking the door behind him.

"Who's there?" Kakashi shouts.

Kabuto chuckles and snaps his fingers to reveal himself.

"Hello." he greets, lowering his hood.

Kakashi glares. "You."

"It's been awhile. How have you been, Kakashi-san?"

Kakashi says nothing and glares at him with intensity.

"Oh my, that is quite the gaze you have there. I really don't want any trouble. I just came to talk. After all we do share a woman."

"What do you want?" growls Kakashi.

"Well, first of all, I want to see Marie. It's been way too long."

"Not going to happen."

Kabuto smirks. "I knew you'd say that. Hence why we're having this little discussion right now. I just want to spend the afternoon with her alone. Nothing more."

"Hah. I doubt that you came all the way here just to see a girl. No, you came here for something else."

"She is quite the girl, wouldn't you agree?" says Kabuto.

"I'm not having this conversation with you."

"Why not? I know she's sharing your bed."

Kakashi narrows his eyes. "What she and I do together is none of your business."

Kabuto cackles. "Well, no. It isn't. But she was mine first. I just want to...revisit that bond we had just for an evening if you know what I mean. I hear she misses me desperately."

"You still haven't told me why you're actually here."

"Why would I reveal such a thing? Right now, all I want to do is spend some quality alone time with our Marie. You'll get her back, of course. But I'm afraid I'm going to need you out of the way for at least eight hours."

Kabuto throws a gas bomb and disappears, leaving an unconscious Kakashi in the empty classroom.

X

{Marie}

Fifteen minutes and Kakashi still hasn't shown up. I was getting fidgety.

Suddenly, I feel a hand on my back.

"Well it's about damn time." I say, turning around. No one was there.

"Huh. Strange." I murmur.

Then I feel someone's breath on my ear.

"Guess who." the voice whispers.

I immediately tear up. "...Kabuto?" I whisper softly.

"I've taken care of your escort, meet me outside and I'll take you somewhere private. You and I have a lot of catching up to do."

Then there was a woosh of air.

I blink and mindlessly start walking to the exit.

X

Once I get outside, there is still no one.

I sit on the swing in defeat. "Guess it was just my imagination." I mumble.

"Oh, I wouldn't say that." drawls a familiar voice. "I can't reveal myself out here but I can teleport us somewhere else."

I raise an eyebrow. "And that's safe?"

"Of course. Here." A hand is on my shoulder. Everything fades in and out again.

I'm in another room, something akin to a hotel room with only a bed, an armchair and a desk.

Fingers snap and Kabuto appears wearing his hooded get up.

He looks a little pale but otherwise completely normal, though his hair is slightly shorter.

I beam and throw myself into his arms. He returns the embrace, holding me firmly against him.

I'm crying like an idiot. "I missed you so much."

Kabuto rubs my back. "I know. I missed you too."

I sniffle. "You did? Seriously?"

"Of course. Why wouldn't I?"

"You left me. With no explanation." I accuse.

"I know. I know. I had my reasons."

I say nothing and untangle myself from him and sit on the bed with my head in my hands.

"And I'm guessing you're not taking me with you."

Kabuto shakes his head sitting down next to me. "No. Not this time."

"How long do we have?"

"Well, I told your lover I'd have you home by tonight and that gas I gave him works for about eight hours. I'm guessing about that long."

I blink. "You DRUGGED Kakashi?"

"How else could I have gotten you alone? Don't worry he'll be fine."

I groan. "Please tell me you didn't patronize him before you knocked him out."

"Just a bit. I couldn't help myself."

I chuckle softly. "So, you have me. What do you want to do with me?"

Kabuto takes off his glasses. I take mine off as well.

He grabs my face in his hands and crashes his lips onto mine.

lemon start

We kiss passionately as if to make up for lost time. We break the kiss and remove each other's clothing as quickly as we can. There wasn't much time after all.

He's gotten skinnier since the last time I saw him. He's much paler too, though I get the feeling that has something to do with Orochimaru's chakra.

Once we shed our clothing he pushes me down on the bed, kissing my neck and massaging my breasts before capturing my lips again to preform the hand seals for the condom jutsu.

He enters me and I latch on to him as he starts to move.

"I've missed this." he pants and moves to plant heated kisses on my neck as he thrusts himself in and out of me.

"I've missed you." I moan.

Kabuto smiles against my neck. "Kakashi not satisfying you enough?"

"Shut up and kiss me. We can talk about him later."

Kabuto obliges with enthusiasm, exploring my mouth with his elongated tongue.

I break the kiss and stare at him in awe. "Y-you can do the snake tongue trick now!?"

"I can." He resumes his assault on my neck, using his tongue in ways he hadn't been able to before, making me putty in his hands.

"That is so gross but it feels so good at the same time." I moan.

Kabuto chuckles and continues to thrust in and out of me at a steadily increasing pace. Finally he hits his release, and pulls out of me to immediately start his assault down my body with his mouth, his destination swiftly approaching.

I nearly climax the moment his lips reach my center. He pistons his tongue into me, finding my g-spot with intense accuracy, applying pressure until I arch my back in release.

I move my hands to his hair, which is now merely shoulder length as I hit my climax. Of course he pushes me into another. And another.

end

Finally I slump into post orgasmic bliss on the bed. Kabuto picks me up and lays my head on his chest.

I fall asleep immediately.

X

Author's note: I kind of rushed the ending but I wanted an entire chapter of pillow talk.

Review and enjoy!


	45. Feelings

I wake up to warmth and someone stroking my hair absently.

I look sleepily at Kabuto and smile. How long was I out?"

"About half an hour."

I groan. "Half an hour wasted."

"I wouldn't say that. I wore you out quite a bit. You just haven't been with me in awhile." says Kabuto smugly.

"Is this seriously going to be some weird one sided contest you're having with Kakashi?"

Kabuto chuckles. "My dear, we shinobi are competitive by nature."

"Correction: *men* are competitive by nature."

"That is also true."

Kabuto leans forward and kisses me gently. I sit up, and prop myself in a sitting position with pillows. He does the same and I lean my head on his shoulder as he loops an arm around my waist.

"So what have you been up to?" I ask.

"Training myself in controlling this new power of mine. It's quite the upgrade."

"Just don't let it go to your head. That's what got you into such a mess in canon." I remind him.

"I *am* quite powerful now. Much more than before."

"No shit. You absorbed your boss, of course you're ridiculously powerful. Gotta say I'm happy you didn't sprout scales and a tail."

Kabuto chuckles. "That was what you were worried about? Silly girl." He kisses my forehead.

"Well *I* didn't know that! By the way, have you gone to see the snake sage yet?"

"Actually, that's where I'm going after I leave you here. It's going to be quite the journey."

"How long?" I ask.

"I can't say."

Well...is there any way we can keep in contact?"

Kabuto sighs. "I'll think of something. It'll be difficult, given your current living arrangements. I don't think I gained any points with your handler by drugging him."

"Hey that's what you did when we first met."

"Hah! That was different." Kabuto smiles slightly at the memory.

"Kakashi really didn't want me to see you."

"I heard. I was tailing him when you two had that spat."

"You know he has a point." I say.

Kabuto shrugs. "It is what it is. He's a Konoha Shinobi, he's only doing his duty to his village and you're an important asset to their security at the moment. I can understand and respect that."

"By the way...you don't harbor any sort of..possessive or jealous feelings towards my current relationship with him?"

"...would you rather I did?"

I laugh. "No, it's just...weird that you're so indifferent about me sleeping with another man."

"I was actually expecting you to do something of the sort."

"...are you calling me easy!?"

"No, no. You already know so many Konoha shinobi from the stories. I'm guessing it feels like you've known them for years."

I nod. "Something like that. What does that have to do with your expectations."

"Odds are, since those characters have more time to develop, your emotional connection to them is deeper. Therefore it'd be easy for someone like you to...enter in a similar arrangement that you and I had with someone in Konoha. I just didn't expect it to be Kakashi of all people. I'm actually rather impressed."

"...am I really that predictable?" I grumble.

"I lived with you for quite some time. I know your patterns. Human behavior is somewhat fascinating to me."

"You're such a fucking nerd. Still. I was rather offended. I thought you'd be more jealous."

Kabuto grins. "Well...I really have no reason to be."

"...you have EVERY reason to be jealous. I'm sleeping with someone else!"

"Ah, but I have something of yours he doesn't have and it's enough for me right now."

"And what is that?" I ask.

"I think you know." he murmurs softly before locking his lips onto my own gently.

He releases me and presses his forehead to mine.

"I thought you didn't believe in emotional connections." I whisper.

"I don't. You and I, we have something that I can't describe. And I've been thinking about it since I left you. It's kept me sane throughout this transformation."

I roll my eyes. "That's called an emotional connection, you dork."

"Perhaps. I think it runs deeper than mere emotion."

"Why, Kabuto Yakushi are you trying to tell me that you love me?" I gasp in surprise.

"It could be love. I wouldn't know. I've never experienced it."

"It's a complicated concept. Not a word you throw around lightly."

"Well then, I should ponder on it more and let you know what I think it is." murmurs Kabuto softly.

"Well...if it helps. I have very strong feelings for you as well."

"That much I already knew. Your arrangement with Kakashi...there's no emotion in it is there?"

"He's a friend. I care for him as such." I say.

"Then there's no need for me to be jealous."

I raise an eyebrow. "You know...if you slept with another woman I would not be this cool with it."

"I merely have a different view of sexual activity than you do, I think. I really have no desire to find another partner. If you hadn't already guessed, I've never had an interest in actively pursuing such matters."

"You're definitely more introverted than I am, that's for sure. I seem to have a weakness for silver haired shinobi with socially awkward quirks."

Kabuto chuckles and leans in for a more passionate kiss.

X

We spend the next few hours as intimately as we possibly could. When we weren't having sex, we were kissing, when we weren't kissing, we were cuddling and talking about what we've missed.

Finally, it was time for me to return to Kakashi. We dress slowly, stopping for long and desperate kisses in between. The. Kabuto teleports us back to the Academy.

He unlocks the classroom where he said he stashed Kakashi in a few hours previously.

Kakashi was still unconscious on the floor.

Kabuto digs in his pocket to retrieve some sort of elixir that he force feeds to Kakashi, who wakes up sputtering.

He gets to his feet and breathes a sigh of relief.

"You found me." he says.

"Actually, I led her here. I'm afraid I must leave now, so I'm putting her back under your custody." says Kabuto.

I look at Kabuto solemnly and wrap my arms around his neck. He crashes his lips onto mine passionately.

When we break, I notice Kakashi staring at us.

Kabuto smiles at Kakashi and walks to face him.

"You take care of her." he says, then he actually leans close to Kakashi and plants a swift kiss on his cheek, then turning back to me and kissing my cheek before disappearing into thin air.

Kakashi blinks in confusion. "What...just happened?"

I grin evilly. "I think he just consented to my threesome idea."

Kakashi shudders. "Lets just go home. My head hurts. We'll discuss this later."

"Can't wait."

X

Author's note: And thus ends the birthday arc. My birthday (and Marie and Iruka's birthday) is next week so I decided to bring back Kabuto as an early present to myself.

Tune in next time for the aftermath and Tenten's return!

Review and enjoy!


	46. Skepticism

When we got home Kakashi immediately flops on our bed and closes his eyes, rubbing his temples.

"Do you need a moment?" I ask.

"What were you thinking, running off like that?" he mumbles under his breath.

"Actually I waited on you. Kabuto found me and took me to a private location so we could talk."

"And you went!?" His eyes fly open and glare at me, the Sharingan eye looking especially menacing.

Shit. He's actually mad. "O-of course I went! I wanted to see him!"

"What part of 'he's a dangerous and unstable missing nin' did you not understand!?" He sits up stares at me angrily. I can't see his face from under the mask, but I'm assuming he's wearing a scowl.

I gulp and maintain my distance I hate it when people yell at me. It's hard to think when someone's mad at me.

"I-I thought-"

"No. You didn't think. You went along with whatever he wanted you to do because he has such a hold on you!"

"That's not it at all! He may be a manipulative bastard but he wasn't manipulating me this time. You don't know him like I do."

Kakashi makes a noise of frustration. "I don't need to know him. I know what he's done in the past. Trust me, you do not want to involve yourself with him."

"So have I. And guess what. You've probably done worse if not as much as he did. You're both shinobi. It's part of the job description."

"Yes, but there is a difference in him and me. He takes pleasure in causing others pain and manipulating them to his will. I don't. I do what I do for the safety of my home."

I scoff. "You really know nothing about him, do you? Do you know what he's been through? Why he is the way he is?"

"Because he's a sociopath?"

I growl in frustration. "No! It's...complicated."

Kakashi barks a humorless laugh. "Oh, yeah this'll be good. Let me guess...he has an entire tragic backstory that garners him sympathy from the audience." His tone is biting and sarcastic.

I scoff. "Oh please. Like you're one to talk."

"What's that supposed to mean!?"

"You're such a hypocrite! You have the mother of all tragic backstories, ya know!?"

Kakashi glares at me. "We aren't talking about me!"

"Hey, you're the one who brought up tragic backstories, not me. Besides...I actually think his is sadder than yours."

"Oh, really? Do tell. I always love hearing a good story."

Kakashi's tone is still dripping with angry sarcasm. His eyes are still bearing into mine, the Sharingan eye is particularly intimidating.

So I tell him the entire story. In detail. Kakashi's gaze settles a bit as he listens.

Afterwards he closes his eyes, takes off his hit-ate and lays back down on the bed. He says nothing.

"Well?" I ask.

"Hmm.."

"That's all you have to say?"

He opens his normal eye. "Well, I can't say it explains everything. But...ROOT operatives have always seemed a little...off in my opinion. All that secrecy...it seems excessive."

I cough awkwardly. "Yeah, well. There's a reason for that. Know anything about the village elder, Danzō?"

"No, not really. I hear he was quite the shinobi in his day."

"Ask Tsunade about him in private and with extreme discretion. That man has eyes everywhere." Literally and figuratively.

"Hm. Why don't you tel me yourself?"

I shrug. "Well, you deserve to hear about it from a credible source. I'm afraid I'm a bit biased. He hurt a lot of people I care about and people you care about as well."

Kakashi raises an eyebrow. "Care to give me a hint?"

"Let's just say Sasuke is going to shift his vengeance over to the entire village very very soon."

Kakashi looks at me in shock. "Are you implying that he had something to do with the Uchiha massacre!?"

"Something like that."

"A little far fetched, even for you."

I shrug. "You don't have to believe me if you don't want to. That's why I'd rather you hear it from Tsunade. She's still skeptical about my implications, but we do have near concrete proof that he's hiding something from us."

"Near concrete is still not concrete."

"Well...he will reveal himself eventually."

Kakashi rubs his eyes and yawns.

I chuckle. "You were unconscious all day. You're tired?"

"There's a difference between being unconscious and sleeping. This entire ordeal has taken all of my social energy."

He yawns again and stretches his limbs a bit.

"Well I had a decent birthday, all things considered."

"I still haven't given you your present" Kakashi murmurs softly and seductively. He sits up and pulls down his mask and gently kisses the crook of my neck.

I hum in delight. "You can some other time. I'm afraid I've had enough sex for one day."

Kakashi immediately stops and shudders. "Remember what I said about that image of Kabuto having sex? I don't want it." He pulls his mask over his face to hide his grimace.

I cackle. "I wouldn't mind if we just made out a bit..."

"Hmph. Please shower. Now. And brush your teeth too!"

"...wanna join me?" I ask coyly.

"I'll pass, thanks."

X

After I shower, I find Kakashi out of uniform and mask, reading a novel.

I settle on my side under the covers. Kakashi neither looks at me nor acknowledges my presence. He merely continues to read.

"Good book?" I ask.

He shrugs and closes the book, placing it on the night stand. "I've read it before. It's alright. The plot is a tad predictable."

"Sometimes predictable is a good thing. It's comforting." I say.

"Comforting, hmm?" he murmurs.

I kiss his bare shoulder. "I could use some comfort right now. I just got left. Again."

"So you run into the arms of another man...a bit...how should I put this delicately...Unfaithful?"

I shake my head. "Nah. You get the Yakushi seal of approval. You may continue your position as my friend with benefits while I am in Konoha without fear of castration."

"I'm honored." Kakashi mutters sarcastically. "Though he has nothing to do with our bedroom activities whatsoever."

"I mean...I wouldn't mind if he did..." I murmur in his ear, and starting a trail of soft kisses on his neck.

"Ridiculous. You're so ridiculous." he says in amusement as he pulls me into his lap and into a lazy and comfortable kiss.

X

Author's note: this chapter is a mess. Sorry readers.

Review and enjoy regardless!


	47. Reunion

The next morning, Tenten picks me up from Kakashi's apartment for some much needed girl time.

I almost cried when Kakashi told me she was at the front door. I threw my arms around her neck and hugged her as tightly as I possibly could.

"I missed you so much. You have NO idea what I've been through." I say.

Tenten pats my back awkwardly and I release her and smile.

"C'mon. Let's go for a walk. You can catch me up on everything that happened while I was gone." she says.

So we stroll and I tell Tenten all about the last few weeks in moderate detail. Tenten says nothing just listens with a blank look on her face.

After I finish, she chuckles softly. "Well, I see you got yourself into quite the love triangle while I was gone."

I scoff. "It's not a love triangle."

Tenten gives me a look. "Sounds like a love triangle to me. If you had to chose one of them, which one would it be?"

"Kabuto. Obviously." I say without hesitation.

"Really? Doesn't seem obvious to me. I would have chosen Kakashi, personally."

I sigh. "Well. The thing is both men have serious social issues and it takes time to really and truly get to know them. I've lived with Kakashi for about two weeks and the only new things I've discovered about him is his bedroom preferences. I've had time to get to know Kabuto. Though admittedly it took quite some time for me to break his shell."

"So...if you met Kakashi first?"

"We may or may not be having a completely different conversation right now if that were the case. The thing is, I've been fascinated by Kabuto's character since I was a kid. Once I got to actually know him, that fascination grew into something only achieved by interaction. Kakashi and I...we don't have that."

"Well...I don't know Kabuto at all, but I know he's extremely dangerous."

"So is Kakashi." I point out.

"Well, yes. But Kakashi has more mental stability. Kabuto obviously doesn't. Plus, didn't he attempt to manipulate you in the past? That's not something you want in a relationship."

"Yeah yeah. He's a manipulative bastard. Still...he's still trying to find himself. I honestly think my influence is bringing out his true self." I say.

Tenten huffs. "You sound like Sakura-chan. She's so convinced that she can change Sasuke-kun and make him come back to the village."

I chuckle. "That's not going to happen for at least a decade. Though he will change drastically within the year."

"Is that so?"

"Mhm. Also, can you keep a secret?"

Tenten nods.

"They get married and have a daughter."

Tenten's eyes sparkle. "Aww! I bet she's adorable!"

"She is! She looks like her dad but she's exactly like her mom. Also she wears glasses and wants to be the Hokage when she grows up!"

Tenten giggles. "It's like all of Team 7 in one little girl."

"So, change of topic. How's the mission go."

Tenten shrugs. "Well the Kazekage's visiting in a week."

I grin. "Really!?"

"Yeah. He was pretty skeptical about the whole thing but we did manage to give him enough tangible evidence that gave the matter some credibility. Still, he wants to meet with the Hokage and you before he makes any decisions. I'm pretty sure you'll be summoned by Tsunade-sama after Gai-sensei hands in his report."

"So did anything else happen?"

Tenten laughs. "Well, apart from the usual team shenanigans, not really. I'm just happy to be home. Traveling with those three can be a bit exhausting."

"I'll bet. I spend two hours with Lee and I'm exhausted. Can't imagine two weeks with him."

"Oh, and it's worse with Gai. Those two feed off each other's energy and it ever stops." Tenten comments with heavy affection in her voice.

"I've never met Gai. I'm a little afraid to, actually." I say.

"He is a bit...intense but he's a very kind man and an excellent teacher. Though, since he's back and you're with Kakashi now, you'll be visited by him quite often."

I look at Tenten in shock. "Please tell me he doesn't have the habit of visiting early in the morning like Lee." Though I had now gotten used to waking up early, Kakashi and I usually used that time to fool around before starting the day. I'd die of embarrassment if Gai suddenly barged into Kakashi's apartment during that time like Lee did with Tenten.

Tenten shakes her head. "Not often. Only if he has a really good idea for a contest. You look a little..worried."

I gulp and laughs nervously, my cheeks growing a little pink. "Um. You could say that."

Tenten studies my face; then something clicks in her brain and her face turns pink as well. "Oh. Ohhhhhhh. Oh my. Well. I'm sure Kakashi will think of something if that happens."

"Doesn't change the fact that it'd be awkward as hell. Ugh..."

Note to self: Make sure Kakashi has a plan in case of Gai interruption during morning fornication.

X

We eat lunch at a restaurant and then Tenten drops me off at Kakashi's apartment .

Kakashi is doing what he usually does after lunch: read.

"So how was your walk?" he asks.

"Alright. How's your book?"

Kakashi shrugs. "I've read it before."

"You should expand to Western novels."

"Hmm. They're expensive. Plus you have to order catalogues and such and I'm not entirely sure I want to make such a commitment."

"I feel like I'm living in the dark ages. Had the Internet been invented yet?"

"The what?"

I sigh in defeat. "Nevermind."

X

Author's Note: arghhh I hate how this turned out. This story is a bit of a mess, but somehow it got 60 followers which kinda baffles me. I mean...I've never written a full story in my life, guys. Sure, my grammar is decent but other than that I have no idea what I'm doing.

Anyway. Review and enjoy, folks.


	48. Succession

{Kakashi: Several hours before}

Kakashi received a summons from Tsunade for no apparent reason.

He arrives at the Hokage building with suspicion. What did she want? Did she find out about what happened at Iruka's birthday and now he's being punished for neglection of duty?

Tsunade smiles at him when he arrives at the office. He bows in respect.

You wished to see me, Tsunade-sama?"

"Yes, close the door behind you, Kakashi and have a seat."

He does as he is told. So far so good. She actually seems...happy to see him.

She hands him a sealed scroll.

"What is this?"

"Keep that on your person at all times. It's important."

Vague. Very suspicious. "What is the importance of this scroll, Tsunade-sama?"

"Well. Hopefully you won't need this but in case I retire, die or become...incapacitated, this scroll confirms you as my successor."

Kakashi blinks. "...Excuse me?"

"You heard me. I'm naming you my successor."

"Isn't it a bit...early for naming a successor, Tsunade-same?"

Tsunade scans her eyes around the room as if she's searching for something.

"...would you take a walk with me, Kakashi?"

Kakashi nods. "Of course, Tsunade-sama."

X

They meet outside the village on a gravel path. Tsunade looks around in suspicion.

"Alright. It's safe. What I am about to tell you is dangerous information that could possibly get me assassinated."

"Assassinated, ma'am?"

"Yes. Tell me, what do you know about the elder Danzō Shimura?"

Kakashi tilts his head. "He was once a formidable shinobi, considered a hero to the village. He also is in charge of a faction of the ANBU."

Tsunade nods. "He's also a manipulative and secretive son of a bitch. I've never trusted him. Anyway. I have good suspicion that he's up to something."

"Let me guess. Marie-chan's information." drawls Kakashi.

"Yes and no. I've been investing that man long before she showed up. She just added on to the information I've already gathered."

"I see. I'm still a little skeptical about her credibility. Should we really take what she says as absolute truth?" asks Kakashi.

"Of course not. Anything she says is investigated thoroughly."

"How has her track record been so far?"

"...Disturbingly accurate."

Kakashi lifts his eyebrows in surprise. "Is that so?"

"Our operatives in Rain have confirmed the new regime in place. It's the Akatsuki. Also...I am looking into her accusations against Danzō, but unfortunately that information isn't that easy to confirm."

Marie had given him a very vague summary of what Danzō did to her (other) lover's psyche and while he found that information somewhat within the realm of possibility, she had also insinuated that the Konoha elder was the mastermind behind the Uchiha massacre, which he found harder to believe.

"I assume this has something to do with the Uchiha massacre?"

Tsunade raises an eyebrow in annoyance. "She told you already? I specifically told her to keep her trap shut until I could find evidence. Ugh, that girl..."

"Not exactly. She told me you would have more information."

"Hmph. Well. I can't exactly investigate that accusation without endangering my own life. He's already suspicious of me."

"Is there tangible evidence?"

Tsunade nods. "Allegedly. His arm supposedly contains all of the Sharingans from the Uchihas massacred."

Kakashi stares at Tsunade with a mix of horror and disbelief. "That's a ridiculous and extremely far fetched accusation."

"I agree. But...he's definitely hiding something under all of those bandages. That I know for sure."

"Is this a hunch?"

Tsunade shakes her head and glances at Kakashi solemnly. "I attempted to preform a routine physical on the man and not only did he refuse, he threatened me if I did not stop insisting."

"That's...very suspicious."

"Indeed it is. Hence why I've decided to secretly name a successor so early in my term."

"How classified is this information?" asks Kakashi.

"You can tell Marie. She was the one who suggested I find a successor. Thank her for the advice. Other than her, tell no one. This I don't want that bastard finding out until it's too late. Plus I'd like to test her knowledge, make sure to document her reaction. Keep that scroll in a safe and secure location until it's needed. Is that clear?"

Kakashi bows. "Yes ma'am."

"You're dismissed."

X

{Marie: Present}

Kakashi closes his book. "I have something to discuss wth you."

I flop on the couch. "What's up?"

"I went to see Tsunade this morning...she had quite the story for me."

"She told you about the Sharingan arm?" I ask.

Kakashi nods. "Also.." he pulls out a fancy scroll from inside his jacket and places it on the table next to his book. "Apparently I'm going to be the Sixth Hokage."

I pump my fist in the air in victory. "I did it!"

Kakashi looks confused. "Did what?"

"I changed canon! I mean, you're gonna end up as the Sixth Hokage regardless, but Danzō became Hokage after the attack because Tsunade didn't have a successor lined up, so it had to be chosen by the damiyo council, who WERE going to go with you but were convinced otherwise by the elder council."

Kakashi blinks. "You're...not surprised?"

"Nah. I was hoping she'd taken my advice."

"I..see. Now, this information is classified. Tsunade doesn't want Danzō to discover who her successor is. I know this going to be hard for you...but I need you to not tell anyone."

I glare at Kakashi. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"I'm just saying you're not the best at keeping secrets. You're too open with everyone about everything. Sure, in moderation that trait can be endearing but some information is dangerous if shared with the wrong people."

"Are you calling me a blabbermouth?" I huff.

"...More or less."

I sigh. "I guess that's an accurate description. I was raised to be honest. My dad hates liars. There are three things my father hates...laziness...dishonesty...and disorganization."

"Let me guess. As a child, you were all three?" There is an amused glint in his eye.

"How'd you guess?"

"Just a hunch. Though I'm guessing you're just disorganized and lazy now, hmmm?" he teases.

I glare at him. "Shut up or I'll come over there and make you shut up."

The amused glint in Kakashi's eye turns seductive as I see him grin behind his mask. "Go right ahead."

I snatch off my glasses and put them in a safe area before storming over to Kakashi and sitting in his lap. I pull down his mask to engage him in a kiss which he immediately takes control over.

When we break, he's still grinning madly.

"Why are you smiling so much?" I ask

"It's nothing." he replies.

"Excited about the promotion?"

"Actually, no. Not really. I'll accept the job, as it is my duty, but I'm smiling because you remind me of someone."

"Who?" I ask.

"...I'd rather not say."

I roll my eyes. "Alright. So...shall we take this elsewhere?"

Kakashi grins again. "You read my mind." He picks me up and carries me towards the bedroom.

X

Review and enjoy!


	49. Self-control

A couple of days passed without incident. Apparently the Kazekage was coming in a few days and the shinobi were abustle with preparations for his arrival.

I was also preparing for his arrival. Mentally, that is.

"You know, I thought *I* was your favorite character." mutters Kakashi as we walked to the Hokage tower.

"Oh? Are we feeling a little jealous?" I tease. "It's different! I see you every day! This is another famous character I've never met! Plus he's a bit...intimidating. No offense, but you're not intimidating. At all. At least...off the battlefield."

Kakashi shrugs. "Fair enough. I just hope you don't embarrass the entire village."

"I wouldn't do such a thing!" I scoff in an offended voice.

Kakashi side-eyes me with skepticism "Hmmm."

"Is that doubt I hear in your voice?"

"Could be."

X

We arrive at Tsunade's office. Tsunade is conversing in Eastern with a black haired woman about my age. In the woman's arms was a small pig.

My eyes sparkle as I run towards the pig.

"How cute!" I coo as I stroke the pig's head.

I love all animals. Cats especially. Back home, I have a three year old siamese who is literally the light of my life. I missed her dearly but I knew she was in good hands while I was away since my father was just as in love with the adorable baby cat as I was.

The pig happily wriggles in the woman's arms as I scratch them behind the ears.

I smile at the woman. ("I'm guessing you're Shizune-san? I'm Marie.")

Shizune returns the smile and nods. ("I am. It's nice to meet you, Marie-san.")

("Likewise. What's this little one's name?") I ask.

("Her name is Tonton.")

I coo as I continue to pet her. "Tonton you're such a pretty girl. Yes you are, yes you are."

The pig oinks happily and Shizune laughs.

"She likes you." comments Tsunade with an amused smirk on her face.

"I like her. She's adorable." I say.

"You like animals, Marie?" asks Tsunade.

I nod. "I do. I love them. I have a cat named Liara back home. I miss her so much."

"Lovely name." comments Tsunade. "Anyway. Down to business: the Kazekage is arriving today to meet with me. He specifically asked for you to be there to bring him up to speed and answer his questions."

"Ma'am does he speak English, I mean Western? As you heard, my Eastern is quite terrible."

Tsunade smiles. "Not a problem. Western is actually Suna's official language."

My eyes sparkle. Native English speakers. Hallelujah praise Jesus.

Tsunade observes my expression and chuckles. "You haven't come across a native western speaker since you've been here, I take it?"

I shook my head. "The language barrier has been a bit tough on me. It's severely limited my social life."

"Well, before you get too excited, you and I need to go over some ground rules."

I nod. "Yes ma'am."

"Rule number one: This meeting is strictly about the Akatsuki and the alleged upcoming war. Do not bring up anything Konoha related. Understand?"

"Yes ma'am."

"Rule number two: do not tell the Kazekage about your association with Orochimaru and his subordinates. It's a sore subject."

"Fair enough." I say with a nod.

"Rule number three: Be professional and respectful. Do not embarrass me. Is that clear!?" Tsunade gives me a glare that could most likely kill a man.

I gulp and nod.

"Crystal." I squeak.

"Alright. Kakashi. Take her home. Make sure she looks presentable. The Kazekage will be here in three hours. Dismissed."

Kakashi bows. I bow and wave good bye to Shizune and Tonton. Shizune gives me a smile and waves back. Then we leave the office.

X

Three hours later, Kakashi and I return to the Hokage tower showered and dressed in a navy yukata. My hair was fashioned into a simple bun and I had attempted to wear light make up.

Instead of Tsunade's office, Kakashi took me to a meeting room with a circular table. Tsunade, Gaara and his siblings were already seated and waiting patiently.

I attempt to maintain my composure. The Sand Sibs. In the flesh. Oh my God. Gaara, Temari and Kankuro are right in front of me.

I squeeze my eyes shut and will myself to cease with the inner fangirling.

They're staring at me curiously. Oh right, I'm supposed to say words.

"Um...Hi. I'm Marie." I say. Inwardly I curse. So lame. I am so lame.

"Have a seat, Marie." orders Tsunade.

I bow and take a seat directly across from Gaara. He acknowledges me cooly.

Temari and Kankuro assess me neutrally as I sit down. I smile nervously.

"Welcome. I am Gaara, Kazekage of the Sand. A pleasure to meet you." His tone is polite and cordial.

"I'm Temari, the Kazekage's bodyguard and older sister."

"Kankuro. Also a bodyguard and Gaara's older brother. Nice to meet you."

I nod in acknowledgment. "N-nice to meet all of you."

There is an awkward pause.

Tsunade clears her throat. "Alright. As you all are aware, the Akatsuki are attempting to obtain all nine of the legendary tailed beasts. Currently the reason is unknown, unless Marie would like to provide input."

I smile nervously. "I don't entirely understand the reason. It never made sense to me. Hence why I've never tried to explain to you, Hokage-sama."

"Can you at least try to explain for us?" asks Gaara.

"Um. I can try, but it may not make any sense."

Gaara nods subtly. "Try your best."

I gulp. "Um, okay. Well. Most of the Akatsuki don't know the true reason behind their mission. Most of the members believe they are collecting them to gather power so they can dominate the shinobi business or something. Again...don't ask me how it works."

Tsunade narrows her eyes at me. I feel sweat dripping down my neck. I hate talking to a group of strangers about important things like this. It was easier explaining to Tsunade one on one, but the more people, the more nervous I become.

Temari and Kankuro might as well count as ten people each with the way they were staring at me.

Gaara's face remains neutral. "And what is their true goal?" he asks.

I take a deep breath. "N-now that, is hard to explain because again, I don't exactly understand it myself."

Temari tilts her head. "Are you a civilian?"

I nod. "A-actually...I don't have a chakra network."

"That's impossible. Every living thing has chakra." interjects Kankuro.

"We-well. I don't."

"I believe we are getting off topic. Continue." interrupts Tsunade.

"C-can I get some water?" I ask.

Tsunade nods to Shizune, who exits the room.

There is an awkward silence. After about a minute, Shizune returns with a large glass of water.

I take a sip. "Okay. Y'all know about how the tailed beasts were formed, right?"

Gaara nods. "They were formed from the fragments of the Ten tails."

"Well...they want to make the Ten tails whole again."

"For power, I assume?"

I take a drink from my glass. Here we go. "Well. They want to envelope the entire world in a genjutsu powered by the moon and the ten tails using some form of ocular kekkei genkai."

"The infinite Tsukkuyomi." murmurs Gaara.

"That sounds...about right."

"Then it is worse than I feared. If you are telling the truth, that is. I propose we call a summit. There have already been similar attacks on other jinchūriki. The Akatsuki is a very real threat to the Five Great Nations."

"But...doesn't that take time?"

"It will. I will send several teams here just in case. I will command these teams personally. They will not capture Naruto as they captured me."

x

Author's note: alright. Full disclosure. I don't know the Naruto timeline very well. I'm like 90% the second Itachi kicks the bucket is when Pein decides to attack Konoha. So that's how I'm going to write it.

X

Review replies!!

RimK10: Mixing drama and humor is a delicate balance but I try and keep them in equal measures. Also, ;) Kabuto will hopefully give you more shivers in future chapters.

(Thinking about making a correspondence chapter between Marie and Kabuto. I miss him already)

Generator X: Hehehehe. I've got a long way to go in writing anything quality. Glad you subscribed to my trash story regardless!

Review and enjoy folks!


	50. Correspondence

{in honor of reaching chapter 50, I give you a series of letters between Kabuto and Marie and I made it super super long}

{Note: this is now a sliiiight world crossover with Dragon Age. No characters, as this is set in modern day. But I decided to use Thedas as a template for an equivalent of the European continent since there are mages and templars and magic and stuff. Anyway Orlais is basically France, so when Kabuto is proposing a vacation in Val Royeaux, he's basically offering to take her to Paris.}

Kakashi had left me in the apartment alone at my request. Today I didn't feel like going out. Today felt like a stay at home all day and read sort of day.

It was mid morning and I was in Kakashi's library attempting to find something simple to read. I had started trying to read Eastern books, though it was quite a challenge and the dictionary was used quite frequently.

I hear a pop behind me, which causes me to jump in the air in surprise. I turn around and there is a tiny snake wrapped around a scroll.

I stare at the scroll.

("You're supposed to take it.") says the snake, causing me to scream.

The snake remains unmoving. ("He said you'd do this.")

("Is this from...Kabuto?")

The snake says nothing and slithers over to the desk.

I unwrap the scroll. A vial of blood drops to the floor. I pick it up and stare at it.

"Well that's creepy." I murmur, placing the vial on the desk next to the snake.

I unwrap the scroll and start reading:

"Marie,

This is my correspondence summons. While you were asleep during our last meeting, I acquired some of your blood, so he can sense where you are at all times. You may name him whatever you wish. I've attached a vial of my chakra-infused blood so that if you need to summon him, you are able to. Simply apply the blood to your thumb and press it against a summoning scroll.

I've begun my journey to the Ryūchi Cave in the mountains. My training will be long and brutal but I will gain so much from this experience. Becoming a snake sage is something even Orochimaru couldn't accomplish. I believe I have the ability to do so.

When this is all over, I will return to you a more powerful being capable of anything.

-Kabuto"

I look at the snake. Hmm what should I name him?

("How do you like the name Dorian?") I ask.

("It does not matter to me.")

Dorian it is. I search for a pen and paper for my reply.

"Kabuto,

I've decided to name him Dorian. I wasn't exactly thrilled about being surprised by a tiny snake with a scroll. Though I'm pretty sure you knew that. You're lucky that I am currently alone in Kakashi's apartment. Is there any way he can appear more..discretely? Or in the same place over and over again? Kakashi is still miffed about our little rendezvous a few days ago, I'd rather not have him knowing that we're communicating.

Please be careful. I don't want you getting hurt. Sure, you're a genius med-nin with a ridiculous amount of power but still. I want you back alive and as mentally intact as you can be. Don't get on a power high, alright?

Things are tense around here. I can't give you details but I'm really nervous.

I miss you.

-Marie"

("Alright, Dorian. Here you go.") I say, handing the snake my letter. He wraps himself around it and disappears with a puff of smoke.

X

"Marie,

The name Dorian reminds me of a novel I read in Thedas years ago. There was a character named Dorian Pavus, a mage of extraordinary ability whom defied his country for the greater good. Perhaps I'll send you a copy of the novel if I come across it again.

I'm sure you and my summons can work out a location. Wouldn't want you to get into any trouble with your handler because of me.

I understand your concern for my sanity. It's not easy being alone with your thoughts as often as I am these days. There are often days when I miss your presence and wit dearly. It was consistent and comforting.

However this is something I must accomplish. I must be powerful enough to be considered indispensable to my chosen allies.

-Kabuto"

"Kabuto,

Waitwaitwait. Thedas is an actual location!? When all of this is over, you and I are going on a world tour. Before I ship out to my home, of course.

You're welcome to join me in my world. I'm sure someone like you could be a great asset in science or medicine. Though we may have to find you a very good document forger...

Anyway. If you come back with me, you could start anew. You wouldn't have to worry about shinobi politics. You could become a scientist or go to medical school. Your amazing intellect is all you need unless you want to go into the military. Come and live the American dream with me.

-Marie"

"Marie,

Thedas is a continent in the west with a rich history and mythology. Once I achieve my goals here, I will take you to Val Royeaux in Orlais for a romantic getaway. I'm sure you'll find Orlesian culture as fascinating as I do.

Alas, I would only join you in your world if I knew I had a way back to this one. The American dream is an idealistic way of life that wouldn't suit me. Honestly from what you've told me about your country, it seems like that dream is not even possible. I would most likely involve myself in things that would probably put you in danger as I worked on improving your country from the inside.

-Kabuto"

"Kabuto,

You're taking me to Orlais!? Can we visit the Dales!? And Skyhold!? Of course Val Royeaux is also on my list of places to visit as well.

Sorry, Thedas is also a continent that is fictional in my world. Remember I told you about video games? There's an entire series of games based on medieval Thedas and I've played all three. Some of the best world building I've seen. Also, I must read every book Varric Tethras has ever written if that's even possible.

So you're telling me you'd join an intelligence agency if I brought you back with me? I thought you didn't want to be a spy anymore.

-Marie"

"Marie,

Ahhh. Tethras. That was the author's name. Ask Kakashi, I'm sure he can get those books for you with his connections. I've read some of his work. He's considered a literary icon. Though, the man was also a bit of an adolescent. His first novel was titled 'Hard in Hightown.'

Intelligence gathering is my strength. It's also a thrilling occupation. Being an effective spy means I get to help mold the nation I am collecting for. It's not something I could get from being a simple scientist or doctor. I wouldn't make as much of a difference.

-Kabuto"

"Kabuto,

Heh heh heh. Hard in Hightown. I asked Kakashi if he's ever heard of Varric Tethras and he said he has, but he's never read any of his books. So I'm currently trying to convince him to take me to the bookstore so we can order them.

Kakashi's a bit suspicious of me, asking about a 200 year old novelist/adventurer/viscount isn't normal behavior. Though I do remind him that history was my passion back home and it's only natural for me to study this world's history. I think that finally convinced him and I'm pretty sure we're going tomorrow if all goes well.

Making medical advances is world changing, you know. Plus, isn't it thrilling enough to be able to travel to a different universe at will? My world doesn't work like your world.

\- Marie"

"Marie,

Kakashi is a well known bibliophile. It doesn't take much to convince him to obtain new reading material.

I'm aware your universe is different than this one. With all your technology advances, I highly doubt I would be much use in the scientific field as your world is more advanced than mine.

I'm getting closer to my destination. I should be at Ryūchi cave within the week. There's a slight chance I may not survive this training. No one has achieved snake sage status in centuries, though many have tried. Even Orochimaru-same has tried. I'd be lying if I said that I'm not terrified. I wish to keep on living, there's so much I have to do before I meet my end.

-Kabuto"

"Kabuto,

Kakashi caved and took me to the store today to make the order. They said that the shipment should take a week. So exciting!

You're a genius, you dork. Who cares if you've been living in a less advanced world? It's really not that less advanced than ours and I'm sure you can quickly catch up with tech.

You. Survive. Trust me. If you could survive in canon alone and slowly losing your mind, you sure as hell can do it now with a support system and less sanity slippage! Perhaps it'll be easier on you now that you've gotten more control over your new chakra.

-Marie"

"Marie,

Like I said before, it doesn't take much. Enjoy the new literature.

I'm flattered that you have so much confidence in my intelligence. If I get the capability to hop universes at will, I will definitely return to see how your world thrives. Perhaps you and I can live together once again.

Your insistence does raise my confidence a little, though the fear has not completely dissipated. It's a big step in my evolution as a shinobi. It's only human to be nervous for big future events.

-Kabuto"

"Kabuto,

Um...My current living situation back home wouldn't really allow us to be together like we used to. I have no steady income whatsoever and I live with my parents who frown on men and women living together and not getting married. It's a culture thing. Though that sounds like a lovely idea.

Well...I know you can do it. If you ever get too nervous, feel free to voice your concerns to me. I'll always listen.

\- Marie"

"Marie,

Marriage, hm? Well, I wouldn't mind marrying you in your universe to appease your family's customs. Besides, I have ways quickly of procuring income in any universe. I'd support you until you finished your studies.

Thank you for your support. It's comforting to have someone waiting for my safe return.

-Kabuto"

"Kabuto,

Did you...did you just ask me to marry you? As in 'til death do we part' and 'taking your last name' marriage? I'm not sure you understand how big of a commitment that is. It means you'd be stuck with me until you die. If you marry me in my universe I am of no practical use to you there whatsoever.

And...you're welcome.

-Marie"

"Marie,

I understand the definition of marriage, silly girl. Remember when I told you that we had a bond that I couldn't explain? It's similar to a bond I once felt a long time ago with my adopted family.

I may have lost them, but you've given me the chance to start anew in a new universe or even multiple universes, I want it to be with you. That is, if we ever find a way to do such a thing.

\- Kabuto"

"Kabuto,

That may be the most romantic thing you've ever said.

I'm not entirely certain how to respond. Ask me again once things settle down, alright? You and I have a lot on our plates at the moment. It's a bit early to think about settling down at this time, given our...unusual circumstances.

-Marie"

"Marie,

I understand. Right now you're helping on the opposite side of me and sharing the bed of another man. Hardly good circumstances for an engagement.

At the moment it's enough that you're giving it some serious thought. Our lives leave little time for starting a new family.

This will be my last letter for quite some time. I am approaching my destination, so just in case, let me say this now that I have the chance.

I love you.

I love the way you laugh, I love the way you smile, and I even love the fact that you know exactly how to make me so irrationally angry so quickly.

I love that we can comfortably talk for hours about nothing in particular. I love that we can spend hours in comfortable silence. I love your quirks, your flaws, your twisted logic. You fit me as well as I fit you.

Sorry that I couldn't tell you sooner. I don't feel things very easily anymore, and you're the first person in a long long time that has made me feel like myself.

\- Kabuto"

"Kabuto,

Dammit. You made me cry. Admitting your feelings for me couldn't have been easy for someone as closed off as you are.

Ever since I first truly fell in love at the age of 17, only to get my heart broken a year later, it's been hard for me to actually admit my feelings even to myself. Every time I get my heart broken, it gets harder.

I care for you a whole lot. But I can't call it love just yet, as I don't want to sabotage whatever this is because you and I work so well together.

Despite what anyone says, I believe you to be a good man who has had a lot of terrible luck in his life. You deserve to have someone caring for you, and no one has for the longest time. And...hopefully I can be that for you. Maybe. If I don't screw it up.

I can't say that it's love just yet, but you must know that you're extremely important to me and I want you to come back from this safe.

I'm not really that religious, but I'll make an exception by praying to God for your protection.

Good luck.

\- Marie"

X

Author's note: Yeaaah fifty chapters! Hopefully this wasn't too mushy for you guys.

We will return to or regularly scheduled program next update!

Review and enjoy!


	51. Formalities

(We're backing up a bit, last chapter was a bit special)

I breathe a sigh of relief after the meeting ends, making sure the Sand Sibs and Tsunade were out of earshot when I did.

"That nervous, eh?" asks Kakashi in an amused tone.

"Christ. You have no idea. I sounded like an idiot."

"Now, I wouldn't say that. Unprepared and nervous, perhaps."

I glare at him. "You know I've been practicing for days! Hell, I even made you pretend to be Gaara."

"Well, yes. But you forgot about the other two."

I turn around and press my forehead to the table next to my glass of water. "Yeah...that Temari...so intimidating."

"Who's intimidating?" asks a female voice.

I roll my head to the side. Of course. Temari.

"No one..." I mumble.

"I see. The Kazekage is inviting you to dinner this evening. It would honor us if you'd join."

"Sure...When's food?" I ask airily, slowly sitting up to take another sip of water.

"Two hours in the guest suite. See you there." With that she leaves.

I glance at Kakashi nervously. "Why'd I say yes? This is going to be that stupid meeting all over again! Especially when they find out that I'm the pickiest eater alive!" I hiss.

"I can see how that would come off as rude to foreign delegates." mutters Kakashi sullenly. He's put up with my dietary needs for three weeks now. When he first tried to make me dinner, I refused to eat everything except the chicken. It resulted in a small argument about proper nutrition. Then he made me consent to taking multivitamins so I wouldn't 'wither and die'.

"Kakashi. What do I do!? If I eat anything I don't like I gag and it's going to be offensive!" I lay my forehead back on the table, squinting my eyes shut.

"Calm down, I'm sure you can spread your food around or something."

"If I'm lucky they'll just let me choose my portions." I mutter into the table "Do you know anything about Suna cuisine?"

Kakashi shrugs. "Don't forget I'm the son of the White Fang, dreaded enemy of the Sand. I've only visited their village once."

"Oh, right. I forgot."

X

We return to the apartment for awhile. Kakashi reads and I pace nervously until we hear a knock at the door.

Kakashi answers the door. After a short conversation with the person at the door, he calls for me.

"What's up?"

"Your escort's here."

"I-I thought you were gonna be my escort." I stammer.

"Sorry to disappoint." says an unfamiliar male voice from behind the door.

Kakashi opens the door a little wider. It's a young man with pineapple hair whom I'm assuming is Shikamaru Nara.

I eye Kakashi desperately. He smiles from behind his mask. "You'll be fine. Have fun."

"Traitor." I mutter, which earns a soft chuckle from the Copy Nin. He leans towards my ear.

"I'll make it up to you later. Promise." he whispers seductively.

I smirk and step out of the apartment. "Alright, Nara. Let's go!"

Kakashi waves and shuts the door rather quickly, leaving me and Shikamaru alone.

Shikamaru studies me curiously. "So you're the famous Marie-chan."

"Famous?"

"Yeah. Sakura talks about you all the time. It's kind of annoying." He motions for me to follow him and starts walking away.

"Sakura talks about me? Why?"

"Who knows? I don't actually listen. I hear your name every now and then with her conversations with Ino during dinner." Shikamaru shrugs indifferently.

"Hmm."

"Don't look too much into it. They talk about everyone. (So troublesome...)" he mutters.

"So, how'd you get roped into being my escort?" I ask.

"Temari. I owe her a few favors. Plus she offered me free food."

I smirk. "So, is she a friend of yours?"

"I guess."

X

We arrive at the suite. Kankuro answers the door and flashes us a warm grin.

"Heya, Marie! Shikamaru! Come on in!"

I return his grin and enter the room. Gaara and Temari are seated on a couch. There's an empty couch that I assume is for me and Shikamaru.

"H-hi!" I greet everyone. Shikamaru nods his head in acknowledgment.

"Have a seat." states Gaara. Temari smirks at Shikamaru who scowls in response as we sit down, causing her to chuckle.

"S-so-"

"Relax. We just want to get to know you better." says Kankuro casually as he takes a seat beside his siblings. "You seemed a bit uptight during the meeting."

I giggle awkwardly in response.

"We hear you're not from this universe and that our universe is a fictional world where you live." Temari chimes in, still grinning.

I nod. "Yeah. All of this is kind of nerve wracking."

"No kidding." mutters Shikamaru. "No wonder you're so nervous."

I throw him a glare. He shrugs it off.

"There's no need to be nervous." says Gaara. "I understand that you're only trying to help."

I laugh nervously. "I probably sounded like a crazy person during the meeting."

"Nah. You did fine." assures Kankuro with a grin.

My lips twitch. "It's nice to hear my language spoken so casually again. Almost forgot what that sounded like."

"Don't mind Kankuro. He's a bit rude when it comes to diplomacy. We usually just tell him to keep quiet." says Temari.

I shake my head. "No, it's refreshing. You guys are the first native English...I mean Western speakers I've come across during my time here. Most of the fluent speakers are more formal with their language. Kinda makes me feel more at home."

Kankuro grins at Temari, who sighs. "Well, bro. For once your lack of formality worked to our advantage. Never thought I'd see the day."

Kankuro laughs loudly. "Well, thank you!"

"You're welcome, man."

X

Author's note: You guys are lucky I got a chapter done today. As I'm writing this, my entire face is completely numb. I got fillings done this morning and the drugs have yet to wear off.

Review replies:

milpd: I made most of them skippable for that very reason. Not everyone wants to read sex scenes, so I made them optional. I may post a separate version minus the sex scenes and omitting at least three chapters. This entire story is a giant writing exercise for me (lemons are the easiest way for me to practice writing action, sadly) and I do try and space them out. I'm glad you're enjoying my little story regardless!

Guest: I agree with you, actually. It does move a bit fast and one of these days I'm going to go back and completely rewrite it once I have more experience writing under my belt. So far I only have one month of writing experience, so it's not time for that yet.

Thank you for your input guys, it's super appreciated! Review and enjoy!


	52. The Family Dinner

After a good ten minutes of small talk, dinner was ready to be served. We were escorted to a modestly sized dining room table covered in food platters with various types of food to choose from.

Inwardly I breathe a sigh of relief. I wouldn't have to embarrass myself by refusing to eat weird food. Hell, they even had macaroni and cheese.

I take a seat and fill my plate with various meat and lots of macaroni and cheese. Kankuro eyes my plate and snorts in amusement as he takes the seat next to mine.

"What?"

"What are you like, twelve?" he teases.

I roll my eyes. "Actually more like four. I never learned to eat my vegetables. I was stubborn and now I gag every time I try to eat them."

Kankuro blanches. "Seriously? That can't be healthy."

"Correction: it's definitely not healthy. My mother thinks it must be some sort of sensory processing thing."

Kankuro blinks. "A what?"

I shrug. "Some sort of neurological sciencey thing."

Kankuro gives me a confused look. Temari chuckles at her brother's confusion.

"It's best to use small words. My brother may be a talented shinobi but anything else just goes over his head." she says.

Kankuro huffs and glares at Temari. "Hey! That's totally not true. I'll bet you had no idea what she said either."

Temari says nothing, but rolls her eyes and takes a sip from her soup.

"Guys, guys. I'm not certain any of that terminology exists in this universe. Our medical science isn't based on chakra like yours, but on the body itself."

"Actually we do have non chakra based medical science." says Gaara. "Doctors and medical shinobi are not the same thing, of course."

I blush sheepishly. "Right...of course. Sorry." I totally didn't know that.

Shikamaru covers his mouth in amusement. Prick.

"No need to be embarrassed. I'm sure there's a lot about our universe that is unfamiliar to you." assures Temari. "You did think all of this was fictional before you came here, right?"

I nod. "It's a series aimed at teenagers. Quite the cultural phenomenon, actually. I was a fan as a kid, but I grew out of it once I hit my late teens. I picked it up again pretty recently since it was completed a couple years ago and now there's..." I trail off. I probably shouldn't bring up the fact that there's a running series about the next generation.

"There's..what?" asks Shikamaru curiously.

"Um. Just a sequel. Nothing interesting so far." I say, stuffing food into my mouth.

"Uh huh. Okay."

"Can we change the subject?" I ask, swallowing my mouthful of food before speaking. I wasn't raised in a barn.

Kankuro snickers. "Don't want to mess up the timeline or something?"

"Kind of. Sort of. I realize I'm already messing up the timeline just by being here. For the better, I hope."

There was a nagging sensation in the back of my mind that my involvement could lead to horrific results.

What if Danzō decides Tsunade is prying too much and decides to stage a coup?

What if a ton of sand shinobi die during Pein's attack?

What if Kabuto decides to grow a conscience and blows his cover? Not likely to happen but still.

I stare blankly at my food while the Sand Sibs converse amongst themselves with Shikamaru.

After awhile Kankuro nudges me. "You alright? You look lost."

I snap out of my thoughts. "Y-yeah. I'm just...not feeling that great. I probably should go home. Thanks for having me. The food was great."

The Sand Sibs exchange glances with one another.

"It's not a problem. Though, you are looking quite pale. Are you sure you're okay?" asks Temari.

"I...didn't upset you with my timeline jab, did I?" asks Kankuro.

I smile and shake my head. "No...no. I'm not upset. I just feel a bit light headed."

Gaara looks at me with curiosity, but nods in understanding. "Shikamaru will escort you back home. I look forward to getting to know you better."

Kankuro grins. "Same here. Feel free to come by anytime."

Temari nods in agreement. "I hope you feel better, Marie."

I wave farewell and leave the suite with Shikamaru.

X

I return to Kakashi's apartment in a pensive and melancholic mood.

Kakashi is in his favorite recliner reading what looks to be a mystery novel. He eyes me as I wordlessly sit on the couch as worst case scenarios of my interference flood my head.

Tsunade getting assassinated. Konoha being torn apart by a civil war and therefore not being able to join the Allied forces against the zombie army. Kabuto drinking the crazy koolaid and completely losing it.

I hang my head in my hands and groan.

"Dinner went well, I take it?" asks Kakashi in a lightly sarcastic tone.

"Actually it went well. Sorta." I mumble.

"Hmm...I don't think I believe you."

I scoff and lie down on the couch and stare at the ceiling. "Believe what you want, I guess."

Didn't Kakashi die during the Pein invasion? What if he dies this time and Naruto can't convince him to sacrifice himself to bring everyone back? Then Konoha would have lost a great leader. And it'd be my fault.

I choke back tears. I can't cry. Not here. Not now. Not in front of him. I sit up and walk to the bathroom, and shut the door. I press my back to the door and allow myself to cry silently.

Sure all of this is hypothetical but it still scares the shit out of me. Hell, I could've given them the wrong information because my Naruto knowledge is so skewed by time. I could have gotten so much wrong. It could prove fatal.

I hear a soft knock at the door.

I wipe my eyes.

"What?" I ask, carefully making sure that my voice doesn't waver.

"...Something's bothering you." Kakashi states in a soft voice.

"It's not something that you can fix with a hug and some really good sex. I shouldn't have involved myself in any of this." I mutter darkly.

"What are you talking about?"

I sniffle. "You know I haven't been a fan of this story since I was in high school. I haven't read the manga since I was 16. I only really halfway paid attention to the anime while I was watching a select episodes semi recently. I am not qualified to give credible information on any of this shit."

A sigh. "I see. Come out. Let's talk about this." Then I hear footsteps walking away from the door.

I wipe my eyes again and pull myself up to leave.

X

Author's note: I had to sit on this one for a bit. First my birthday came up and then I had to work all day. Also I'm trying to plan ahead and I'm thinking about going and rewatching some episodes because after the attack on Konoha my knowledge gets a bit fuzzy.

Review replies!

Guest: Well feel free to dish out any advice you can. My writing style is still forming and all of this is unedited and typed on my phone. It's a bit of a mess. But I've been trying to write every day to improve as a summer project. I've enjoyed writing this story and so far the feedback I've gotten has been really positive.

Review and enjoy folks!


	53. Butterfly Effect

I slowly trudge to the living room. Kakashi sits on the couch casually, his mask covering the expression on his face.

I sit in the recliner and stare at my feet.

Kakashi clears his throat.

I continue to stare at my feet.

There is an awkward pause.

Kakashi clears his throat again. "Marie."

"What?" I mumble solemnly.

There is another awkward pause.

"There's no need to be afraid. You do not carry the events of this universe on your shoulders."

"Not the entire universe. This village."

"Not true." Kakashi's voice is firm. " We are in control of our own destiny. Whatever happens to this village will be our responsibility."

I shake my head. "No, no, you don't understand. I could be solely responsible for the destruction of this village. Just because I thought I remembered some things that happened."

Kakashi sighs. "No. No you're not."

I grit my teeth. "Yes. Yes I am."

"No. You're not."

I look up from my feet to look at Kakashi, who meets my gaze with intensity.

"Yes. I am. Want me to give specifics.?"

Kakashi says nothing and continues to study me intensely.

"Fine. I told Tsunade Danzō's dirty little secret. He's probably planning to assassinate her as we speak."

"And that's not your fault. Tsunade chose to act on your intel based on evidence she had already been collecting against him."

"But still. *I* was the catalyst. If he plans a coup it's my fault. Mine."

Kakashi sighs. "Based on a decision she made on her own?"

"A decision she made because I gave her information."

Kakashi raises an eyebrow. "Is that intel true?"

"Well...yes? I believe so. It may not be exactly accurate but he really does have an entire arm of Sharingans."

"Then it's not your fault. She chose to act on the information and raise his suspensions. She knows the consequences. Believe me. That's why she chose a successor."

"But, does she? You know now that Jiraiya's still alive, Naruto may not be able to convince Pein to call off his attack and resurrect the casualties."

Kakashi gives me another look. "Since Jiraiya's alive both he AND Naruto can talk some sense into Pein."

"But...you do realize in canon, you die during this fight? How are you this calm right now?" I feel tears welling up in my eyes.

Kakashi sighs. "I'm a shinobi. Death is a part of life."

"Well I'm *not* a shinobi. My only experience with death was two years ago when my coworker died of cancer. If you died for good in this battle, I'd never forgive myself."

Kakashi reaches over and takes one of my hands into his, rubbing circles into my palm, which made tears actually fall.

"C-can I sit in your lap? I need cuddles."

Kakashi smiles behind his mask and pulls me into his lap. I rest my head against his chest. He takes one of my hands in his, continuing to caress my hand gently, his other hand rubbing my back. He places his chin on top of my head, burying his masked face into my hair.

We sit in silence for awhile. I sink into his warm chest comfortably as I sniffle pathetically.

"Promise me something." Kakashi murmurs into my hair.

"Hm?"

"If I die during this battle, promise me that you won't blame yourself, alright?"

I snort softly into his jacket. "Such hypocrisy." I mutter.

"That's different and you know it. And I'd rather not bring my past into this discussion."

"Sorry." I mumble.

We cuddle in comfortable silence for a few minutes.

"Feeling any better?" he asks.

"No, not really. The cuddling is nice, though."

Kakashi snorts softly. "Glad to be of service. I wish I could do more than provide physical comfort."

"Sorry I'm so stubborn. I just can't shake this sinking feeling that something terrible is going to happen."

"And why is that?"

"Because that's what always happens. It's my destined life pattern: I try something and it blows up in my face. I live in a cycle of failure that has perpetuated my entire life. This time people's lives are on the line. If someone dies indirectly because of me I'm never going to forget the fact that I was the cause."

Kakashi sighs. "I may not know the events of your life that somehow shaped your ridiculously low self confidence, but you are most definitely not going to be responsible for anyone's life but your own."

I sniff. "Are you kidding!? I just finished meeting with another village leader so he could make a decision to lead troops here based on things *I* told him. How is their fate not my fault!?"

"They chose to listen to you. You didn't force them to do anything." assures Kakashi.

"But what if I'm wrong? What if I didn't remember any of this correctly?" I bury my face into his chest. Kakashi wraps his arms around me in an embrace.

"What happens, happens. If you're right, then things may turn out for the better." Kakashi whispers in a comforting tone. He rubs my back gently.

"If I'm wrong...?"

"Try not to think about it. I know it's hard not to. Believe me, I understand better than anyone."

"I...just don't think I can stop once I've started, y'know?" I whisper.

"All I can do is offer a temporary distraction, I'm really not very good at this."

I smirk. "Temporary distractions are nice while they last, but it's best not to rely on them. It's running away from your problems and it's something I do far too often."

"Hmm..." hums Kakashi. "That's...actually quite mature of you, especially since you've had such a terrible day. Just thought I'd offer an alternative..."

I blink. "What is this? Are you asking for permission to make a move on me or something?"

"You're upset, I didn't want to upset you any more by spontaneously inciting certain activities..."

Instead of answering, I pull down his mask and gently meld his lips to mine.

When we part he chuckles. "Thought you said you didn't want to rely on distractions."

"I changed my mind. Just for tonight. Make me forget for a night and then we'll tackle this breakdown tomorrow. Gentle passion is what I need right now."

Kakashi looks stern. "No, what you need is someone better to help you work through this. I'm taking you to a specialist tomorrow, alright?"

I nod. "Alright."

He smiles and carries me to the bedroom and uses his body to make me forget for the rest of the night.

X

Author's note: Yaaay Marie's getting therapy next chapter!

Review replies!

Ranko Reaper of Soulz: I'm glad you're enjoying the story! Though there are very distinct differences between Marie and myself; she's much more extroverted than I am.


	54. How does that make you feel?

I didn't sleep very well that night. I had dreams that literally shocked me awake every two hours or so. Kakashi, being the light sleeper that he is, would also wake up when I did. He'd do his best to calm me back to sleep by whispering comforting words paired with gentle kisses and caresses, but two hours later the cycle would start again.

When morning came, both of us were still exhausted. It took longer for us to get the motivation to get out of bed that morning, though not for the usual reason.

"It's a good thing you're getting some help today." Kakashi murmurs sleepily. "If this became a nightly occurrence, I'm afraid I would have to exile you from my bed."

I was too tired to reply, I only glare at him in disapproval.

X

We leave the apartment a few hours later. Kakashi ends up taking me to the Academy.

We stand at the gates and I make a noise of confusion.

"What?"

"Um...who's this professional we're seeing?"

"Iruka." Kakashi says. "He's read your file and he has experience in helping strange individuals."

"I hate to burst your bubble, but my Eastern is not good enough for a therapy session."

"Actually your Eastern is better than you realize, but yes. I agree."

"Then why are we going to see Iruka? He can't speak my language." I say.

"Well...no. He can't. Jiraiya and I have been developing a genjutsu that Iruka's agreed to test for us."

I laugh. "What? Some kind of translation jutsu?"

Kakashi nods. "If all goes well, you and Iruka will be able to understand each other perfectly."

"Interesting. Sounds fun."

X

We arrive at Iruka's office a few minutes later. Iruka waves at us and smiles.

"Yo." greets Kakashi.

("Hi Kakashi. Marie-chan. Ready to get started?") asks Iruka.

("Ready when you are, I guess.") I reply.

Iruka nods to Kakashi, who begins to rapidly perform a series of hand seals. There is a puff of smoke around Iruka and then nothing.

"Alright. Can you understand me?" asks Kakashi.

Iruka pauses. "I can. Are you speaking Western, Kakashi?"

"That I am. And so are you!"

Iruka grins. "Excellent. How long does it last?"

"Until you feel like releasing it, hopefully." answers Kakashi. "I'm going to give you two some privacy. I'll be outside your office if you need me." He turns and exits the room, pulling out a familiar looking orange novel.

When the door shuts, Iruka motions for me to have a seat. "Sit down, Marie-chan. We have a lot to discuss."

I sit down and stare at my feet.

"I've read the report Jiraiya-sama put together. You've been through quite a lot in the past year."

I shrug and look at him with apathy. "Actually my life has been pretty normal up until recently."

Iruka raises an eyebrow. "You call being pulled into a universe that is a work of fiction in yours normal?"

"Well...no. I mean my life with Kabuto."

Iruka glances at the report on his desk. "Orochimaru's young subordinate whom you were in a romantic relationship with?"

"Yeah. We had a pretty normal and domestic life all things considered."

"So...he didn't abuse you physically or emotionally?" asks Iruka.

I shake my head. "He had a temper, sure, but he never assaulted me unless it was for taijutsu training. Emotionally we did have some issues, but it's nothing a little couples therapy wouldn't fix."

"You sound like you miss him."

"Well..I do. I also worry for him constantly."

Iruka smiles. "I don't pretend to know anything about relationships since I have been in very few of them myself."

"Are you in one now?" I ask.

Iruka blushes in response, which makes me chuckle. "W-well. I am, actually. I just started seeing the Hokage's assistant, Shizune."

I gasp happily. "Aw! That's adorable!"

Iruka blushes even more. "W-we're talking about you, not me right now."

"Sorry."

"Anyway. Is there anything else you'd like to comment on your life with Kabuto?" asks Iruka.

I shake my head. "Nothing super relevant to my current predicament."

"Alright. Now, Kakashi tells me you're experiencing some...distress."

"Well...you could say that." I mumble.

Iruka sighs. "Marie-chan. You have to open up to me for this to work."

"I know it's just...difficult to talk about."

"I understand. But I need you to try. I can't help if you don't open up to me." says Iruka calmly.

I take a deep breath and start explaining my fears to Iruka. He says nothing and listens carefully until I stop talking.

"Well...I can certainly understand your fears. Changing destiny isn't easy." he says after I finish.

"That's an understatement." I mutter.

"I get the feeling you've had difficulty succeeding in an academic setting."

I raise my eyebrows in surprise. "How'd you guess?"

Iruka laughs. "I'm a teacher. I see these things. You know,

you're a lot like Naruto."

"I wouldn't say that. I don't have his determination or work ethic at all. We probably just have the same mental disorder."

"I wouldn't say that. I see the same fire and passion in your eyes as I do in Naruto's." comments Iruka.

"Sure, we're passionate individuals but I still can't stop the possibility of people getting killed because of me. At least Naruto can do something about it. I can't even manifest chakra. Sure, I've gotten semi decent at taijutsu, but I'm still at academy level. Sai kicks my ass on a daily basis and he's not even a taijutsu specialist."

Iruka grins. "I think I can get you a better sensei."

I look at him in despair. "I don't like the way you're looking at me right now. You're not going to suggest I go study under Gai, are you?"

Iruka coughs to cover up his laughter. "Well, he's been bothering the Hokage about you ever since he heard about your...unique condition."

I blink. "Seriously? I've never actually run into him."

"I think Kakashi has been sheltering you from him for quite some time now. He doesn't think you're ready yet, though I think you should give him a try."

I shudder. "I'm not entirely sure I want to walk around with weights for the rest of my life.."

Iruka laughs again. "I'm only suggesting this since you expressed a desire to help in any way you can. Having shinobi level taijutsu skills would come in handy if you want to change things yourself."

I gulp. "You make a valid point...I guess I'll try him out. It's going to break Sai's cold little dead heart, though..."

X

Author's note: Next chapter is going to be a fun chapter filled with misery and the spirit of youth.

Review replies:

Ranko Reaper of Soulz: I FIND THE PLOT AGAIN AFTER A FEW CHAPTERS DON'T YOU WORRY.

Review and enjoy folks!


	55. Springtime of Youth

Iruka and I talked for another hour or so about my problems. He may not have a therapist license but he's a damn good listener.

When we were finished, I thanked him and left the office to find a napping Kakashi.

He wasn't obviously napping, his eyes were open and it merely looked as if he were really, really into his book. But his breathing gave him away. Kakashi snores through his nose, albeit quite softly. It's something not everyone notices.

I cough loudly and he snaps awake, giving me an annoyed look and placing his book back into his jacket pocket.

"Ready to go?" he asks while stretching his arms.

"Yeah, sure. By the way, I'm going to need to contact Gai."

Kakashi twitches. "Why?"

"Because I'm going to need to start stepping up my taijutsu training as soon as possible."

"Why do you need to do that?" His voice cracks slightly.

"To enforce my will upon this world!" I strike a pose with a peace sign and grin wildly.

Kakashi chuckles softly and ruffles my hair. "You're adorable."

"Don't patronize me, asshat. I'm serious! I'd feel a lot more useful if I could actually fight."

"And that takes years. From what I've seen you've only been training for a few months. Are you really willing to submit yourself to Gai's...excessive training regimen?"

I nod furiously. "I'm willing to try. What? You don't think I can handle it?"

Kakashi gives me a look. "That's exactly what I'm saying. I don't think you're thinking this all the way through. Putting your body through harsh training isn't what you need. It's not used to being active. You're going to get yourself hurt."

I shrug. "No pain no gain. As long as you supply plenty of ice and sexy back massages, I'm willing to try."

Kakashi looks at me curiously, as if he were weighing his options, his finger tapping his chin thoughtfully. "Hmm..that does sound rather appealing..." he muses. "I still don't like the idea, though. Don't you dare give up after the first day, alright? This better not be another whim of yours."

"I am dead serious." I say firmly.

"Fine. I'll contact him. Be prepared."

I stand up straight and salute. "Yes, sir!"

X

Kakashi wakes me up at 4am the next morning. After ten minutes of prodding on his part, I reluctantly tear myself away from the nice warm cocoon that once held our shared body heat.

"Why did you wake me up at 4 fucking am, Kakashi? I know you're no morning person either." I mumble as I poke at my cereal.

"Well I would have woken any normal shinobi training under Gai at 4:45, but I figured you needed to wake up a bit to muster up the enthusiasm needed for his lessons." Kakashi says with a small smile on his ridiculously handsome face.

I glare at him which makes his grin grow. "Why are you smiling like that?" I ask in annoyance.

"Hm? No reason." Kakashi pulls his mask over his nose and gets up to wash his bowl in the sink.

"Uh huh. You're not plotting anything weird or something, are you?"

Kakashi gives me a look and shrugs. "I'm just curious to find out how all of this pans out. That's all. Hurry up, it's almost time to leave. Don't want to be late!"

I glare at his retreating form as he heads to the bathroom. "Such a hypocrite." I mutter.

X

We arrive at the training grounds a couple of minutes early. Gai was already there stretching in a very extreme manner. I wince inwardly at his movements. I know I'm only like four years younger than him but a man of his age should not be able to bend like that.

When he sees Kakashi and I walking towards him, he speeds towards us in a blink of an eye. I stop walking and freeze up at his sudden proximity and I even stumble a bit, but luckily Kakashi stops me from falling by bracing my back with his hand.

"GOOD MORNING NEW STUDENT!" yells Gai in heavily accented, but enthusiastic English. He grins brightly at me and strikes his infamous "Nice Guy"pose. It's all so extra that it renders me speechless.

("Morning, Gai.") Kakashi greets in a carefully apathetic tone.

This shifts Gai's attention from me to him.

("Eternal Rival! Are you here to join us in our pursuit of a more youthful physique?")

Kakashi shrugs. ("I'm just here as an escort.")

Gai sniffs in disappointment. ("Bah! You should participate! I wish to test my skills against my Eternal Rival once again!")

("Pass. You should focus more on teaching this one today.") Kakashi pats my head, earning a scowl from me.

Gai smiles at me once again and gives me an enthusiastic thumbs up.

("Anyway. I'm about to perform a genjutsu so you two can better understand each other") says Kakashi.

Gai strikes another pose. ("Proceed! I look forward to instructing my new student!")

Kakashi leers at Gai for a second and starts to perform the signs needed for the Translation genjutsu. A puff of smoke appears around Gai and dissipates almost immediately.

Gai blinks in confusion and then turns to me. "Alright, my new student! What is your name?"

"I'm Marie. It's nice to meet you."

"Marie! By the end of this lesson you will be one step closer to your goal!"

"My...goal?" My eyes widen.

Kakashi starts walking over to the bench, his shoulders shaking in thinly concealed laughter.

X

Author's note: I AM SO SORRY YOU GUYS. I just got Mass Effect Andromeda and its taken away my writing bug. In the time I've been away, I've hit over 100 reviews and 75 followers! I'm surprised that I've gotten so many in such short a time. Sorry this chapter is so terrible. My updates will be slower since I'm trying to find a job and I have a new Mass Effect game to play. Eventually I'm probably gonna write a Ryder/Kandros fic because I'm salty that they didn't let us romance him. But I'm gonna focus on this one for now.

Review replies:

Papermoon: It's gonna be a rough ride. The story's a mess. Hopefully I don't disappoint!

Pika: Your spam literally made my Saturday and gave my muse fuel to finish the chapter I was stuck on. Thanks friend.

Also to address your questions:

⁃He doesn't really do social situations..and she was the first name that popped into his head. Poor Sakura

⁃Hate to break it to you, but there will be no glomping of Gaara. Marie's trying to maintain a sense of professionalism. Sorry.

⁃And no...she never did get any cake. She was too distracted by Kabuto's appearance to care. XD

⁃No you're not terrible. Because you're right. Shhhh.

Dark Rose Charm: ahh! Thanks for your reviews! You pushed my review count into the triple digits!!! To answer your question: No, Kakashi wasn't jealous he was pissed at Marie for being so reckless.

Review and enjoy!


	56. Summer of Youth

All things considered, training with Gai didn't suck. Turns out, being a taijutsu master means knowing how much the body can take.

Of course that didn't mean he went easy on me or anything. Quite the opposite. My days training with the man were as intense as my sessions with Sasuke...with a more patient and knowledgeable instructor.

On my training days, I would spend every waking hour with Gai working on my technique and strength. Surprisingly I found myself to be quite an eager student. I mean...there is no way in hell I'm ever going to emulate the man by wearing that hideous green jumpsuit, but I found myself affected by his enthusiasm and work ethic.

And it drives Kakashi insane.

Kakashi Hatake doesn't ever outwardly show his feelings. He is a subtle man. If he is annoyed, most of the time you wouldn't know it as he maintains his apathetic demeanor almost flawlessly.

Almost.

The reason Kakashi and I have worked so well as ..'roommates' these past couple of months is because we both understand that neither of us are any good at being social. We don't really understand how people are supposed to interact with one another. (That being said, my interactions with Gai are NOT helping my social interactions, let's be clear)

Gai's infectious enthusiasm has bled into my speech patterns and whenever Kakashi notices them, he visibly shudders.

"What?" I'll ask whenever I notice.

He always blinks before answering. "Hm?"

"You did it again."

"Did what again?"

"The thing."

"What thing?"

I huff in frustration. "Whenever I start talking about how psyched I am about training you do a thing."

Another blink. "What thing?"

I imitate his 'Gai shudder' " THAT thing."

"I did no such thing."

"Liar."

Kakashi shrugs. "You're imagining things."

"Whatever, dude. I know what I saw."

X

Despite the threat of invasion looming above the village, life was going well. I had secretly gotten back in touch with Kabuto, which lifted my spirits immensely. Dorian and I devised a system that revolved around my shower schedule. He would appear in the bathroom during the time that I was in the shower to leave or take letters. I would hide the accumulation of our letters in my duffle bag.

It wasn't perfect of course, sometimes I'd miss drop times and sometimes Kakashi would join me in the shower unexpectedly. But Dorian's been trained well and knows when to make himself scarce.

X

Over the past few weeks I've noticed a vast change in my strength and power. It's funny, when I first started training, I was ridiculously out of shape, overweight, and weak as a kitten. It's amazing how much working on your physical form changes your life. I've slimmed down to a whopping 130, ten pounds closer to my ideal weight. I'm faster and more agile thanks to Gai's agility training.

It gave me hope to know that I could defend myself during an invasion. I felt as if I could maybe make a difference if I could survive.

But...nothing prepared me for what was about to happen.

X

Author's note: I AM SO SORRY FOR THE WAIT GUYS. MY WRITER'S BLOCK WAS REALLY BAD AND I WASN'T SURE WHAR DIRECTION I WANTED TO TAKE THE STORY AND I AM SORRY I PROMISE I WON'T GO A MONTH WITHOUT UPDATING AGAIN

deep breath*

That being said. Holy shit I've gotten almost 100 followers. Sorry it's so short, this is more of a transitional chapter. Also the writer's block hasn't completely gone away just yet.

Review replies!

Dark Rose Charm: She's already regretting her decision I think..

ChocoGummies: ahh! You make me blush! Your review gave me the warmest of fuzzies.

Rixe Rhapsodos:Eheheh. You'll see. In the manga (spoilers) Kabuto does go batshit crazy but he actually managed to not get himself killed or imprisoned in canon. Hell, Konoha put him in charge of their orphanage. Sure he may or may not be running secret cloning experiments in the basement but things turned out okay for him in the long run. Still...dear lord prepare yourself for some depressing shit if you're a Kabuto fan. Actually watching him lose it prompted this fic. Honestly if he just had at least one person whom he knew cared for him he probably wouldn't have lost his mind like he did.

Thanks, though I'm actually a native English speaker. I'm just extreme paranoid about word choices and such. I don't edit my own shit.

Also back in the day (2009-11)I was a DBZ Abridged irc admin when their channel was actually active where I ruled with an iron fist. This wasn't my username of course. Just fun author trivia. (I haven't watched the series in yeaaaars but yeah)


	57. NOT AN UPDATE

Well folks, I've decided to fully rewrite The Subject because it deserves better than where the plot was going when I went on hiatus. I'm probably not going to continue this version but I'm going to leave it up because, while I dislike how I wrote it, I don't cringe hard enough to delete it. I'm three chapters into the rewrite and it's already SO much better, guys. Hope you enjoy it!

~ LambGraceless


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